Drivel: Vancouver 24 Hours

I was reading the pdf version of the local 24 hours mag (hey, it's municipal election time and I thought I'd get informed) and they have some more gems on the leafs and how bad they "suck"

Read on, if you dare!

Letters to 24Hours:

All season long Iím inconvenienced at my bar by loud,rude Leafs fans cheering at TVs with no sound at inappropriate times. I should say not all of them are like this but the ones who are immune to evolution sure are.I invite Leaffans to watch at 4 p.m. on Saturday at Score (1262 Davie Street) where many true Canucks fans will be watching the game.

 - Jesse Ritchie, Owner/GM,Score on Davie

So in other words, you guys are idiots but come in and spend money at my crappy bar. Thanks, but..

The Toronto Maple Leafs are kind of like that slow underacheiving cousin playing volleyball at the family reunion.We know hes not any good,but we clap because we know he tries really,really,really hard.Canuck fans may be on and off the bandwagon,but at least the bandwagon isn't a rusted 1980 Tercel with a bumper sticker that says "Remember the good ol' days." And we may not have won a Cup yet, but you would need a DeLorean and a flux capacitor to go back to the last time the Leafs won ANYTHING. And in closing there are three things we do with Leafs out on the West Coast. We gather them all up in one big managable mound,and then we set them on fire. And the third thing we do with Leafs? Well,ever been camping and run out of toilet paper? Which is exactly what we are going to do Saturday night.

- T.J.Chase,via e-mail

You jackasses don't clap for the Leafs. You spew hateful emails such as this one. Do you threaten to light your slow cousin on fire or wipe your butt with him too? Weirdo. 

From generation to generation the Leafs have been the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever touched a puck.Tradition dictates that it is the responsibility of every Canadian outside of Ontario to remind them of this legacy.

- Tim Snider,via e-mail

.. Yeah, ok there Timmah 

Journo Blurb Drivel:

 LEAFS IN AUTUMN

The Leafs end a three-game western Canada swing in Vancouver. Former owner Harold Ballard, who tried to bring the NHL to Vancouver in the 1960s, must be spinning in his grave. "Mississauga Matt" Stajan and Dominic "Brother of Steve" Moore are the only two active Canadians in the Leafs' top 10 scoring stats.Flopping Finn netminder Vesa Toskala is backed up by the aging Curtis Joseph.

So the fact that our top scorers are for the most part non-Canadians is a big issue? It's been that way for a while you know, what with our best player for a while being a big swede you douchebags have been slobbering over trying to get for a while now.

Oh, and let's mention the "Brother of Steve" thing. Could you imagine that the Leafs would ever hear the end of it if one of their players stalked another down the ice, pounced on him from behind, nearly crippled him and ended his career? It wouldn't matter if we shot that player into space immediately afterwards, the Leafs would forever be marked as a despicable team of thugs who would beat up grannies.

This is just a quick taste of the mindblowing stupidity and hypocrisy that Leaf fans have to endure living in Vancouver. I can't wait for the aftermath of our civic election, because it is going to result in possibly one of the most dysfunctional city governments in North America. Good times..