Dear Mats...

I was shocked, shocked, to discover that you and Mike had a little convo the other day. I was confused and upset at your behavior. It's quite obvious you're just doing this to get back at me. You're all "Ooooh, hello there Vancouver Canucks GM. Is that a $20M contract in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" And I'm all "Why do you want to hurt me Mats? Can't you see how you're tearing me apart!?!"

Seriously, whatever. Mats news is big news and I'm beginning to feel like how the Ducks probably felt when they won the Cup. The biggest news of the day then was not their winning, but Ottawa's losing. And...I had a point...

Oh ya, Mats, we love ya. Really, we do. Well, really, we loved ya. But, well, you're kinda old. And, you're kinda indecisive. And, well, I've kinda fallen for someone else. Sure he's not as tall as you, or as skilled with the puck, but his heart's in it, and that's enough for me. I'll keep your jersey Mats, if you'll let me. I probably won't wear it as much as this one but, well, you understand, right?

And if you sign in Vancouver, that's cool, cuz I'll get to see you play more often, and we can hang out more, you know, as friends. And with Welly around to help you get the lay of the buffet, it'll be like a reunion of sorts.

The long distance thing, it wasn't working for me, truth be told. Now that you might be closer, well, it'll be good to see ya, but the blue on your uni, it just won't be right. What I'm saying is, it's not you Mats, it's the Canucks...