FTB - The Breakfast of Champions Edition

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 8:58 AM EST

Editor's Note: If you guys don't e-mail us feedback on our anonymous posters then you're not getting a new daddy/mommy and that just means that your current daddies will be grumpier about all of the work they have to do to keep you brats happy. That means that somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.

Breakfast is essential way to begin your day. In fact, it is advised you have food in the morning by the Royal Bacon Society. I myself happen to love IHOP despite thinking pancakes are vile. I think the comfort in IHOP/breakfast establishments are the giant picture menus and the wide variety of plated meals then I can blindly points at and say "wheat....over easy....orange....thanks." The most entertaining part is when it's time to choose syrup; warmed maple, blueberry, boysenberry, butter pecan, apricot. I do not advise mixing all of them.

Warm Maple Syrup...

MLHS really hopes you don't cry in your Cheerios over the goalie situation.
Try not to pour booze into your morning beverage when reading this rundown by Bitter Leaf.
No really, no nudging the coffee or vodka in the orange juice when you see the sucking in number form.
Tip your waitress and take a gander at the Leafers by the salary numbers.
Count the maple varieties. Or not. Is this joke bad? Probably.
The General (not Tso) examines Sir Fist Pump a Lot. Hash browns extra.
Loser Domi ordered her omelet with wheat toast and h4x0red her way into a goalie chatroom.

The Other Flavors...

The Puck Huffers would probably make some crepes in bed for Matt Cooke, extra whipped cream. Also, enter their contest to win a hilariously awesome hat.
Schultz, waffle enthusiast, found some interesting custom mouth guards. More players should have fake grills, and earn their waffles.
Roshacla doesn't think that grapefruit counts as breakfast. He is more of a Captain Crunch dude. In between bites he took an in depth look at the Devils.
You know they could have just made her breakfast in bed. But the Pens fake celebrate Lori's birthday the the only way they know how. With French Canadian Furbies and booze..

From Chemmy:

Leafs practice with weird shaped nets, Mike Van Ryn fails neurological test.

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Matt Cooke

The only way I’d like to see Matt Cooke in bed was if he had just been pummelled to within an inch of his life. And then only to smack his broken bones.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 8:59 AM EST reply actions

Someone just lost my vote...

http://www.coxbloc.com/2009/01/the_case_against_cherry.html

by Kim Jorn on Jan 21, 2009 9:06 AM EST reply actions

Cherry's

A bit of an enigma… while I’m not exactly a fan of the idea of putting in the Hall of Fame under any category, I don’t hate him either… I can tolerate most of what he utters only because I never take him seriously.

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Jan 21, 2009 9:16 AM EST up reply actions

He should definitely be in the Hall as part of the media category but the push is to get him in as a builder.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 9:21 AM EST up reply actions

Have we been blacklisted from FTB because of the Stevie G comment? At least we didn’t make a Phil Collins joke…

by Kim Jorn on Jan 21, 2009 9:35 AM EST up reply actions

Did he

feel it coming in the air tonight?

"It's not literally a Cradle of Filth - that would be horrible..."

by Mattblack on Jan 21, 2009 9:37 AM EST up reply actions

No

You might get blacklisted for dereliction of your media watchdog duties but in this case the guest FTBer just missed it I guess.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 9:42 AM EST up reply actions

In fact, it is advised you have food in the morning by the Royal Bacon Society

This doesn’t seem so anonymous to me.

by general borschevsky on Jan 21, 2009 9:08 AM EST reply actions

I thought everyone here had a bacon fixation?

"It's not literally a Cradle of Filth - that would be horrible..."

by Mattblack on Jan 21, 2009 9:15 AM EST up reply actions

Well

Most

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Jan 21, 2009 9:16 AM EST up reply actions

ZOMG @ bacon refuseniks.

"It's not literally a Cradle of Filth - that would be horrible..."

by Mattblack on Jan 21, 2009 9:18 AM EST up reply actions

Ditto

Worst thing ever: Any bacon that’s not really bacon (ie Turkey bacon)

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 9:21 AM EST up reply actions

Check Your E-mail

Borschevsky.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 9:22 AM EST up reply actions

Tomas Kaberle bobblehead!

Whoooooh!

Wait a minute… I smell a fix.

by general borschevsky on Jan 21, 2009 9:31 AM EST up reply actions

I'm super-pissed

about Van Ryn. Kostopoulos needs to die.

I was pretty upset. I still am a little bit. It’s frustrating when you think you’re okay and then you’re told you’re not.

Some good quotes in the article by Mr. Hunter.

by general borschevsky on Jan 21, 2009 9:29 AM EST reply actions

The scary thing is that that hit by Lucic didn’t seem that bad but it left him dazed. I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up shuttering him for the season and yet another motherf*%$ing bum gets away with ending someone’s season. Hits like that should result in the offender being out as long as the injured player.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jan 21, 2009 9:34 AM EST up reply actions

But…I heard it was Van Ryn`s fault because he turned into the hit…at least, that is what Cox and that hoser Bob McKenzie told me…

by Kim Jorn on Jan 21, 2009 9:36 AM EST up reply actions

The problem with having an offender sit out as long as an injured player is that come playoff time, teams would no doubt feign injuries to 3rd or 4th line players just to keep out a superstar who may have hit him.

Try really hard and consider this scenario: Some good star player, let’s call him Pris Chronger, elbows a shitty player, say Mean DcAmmond. What is to stop DcAmmond’s team from keeping him out the entire series just so Chronger can’t play? While some may say that that’s the punishment for an elbow (or stomping etc), I just don’t think it’ll happen, especially since headaches can’t really be “proven”.

Another aspect to be considered, is the (lack of) equipment on some of the victims. I’m considering writing a fanpost on this, but we’ll see if my lazy ass ever gets around to it.

by lordosis on Jan 21, 2009 9:47 AM EST up reply actions

Excellent point. Short of appointing an independent medical expert, I don’t see how the NHL could avoid a team, lets say the Sttawa Oenators, manipulating the rules. I do think stiffer penalties and suspensions would be a good start though.

by Kim Jorn on Jan 21, 2009 9:53 AM EST up reply actions