FTB - Move Along...Nothing To Read Here

I fielded a phone call from Moose on Sunday night where over the course of 2 minutes his mood went from "in shock" to "off his ass elated" at the news that his favorite team, the Oilers, just traded Jared Stoll and Matt Greene to the Kings for Lubo Visnovski. The Oilers have been after Visnovski for a long time now and the trade...I'm sorry, this just in...everyone in North America reporting...yes, that Mats Sundin still has not decided if, and/or who he'll play for in the upcoming season. That story, once again...Mats Sundin, totally, completely, undecided.

Who's everyone? Well, this site, your site, TSN, Sportsnet, the entire Sun Media, The Wall Street Journal, Christian Science Monitor, People Espanol. Two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door yesterday and kindly left me with a copy of "The Watchtower" magazine. On the cover, right below where it said, "Why You Need To Prepare For Armageddon NOW!" it said, "Sundin: Where's The Big Swede Gonna Go?"

All of those everyone's seem to have a completely speculative answer (The Watchtower's: AK Bars), and the thing we need to remember is that almost all of them are complete bullshit. I'm not saying he won't end up in Montreal or with the Rangers, or for that matter AK Bars, what I mean is when you read the head guy on that site say that his source heard from "Mats' friends" that he's going to Montreal, that's just bullshit. Watch, I'll prove it. Here's one just as valid: My sources tell me that Mats' brother Tommy likes ice cream with his pie. But my other source tells me that Tommy likes his pie with a slice of cheese! Hey, hey, these are just rumors, people. I'm just telling you what I hear. Look, it's boring, but Sundin is waiting. And waiting. Remember? It was the name of his last album:

Hescoreheshootmatsroses_medium

Great, great, writer Howard Berger bravely waded in to the murky waters himself by informing everyone that his belief was that Mats would sign with Montreal. This was a jesture of solidarity between Berger and the Montreal Limousine and Taxi Drivers Association. Imagine the articles Berger will have after a couple of smoked meats on his way to the Bell Center this year?

Berger: "Just say anything about the Leafs and I'll print it, just like last time".

Limo Driver: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"

Berger: "Pure gold, Jean-Guy!"

After a flurry of activity last week surrounding (former) Leaf players, things have gone quiet...perhaps a little too quiet... The (cup) Boards are spare this morning. Let's see what we got:

  • General B. only encourages Jared of London's obsession with puns with the titular post "Eye of the Tucker". Thankfully he has some great final, final, parting words for out beloved D.T., including an awesome dream of Darc winning the Cup with Les Penguines. 
  • The kindly Navin shows his sensitive side and pays heed to the old adage that if you love something, set it free. Naturally he's talking about Mats and how no matter where Mats goes, Nav will always support and root for him. He also mentions being "tickled" and "Gay Day". So, you know, there's that.
  • Moose continues to see what I go through every single day keeping He Score, He Shoot! up and running. It's basically like "Mr. Mom" over there. Right now, he's at home trying to figure out the washing machine while I'm away on business getting hit on by Martin Mull. Just after he made the grilled cheese sandwich with the iron, he wrote his post about how much he needs and misses me, about Mats (big surprise), the new Tampa Bay Cosa Nostra ownership, and, now that he's been traded to L.A., how much Jared Stoll is  going to get. And he doesn't mean money.

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