FTB - Regular Programming Resumes
by PPP on Jan 23, 2009 8:10 AM EST
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PrintWe have a break in applicant FTBers today before resuming our search for a new intern on Monday. This All-Star break will give everyone a chance to put together something that's hopefully great on Monday. Since I'm already hired I am mailing this one in. Like Chemmy's approach to the bumping and grinding I am going with quantity of links over quality of jokes:
- While everyone is going down on the Habs on the ocassion of their 99th anniversary Neate Sager tosses on his braces.
- DGB has finally cracked the code about what would make the All-Star weekend actually interesting. You know what I would like? No more stock articles about how to change the weekend or how much it sucks. DGB should be a beacon of creativity for the MSM.
- Dear NHLers and Journalists: you can send any complaints to me via e-mail. Now if the rest of you want to follow Stephen's advice then keep in mind Chemmy has a quick banning trigger. Just ask the Ageless Wonder.
- Gentlemen, get that nubile intern in the inappropriately short skirt in front of the screen before clicking this link. (SFW)
- The ladies from Puck Huffers have a new completely irrational website dedicated to The Vesa.
- Scavenger hunt! Try to find the mathematical error in Steve's last post. The winner gets the satisfaction of knowing that they found a very rare sighting: a Stevian Mistake.
- The General sees three scoring lines for the Leafs. Imagine if they all played well at the same time.
- I knew that Jeff Blair had done a piss-poor job of researching his hatchet job on Toronto.
- DJ tracks the excellent news emanating from the NHL Minister of Information Gary Bettman.
- TSM keeps a close eye on The Star's headline writers.
- You think some of the people here (Chemmy) are weird? Loser Domi uses YouTube to prove you wrong.
- Finally! PLAYOFFS! (Fixed. Finally)
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For the record
I have not watched an All-Star Bore-fest since 2002 or 2003… I would remember the year more accurate had I actually cared. I have tried to catch the skills competition though, but the actual game itself… well the last thing I remember seeing was Jeremy Roenick actually checking someone into the boards and the commentators started gushing all over him for throwing a real body-check in the ASG… I think it was at that point I finally realized the ASG was really nothing more then an exercise in futility.
Anyway, all I knows was the last ASG I watched, they were still doing the whole North America Vs. The World dealy.
But they really need to throw some incentives to make the players actually play in the ASG… sorta like what the MLB did with theirs (I can’t believe I’m actually applauding something the MLB did).
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Apparently the PA wants to make some big event every February which would be awesome except that makes the season end later. If they agree to cut 10 games off of the schedule I think it would be an amazing idea.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
This be
Baseball or hockey we are talking about?
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
NHL
That way each year there is an event each year (Olympics, World Cup of Hockey)
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Interesting
Replace the ASG entirely, I like the sound of that
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Yeah
As much as it’s just meant to be a fun weekend it doesn’t help the league to have non-stop negative coverage about how bad the voting process is or who got snubbed or who is faking an injury or how useless it is so it’ll give the media something different to write about.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Do the other All Star games have these kind of issues, or is it just the hockey one?
"It's not literally a Cradle of Filth - that would be horrible..."
No The others get the same sort of treatment. But going to an all-star game in Baseball isn’t as taxing on the body, you play one or two innings, get 1 or 2 at bats and your done.
The home run derby is usually the hotter topic with some of the big names opting out (see A-Rod).
I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it. - Dogbert
Ditto with basketball
Smaller court, don’t run around as much, NBA ASG is definitely slower then your typical basketball game but basketball isn’t as fast or physical (body checks etc.) as hockey in the first place, so again even when the players tone it down, it’s not nearly as detrimental or noticeable as hockey when the players stop skating or make little different to cover/take their man and of course they don’t throw body checks.
NFL would be the closest to hockey in terms of physicality, but they’re smart enough to mitigate much of it by having their ASG (Pro Bowl) after the season, playoffs and Super Bowl are over.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Bad press
Wouldn’t be an issue if the ASG was actually entertaining to watch, which it is not in its current incarnation. The players won’t push themselves over a meaningless game especially in the middle of a season, no one skates at full speed, no one throws body checks, slapshots are far and few in between, blue liners don’t play defense, goalies make half-hearted Raycroftian/Toskalicious attempts at stopping the puck etc etc.
Again maybe the league needs to take a page from other league’s ASGs… like MLB making the ASG matter such that whichever league wins gets home-field advantage for the World Series, or the NFL who has their ASG (Pro Bowl) after the Super Bowl so players can go a little harder and not worry about tiring/injurying themselves in the middle of a season.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
All-Star Games are meaningless in every sport except baseball because that’s the only one that doesn’t require a change in approach by the players. Although, giving a shitty team home field because some random players won is stupid. Bud Selig is almost a dumber commish than Bettman. All he had to change was the rules for the use of pitchers in an ASG and his problem would be solved.
And the Pro-Bowl is a dumb thing too because there is no blitzing or real hitting there either.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Agreed
Even when trying to spice up the all-star game with that stupid home field advantage rule it comes off weak.
The managers aren’t trying their hardest to win since they are moving people in an out of the lineup every inning after the second.
If they were in it to win and it was serious the best lineup would be out there for the entire game.
I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it. - Dogbert
Change the channel
It’s the all-star weekend in MTL and the glorious fucking Habs now occupy every inch of my life. From the little flags on cars, to the newpapers,T.V., and the special kiosks in retail stores selling commemorative bullshit. My only refuge is my home, and friends with smaller TV’s are calling me to watch the Habs hubabaloo on mine. In solidarity with my weekend in Habs hell, and in the interest of passing another saturday night without our very own le bleu royal et blanc, (les gloribleus or les feuilles benites works too) in full suck I suggest you all watch the crashed ice race – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4os2ufb5EuE – though many montrealers have not yet realized it, other events and other cities exist within driving distance.
My mind’s eye will be replacing the obstacles on the course with the faces of the 99 year old demon spawn
by blue with age on Jan 23, 2009 9:54 AM EST up reply actions
Crashed ice
My uni is offering a bus going up there tomorrow. I would love to go except I go on that night :(
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
Considering these arguments
Would anyone miss ASG’s if they were eliminated entirely?
I for one have not watched the NHL’s ASG for the past 5 or 6 years, the skills competition I usually catch, but not the game itself.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Same
I flip around because it’s on Sunday night when nothing else is on but if they replaced it completely it would be great because idiots wouldn’t use All-Star Game appearances as a crutch when debating players and it could give the league a competitive event.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Haha
Yea, so and so has been in 5 ASGs… therefore he is AWESOMER.
Seriously, its mostly a popularity contest and the whole voting thing is just for show, like high school council elections… it doesn’t matter what you promise or what kind of campaign you run, the most popular kid will always get voted in.
And the rule with one player from every team… what the hell is that? That’s like the stupid ass “Student of the Week” awards that every class handed out in my elementary school… EVERYBODY wins it at least once… pity awards are the dumbest invention since the car alarm
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Oh yeah and the NHL looks so stupid touting voting records when we all know it’s because of virgin Montreal fans and their robots.
Also, I agree on pity awards. If you suck, you suck. No All-Stars for you!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I still want to know why Kovalev is the Captain of the East, he isn’t even Captain of the cheap squad he calls his NHL team
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 10:08 AM EST up reply actions
I was wondering the same thing.
I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it. - Dogbert
My guess is that those who named him captain get a cut of the sales of his magnificent Kovi, worship me and I will make an effort when I feel like it DVDs
by blue with age on Jan 23, 2009 10:14 AM EST up reply actions
hahaha
Maybe he’s just had the most appearances because otherwise it doesn’t make sense.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
but then Thornton for the west? wouldnt Neids or Modano (lindsrtrom if he wasn’t ’injured’) be captian then?
I just think its more Montreal sucking up
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 10:26 AM EST up reply actions
I just think its more Montreal sucking up
Can they physically suck up anymore?
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Yes, that’s why their heads are so big
by blue with age on Jan 23, 2009 10:31 AM EST up reply actions
I hate them so much more now than I ever did before.
And thats saying a lot
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 10:31 AM EST up reply actions
the options are fairly limited after that.
i’m assuming the captain, for whatever reason, must be a starter. With Junk Puncher sitting this one out (again) not sure there’s much else to choose from…
"We’re looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Jan 23, 2009 10:32 AM EST up reply actions
If Thornton was a starter, then I’d agree on that, but he’s not.
Better Captian options, Lecavalier, Carter, Savard, Ovechkin, Vanek, and Chara
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 10:34 AM EST up reply actions
Chara
Should get a nod, I can tolerate him now that he’s not a Sens
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Ovie’s the man. But in the interests of winding up Grabs even tighter than he is now, I like the idea of the tits brother being named captain
by blue with age on Jan 23, 2009 10:37 AM EST up reply actions
Grabbo would hop the boards mid game and gut him center ice
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
that’s one way to improve the game right there!
"We’re looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Jan 23, 2009 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
Yessir, then put him on a spit and stuff his mouth with a nice pineapple
by blue with age on Jan 23, 2009 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
ooops...
guess i should have checked the rosters then…
silly me, thinking there’s a method or logic to their captain selection.
"We’re looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Jan 23, 2009 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
uh...
the last montreal game I saw, he was wearing the C… and I’ve seen him with it even when Koivu is in the lineup.
by Karina on Jan 23, 2009 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
Irrrrrrrational
I don’t get it. Is Vesa a scared kitten or a stud? Can he be both?
by general borschevsky on Jan 23, 2009 8:35 AM EST reply actions
Yar.
Ain't nothing but puck drops and poke checks, babydoll.
by Wrap Around Curl on Jan 23, 2009 12:19 PM EST up reply actions
I am going with quantity of links over quality of jokes
Links so good, the last two are the same one!
/embittered
"It's not literally a Cradle of Filth - that would be horrible..."
I save all of my jokes for the NNN.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Not Fixed!
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 23, 2009 9:15 AM EST up reply actions
Is tonight
the skills comp?
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
Maybe I should include mistakes in every posting?
Stefanovich is talented enough to be a first rounder… I was writing it late at night… I too have the Winter Blahs… etc. Excuses are soft. I messed up. C’est La Vie.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
It was a fun game that no one posted the answer!
I think it was a mistake. You wrote that they had 1 win in 13 games and posted a 1-10-3 record.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Of course... that was the LAST posting... so that's two in a row
darn.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
we still love you steve-o
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
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