FanPost

Wendel Clark facts

As we build towards Wendel Clark Night at the ACC, here are some facts you may not know about the former Leaf...

The CN Tower was not recognized as the world's tallest building until 1985 when Wendel Clark walked by and told it to straighten the fuck up.

Upon the one year anniversary of his death, Harold Ballard was raised from the dead by Satan himself and granted dominion over Hell's infinite army of the eternal undead. However, he chooses to stay in his coffin anyways because he's afraid to make Wendel Clark mad.

The NHL officially considers any goal that makes Wendel Clark angry to be a "sudden death" goal.

Wendel Clark has spawned a bizarre variation of fan fiction in which graphic artists photoshop him into the uniforms of loser teams like the Islanders and Lightning, even though everyone knows he never played for those teams.

The Winnipeg Jets once angered Wendel Clark during a game, then voted as a team to move to Phoenix to "lay low for a few decades".

Midway through his season with the Nordiques, Wendel Clark decided it wasn't fair to the rest of the league to use the full force of his wrist shot, and vowed to only use 95% from now on. He loaned the other 5% to a young fourth line scrub named Joe Sakic, who has yet to return it.

The old Chicago Stadium was never scheduled to be demolished following the 1994 season. However, on his way out after the last game of the season, Wendel Clark slammed a door too hard.

Only one man has ever attempted to reach out and touch Wendel Clark's moustache. That man went on to become the drummer for Def Leppard.

Wendel Clark is the reason that Chuck Norris keeps his ass in the United States.

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