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10 Random Leafs predictions

We are just over a day away from the beginning of the season so it's time to make predictions for the upcoming season. Throughout the day we'll have a number of previews. I present to you the ray of sunshine in the overcast world that is the Barilkosphere and Honourary President for Life of the Mats Sundin Appreciation Society DGB from Down Goes Brown.

Wow, I'm posting on PPP! Is this how Jeremy Williams feels when he gets called up from the Marlies third-line to play a few games in the big leagues? Am I going to score at a goal-a-game pace for a week then never be heard from again?

Ah well. Here is a small helping of random and disconnected predictions for the upcoming year.

Star-divide

Ryan Hollweg will end a 17-year streak of Leaf fans loving their enforcers

From a half season of Craig Berube to Ken Baumgarter to Tie Domi to Wade Belak, Leaf fans have had a long run of having at least one widly popular tough guy in the lineup every season.

That will end this year. For the first time since Kevin Maguire in 1991, the Leafs' only enforcer will be a designated punching bag who'll be ready and willing but not especially able. It won't take long for Leaf fans to get tired of his nightly Kimbo Slice impression.

Jeff Finger will be a media favorite by November

The anti-Finger backlash is probably the most predictable element of the new season. But the flip side is that it won't take long for folks to realize that while he's not worth $3.5M, he's also not terrible. And that will lead to an emerging storyline of "Jeff Finger, so over-rated he's under-rated!"

The Leafs media loves to bring up Larry Murphy's rough ride but the truth is they barely made a peep in his defence when he was here. This will be their chance to make amends. Damien Cox already has his pro-Finger column written and he'll hit "send" on it the minute the first boos start to rain down from the ACC upper deck.

We're going to hear about Bryan McCabe, Darcy Tucker and especially Kyle Wellwood all year long

The same media that dogged them and worked to drive them out of town will breathlessly report on every goal these guys score all year long.

And god help us if Andrew Raycroft gets a shutout. The Star will need to print a special edition.

Speaking of McCabe...

Bryan McCabe will waive his no-trade clause to go to allow the Panthers to deal him to a contender at the deadline

Admit it, you hadn't thought of it but you're already nodding your head, aren't you?

Mats Sundin's return to the ACC will be a letdown

Yes, he's coming back. And when he finally gets around to cherry-picking a front-runner to join some time after Christmas, the hockey world will circle the date of his return to Toronto as a visitor.

But even assuming he doesn't pull a Clemens and fake an injury to get out of the game, Sundin's return will be anti-climactic. Half of Leaf nation will want to welcome him back and the other half will want to boo him, but both sides will be so worn down by six-months of indecisiveness that they won't be able to summon the passion to really let him hear it.

And of course, most of the suit-wearing corpses in the platinum seats won't even know who he is.

Two, and only two, of Jiri Tlusty, Nikolai Kumelin, Alex Steen, Jonas Frogren and Anton Stralman will take their game to the next level

And no, I don't know which two. But the truth is, if two guys from the list above can elevate their games to breakout status then that's pretty good. It's not that every young player has to exceed expectations, only that a few do. Two out of five wouldn't be too bad.

Especially since they'll be joined by another forgotten young player...

Carlo Colaiacovo will be one of the best stories of the season

Sure, he's always hurt. But what if he wasn't? For a guy who was considered a top prospect only a year or two ago, he seems to have been all but written off.

Colaiacovo hasn't developed into much of an offensive threat, but he's solid defensively and one of the best open-ice hitters in the league. If he could ever put even a semi-healthy season together, he could be a revelation.

(The best thing about this prediction: in the 90% likelihood that he does get hurt, I can shrug this prediction off as not being technically proven wrong.)

Jason Blake will be good this year

I know, I know. I've been as hard on Blake as anyone. And he deserves it -- he was awful last year.

But this year, Blake looks sharp. Whether he's come to grips with his medical issues or just decided to refocus after a tough year he's looked good in the pre-season. Here's betting that he puts together a decent year -- let's say 25 goals.

And that could be great news for the Leafs since if Blake plays well enough they may be able to find a sucker trading partner at the deadline to ship his albatross of a contract to.

Maybe they can even package him with...

Vesa Toskala will be dealt at the deadline

While deep down we all know Toskala is somewhat over-rated (if he's really a top ten goalie how come you can think of 15 guys better than him?), he's still a solid backstop who would be attractive to one of the handful of playoff-bound teams who always seem to have goaltending issues.

The Leafs will trade Toskala at the deadline for a good-but-not-great package, ride a worn-out Curtis Joseph into the ground down the homestretch, sign a veteran backup in the off-season and usher in the Justin Pogge era on a part-time basis in 2009-2010.

That last sentence had way too many hyphens.

Wendel Clark Night will be the highlight of the season

It will also result in approximately 100 posts on Down Goes Brown in the weeks leading up to the big night.

And when his number goes up, I will probably cry. (Or, as I'll refer to it in honor of his big night, "punching out all my tears".) I will tell my wife that I am having a problem with my contact lens.

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We’re going to hear about Bryan McCabe, Darcy Tucker and especially Kyle Wellwood all year long

Oh God yes. Not that we will hear about their struggles (ie 10 goals on 43 shots for Raycroft) but if they do something good…

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 11:54 AM EDT reply actions  

WEN-DEL
WEN-DEL
WEN-DEL

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 8, 2008 11:55 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, I’ll probably have dust in my eye. Stupid dust.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 11:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

I’m not going to buy tickets to that game in case Wendel decides to beat up everyone in attendance to show his gratitude.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 8, 2008 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

stupid errant eyelashes

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Oct 8, 2008 1:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

stupid dusty eyelashes

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 8, 2008 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

I blame

the lemon juice I just squeezed in my eye

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Oct 8, 2008 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

stupid punch to the face

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. --Harry Truman in a pep talk to the 2008-2009 Toronto Maple Leafs

by MapleLeafs85 on Oct 8, 2008 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

DGB
Honourary President for Life of the Mats Sundin Appreciation Society

lol

Sports And The City

A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...

by eyebleaf on Oct 8, 2008 12:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Pretty Banged On

Can’t really find any reason to disagree with any of those predictions.

Toskala’s alright, but he’ll definitely be gone unless no one wants him. I’ve always felt that JFJ signed him just to shut everyone up who was whining about his poster-boy (Raycroft). I bet you to this day that JFJ is still proud about that signing and considers it his best move (can’t wait for his memoirs).

Bryan McCabe will waive his no-trade clause to go to allow the Panthers to deal him to a contender at the deadline

Admit it, you hadn’t thought of it but you’re already nodding your head, aren’t you?

You’re absolutely right, I never thought of that.

We’ll definitely hear about McCabe, Tucker and Wellwood, and if Wellwood doesn’t flop I’m sure we’ll be hearing about it from both the Toronto media and the asinine Canuckers who think Leaf fans give a shit about their team. Although I am interested in watching how McCabe does without Kabby there force-feeding him the puck regardless of whether he’s aiming for the net or that angry fan high in the stands behind the net who thinks he’s a complete dumbass.

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Oct 8, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions  

I think most people will admit that they never thought about the Panthers benefitting from McCabe waiving his NMC. Fuck. Now I am angry just thinking about it.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 12:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

I've heard different things...

I’ve read in the paper that McCabe refused to waive his no-trade clause at/near the deadline last year.

I’ve also seen McCabe in an interview say that he told Fletcher he would listen to any offers and that he didn’t refuse to waive the clause. At/near the deadline last year, no one wanted him, and Fletch wasn’t able to move him.

What to believe?

Sports And The City

A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...

by eyebleaf on Oct 8, 2008 12:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

I could swear that I heard Fletch say in an offseason interview that there were no takers for McCabe

by Aschendancy on Oct 8, 2008 8:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m tired of Hollweg already…thank goodness the odds of Raycroft putting up boffo numbers are about the same as Ms. McCabe allowing Bryan to be traded anywhere further than Tampa Bay.

A life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...http://bitterleaf.blogspot.com

by mf37 on Oct 8, 2008 12:31 PM EDT reply actions  

Hollweg

Yeah, I want to see more clean hits and less useless fighting…and maybe more dancing.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

More dancing for sure...

I think he’ll calm down. In the last few seasons he fought more in pre-season than in the regular season. Plus, Wilson will tell him to STOP FUCKING AROUND. And he will.

by The Muppet on Oct 8, 2008 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t mind agitators like Tucker, Ruutu or Avery, but I fucking despise Hollweg. He throws a lot of hits from behind and is exactly the kind of chickenshit cheap shot goon that the NHL doesn’t need.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 8, 2008 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

McCabe at least

tried to take people out in an amusing fashion by skating backwards into them while bending down and sticking up his rear end

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Oct 8, 2008 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

bow chicka bow wow

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 8, 2008 1:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Can we all just agree to calling “Kimbo Hollweg” from now on?

Down Goes Brown - Because it's technically possible that things may get better before we all die.

by Down Goes Brown on Oct 8, 2008 1:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Done

I love it.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

I wanted to

make some really bad prison-sex joke too but wasn’t sure where the line is so I held back in case I crossed it

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Oct 8, 2008 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

You’re looking for the Mark Bell thread.

Down Goes Brown - Because it's technically possible that things may get better before we all die.

by Down Goes Brown on Oct 8, 2008 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

You zigged when you wanted to zag.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sorry

Rough day at work

Head’s not entirely on my shoulder today

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Oct 8, 2008 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

I wholeheartedly support prison sex jokes.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 8, 2008 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hollwig

He doesn’t bother me that much, because he can’t really hurt us…can he? i mean so he takes some stupid penalties and we loose….we were gonna loose anyway
He cheap shots someone, then gets his mellon busted in by their enforcer.
Worst case scenario he gets suspended and we have to bring up Robby Earl to take his spot, oh well, developing tallent.
Best case scenario he bounces Heatlys face off the boards and knocks out his bottom teeth.

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 8, 2008 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Good point

But, what if his shenanigans gets one of the good Leafs injured? that’s my worry.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

That

Is what they invented belt sanders for

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 8, 2008 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

While deep down we all know Toskala is somewhat over-rated (if he’s really a top ten goalie how come you can think of 15 guys better than him?)

BAHHAAAAAAAA HAAAAA! I never thought if it that way, but you’re spot on dude!

by The Muppet on Oct 8, 2008 1:03 PM EDT reply actions  

PPP

I sent you something…

by The Muppet on Oct 8, 2008 1:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Got it!

I replied :)

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Oct 8, 2008 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

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