Reading the Tea Leafs: Luke Schenn
Following on the success of two other dormant series Chemmy and I have decided that in order to fill the gap in NHL news that we'll take a look at each of the current Leafs, possible Leafs on the Marlies, janitors, marketing interns and prospects. We'll recap their performance last year, what we can expect from them, and how they can win our hearts (hint: signing the contract was a good first step...unless your name is Bryan McCabe Ian White). We have no idea how long of a series this will end up being or how consistent it will be but with two of us expect it to only be half as half-assed and twice as timely.
Don't make Luke Schenn angry. You wouldn't like Luke Schenn angry. What's Russian for "Dear God, he's killing me. Please spare me."?
Contract Status (according to NHL Numbers)
$850K salary, $1.25M cap hit, RFA July 1, 2011 (hahaha just kidding, this kid is going nowhere)
Age (as of October 1, 2008)
18 - November 2, 1989
NHL Seasons
Zero - Soon to be nine games (and only nine games)
Former Leaf he'd have to play like in order to be christened a deity
I'll defer to 1967ers on this one. I don't think the Leafs have ever had a defender as good as Schenn could be unless Salming, Horton, Barilko, Kaberle, and Yuskevich were ever cloned into one body.
Alternate reply: he's already been christened but it won't matter because his ministry continues in the WHL for now.
Biggest Question Marks
How will he do in his nine game stint against the full squads of some very good teams?
2007-2008 Summary
All you have to know is that years from now June 20, 2008 will be celebrated across the country to mark the day that the Leafs' franchise said that it would not go darkly into the night, that it would fight for its right to win Stanley Cups, and that Luke Schenn, the Son of Wendel, was delivered to a fanbase that thirsted for such a star. An old and wrinkled Luke Schenn will be asked to come out to show his success as he waves his quintet of Stanley Cup rings in what is known as the Five Fingered Salute. But let's not get ahead of ourselves although we basically already have. What's the kid going to do this year?
Projected 2008-2009 role/team
Ron Wilson is rightfully worried about damaging his stud prospect. Too much too soon in the bigs could damage his confidence and crush a budding superstar. Too much time in the WHL could cause the development of bad habits that will hinder Schenn for the rest of his career. The solution? Nine games in the NHL.
Why nine games? The basic reasons are so simple that even The Omen eventually managed to clue in to them: it is vital to keep Schenn on his entry level contract for as long as possible in order to a. have players overperforming on their contracts and b. delay his RFA/UFA status by a year.
Why not just send him down to the WHL now? Here's where The Omen's vision clouds because there is no cheap shot to be taken. These nine games, along with the first nine pre-season games, will allow Ron Wilson to deploy Schenn in a myriad of situations. All the while he has been explaining to Schenn exactly how he wants him to play in all of them. Armed with that knowledge, Luke can return to Kelowna with a clear game plan on what he needs to work on in order to win the Calder Trophy next year. It's not rocket science. Everyone here figured it out in short order.
So enjoy these first nine games, pray that Fletcher can stay the course, and count down the days to Opening Night 2009 when Schenn slowly makes his way to the blueline for the National anthem that will kick off his 20 year career as a Leaf.
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You’ll notice that now, in addition to Buzzing any good posts you can Digg it and Share it on Facebook. Please use these whenever you feel it’s warranted.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
a favour?
Will you digg My facebook if I buzz YouTube?
/simply could not resist another one of these
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
Personally, I don’t know if any hit could surpass the Bell one but I’d like to see Schenn try.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions
How crazy is the ACC going to be on 10/11 if Luke is on the starting line as the players are announced? I’m hoping to see something akin of the SJ minor earthquake. The announcers thought the crowd was so loud it appeared that the rafters were swaying. Turns out both were true…
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 3:24 PM EDT reply actions
Every single Ottawa Senator ever, even Patrik Lalime
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
Especially Brad Marsh.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions
What i’d really like to see would be some form of chain reaction where he went through the whole Sens lineup one after the other like an unholy game of Tetris.
Maybe he can do a flashback and dive into the sens bench a la Darcy Tucker.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 3:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Other
would have to be Alffy. In Mark Bell’s honour.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
All of the above
That would be the correct choice…
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 3:27 PM EDT reply actions
Other:
All breathing players on opposing teams.
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and any underperforming Leafs.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 3:33 PM EDT up reply actions
no pressure
on Luke’s shoulders, eh.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
None whatsoever
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Go Leafs
Go with your gut instinct!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Only
If it involved Kerry Fraser
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 7, 2008 4:39 PM EDT up reply actions
On the AP exam (it’s an exam for a class you take in high school that you can apply for college credit if you do well) english test, there was a ten page excerpt from some really dry british book. It was supposed to be stuffy upper class “humor” of the sorts that steel magnates at the opera could laugh at in the 1800s. I read the first two sentences before rendering my essay. The only thing I wrote was:
I would rather be either party to a murder suicide than continue reading the passage distributed with this exam.
I placed ahead of 20% of all respondents.
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awesome
I wish I had the guts to do that on some of my exams.
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
It’s nice to see you have such nice things to say about one of my boyfriends.
Ain't nothing but puck drops and poke checks, babydoll.
by Wrap Around Curl on Oct 7, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
He’s a likeable guy.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
One!?!
I’d have thought Luke would be all the man any gal could handle… ;P
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions
I have many boyfriends.
It’s skill.
Ain't nothing but puck drops and poke checks, babydoll.
by Wrap Around Curl on Oct 7, 2008 5:13 PM EDT up reply actions
If he could smash out Kovalev that would be awesome. He’s a crafty bugger though. A sneaky effing russian, to paraphrase a fav film of mine..
Yeah
I just don’t like Kovalev. I hope someone gets him next.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn’t work… you can always hit them with it.
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But…Seeing how yours has REPLICA written down the side
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
That’s why I always buy authentic jerseys.
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Suggestions?
I just realized my jerseys are obsolete. Tucker, Domi, Roberts, Sundin. What to do what to do…?
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
My jerseys pre this season were:
Tucker
Sundin
Belak
Wellwood
Ask somebody else for advice.
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Wellwood?
That list is like a “pick the one that doesn’t belong…”
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 5:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Chemmy Curse
Buy a Tanenbaum and Peddie jersey.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 7, 2008 5:07 PM EDT up reply actions
I just stick with Leaf Legends, Gilmour, Clark, Sittler etc
next on the docket, Salming
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 7, 2008 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Dougie
I forgot, I’ve got his as well, all be it from a smaller day and age. It fits, but it’s looking more like Fat Guy in a little jersey…
I’m liking Hagman, and he’s signed for a few years. I’ll go with Schenn if he stays past nine games.
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Looks Good
I’m going with a third jersey look this year. I’ve got three in white, two in blue.
Jared – Good call, maybe I’ll shame the rest of my collection and get a mid 80’s jersey with #17…
Anybody throws me against the boards I'm gonna piss all over myself.
by blurr1974 on Oct 7, 2008 5:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Agreed
I like the third jersey, did not like the new Reebok crap last year but the Reebok third jersey looks respectable and that may be one to consider when I get some funds in my wallet again.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Yeah. The only named one I have is a Sittler jersey. Vintage is good.
Traditionally, I’ve been wary of getting the jersey of a current player cos it’s a bit of a waste when the guy leaves and you’re £60 out of pocket. Traditionally, I’ve always been poor too. There may be a connection.
I’m totally getting a Schenn one when he’s here to stay though.
There must have been some kid out there who ended up with a Rob Pearson jersey. Man, that would have been a crappy Christmas morning. I wonder if one can find out how many jersey’s every Leaf player ever has sold. Who’s got the most obscure jersey ? My only one’s a #17 with the ‘C’.
by Mirinov's Nose on Oct 7, 2008 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Really?
I’m probably the only person ever to rock a Domi with the captain’s C. we should be friends, or at least some sort of club.
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
A Sundin jersey
will never be obsolete, my friend. You have the jersey of the greatest Toronto Maple Leaf. Ever. Frame it. Hang it on your wall. But, please, don’t call it obsolete.
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Contentious issue
Since Sundin hasn’t officially retired, the topic of greatest Maple Leaf will have to hold for now. And I realize most of us went through this issue when he surpassed Sittler on the all-time point list, but Sundin as the greatest will not be met without controversy.
This is a difficult topic, considering the Leafs (and Rangers, but they stink) don’t have that one all-time clear and present greatest franchise player like other teams do. I wouldn’t argue Sundin being at the top of the heap, but there are lots of arguments for others and a few against Sundin, too.
This, of course, may be a moot point when Schenn is on board. I would assume he wins by default as he destroys everyone in the league by his mere presence, de-virginizes nuns merely with a wink, and curing the world of disease, including being a fan of the Ottawa Senators.
Mine's blank
No name on my jersey, was too cheap to shell out for one with a name but I am thinking of putting a name and number on it, probably put on Sundin’s since he is the most recongizable Leaf for me (I have only been watching hockey seriously for about 10/11 years anyway).
Although 2 years back I nearly ran out to buy a Habs jersey and was going to put Raycroft’s name and number on it after his atrocious final game of the season… its a good thing the Leafs squeaked out that win otherwise I really would have no choice but to do that.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
I have
A Potvin jersey and a Tucker shirt. I’ve tried to get the classic 80s jerseys off EBay a few times without success.
Besides his development, I want Luke to go down so I can go to Giants games when Kelowna is in town, wear my Leafs jersey, and cheer for OLAS (Our Luke and Saviour) the entire time.
My dad had a Macoun and an Ing, back in the day.
I asked him where they were at, and he responded with a shrug and an I’dunno.
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 7, 2008 6:24 PM EDT up reply actions
I was actually jealous of a friend that had a Greg Terrion jersey when I was like 10 or 11…
For those of you born in the 80s.
Terrion owns a gas station in Marmora (or at least he used to in the early 90s).
A life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...http://bitterleaf.blogspot.com
Valk
fackin rules.
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I want to get a signed Joseph jersey. And a Potvin, Potvin is love…
So when do I start work?
by GerbersAdvocate on Oct 7, 2008 10:10 PM EDT reply actions
I live
about a half hour’s drive from Keswick, Ontario where Cujo is from and he is sighted in my town quite frequently
funny none of my friends and I ever thought about getting his autograph…
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Welcome
Thanks for joining and awesome avatar.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 8:51 AM EDT up reply actions
I would like to see him cripple Daniel Alfredsson.
Aren’t I nice.
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by Linix129 on Oct 8, 2008 6:11 PM EDT reply actions
Then you came to the right place.
Though if you really want Alfie crippled you’d just hope Dany Heatley offers him a ride home some time.
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