How to Be a Leafs Fan - A Step by Step Guide
by blurr1974 on Oct 20, 2009 5:15 AM EDT
in From The Branches
62 comments
We here at Pension Plan Puppets Amalgamated Industries and Pillow Fluffing Inc. LLC, take our jobs as Leaf fans seriously. So, when it occurred to the movers and shakers of PPPAI&PF Inc. LLC that there was no manual on how to be a Leaf fan, we tackled the project with gusto. After a nap, and six weeks in Acapulco. We just attacked it.
After thorough analysis, in depth interviews with lifers, and careful observation, we at PPPAI&PL Inc. LLC present to you, step by step, how to be a Leafs fan.
Step 1:
- Dr. Steve is still pining for Nathan Horton. Can't say I blame him...
- TSM has heard from Brian Burke, and it all sounds good. The question now is, what does he do?
- As the saying goes, just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you. The general gives you proof of concept with photographic evidence that will rock your world, and the hair follicles on your upper lip.
- A (painful) day in the life of Mike Van Ryn.
- Jared is writing a letter. Is it to you? No, not you, the other guy.
- Bloge Salming has a copy of the rejected CBC opening night promo.
- Leafs247 doesn't see anyone fit to wear the 'C' for the Leafs, and gives you a great example of what leaders can do for a team.
- Truculence is Everything takes some Leaf "fans" to task.
- TML Fan Fury points the finger of blame in the defense's general direction...
- Frozen Leafs wonders when the Leafs are going to start doing what they get paid to do. That is, play hokey.
- Hockey'sFuture gives a review of the Leafs organizational depth, position by position. You'll never guess where the Leafs are thinnest...
- Not alone in our dire straights, Habs fans are feeling the pain of unfulfilled expectations to start the season. The difference being, Habs fans can't get off the bandwagon fast enough.
- Leaf and Lion likes that fans don't have the choice to tank.
- Canadian vs. the Yank likes the odds of the Leafs winning a game on their upcoming road trip. Time to mortgage the house and put it all on blue baby!
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The captaincy of the Leafs
the only players who would even be remotely close is White or Orr, and they’re not even in consideration range. We need to just sit tight and not rush it, even if it takes another year. I would rather Schenn, Kadri, or Kessel get it when one of them shows they are ready and can handle the responsibility. Remember this isn’t a title to be just given away, like the prime minister of Canada
40 years we've stayed loyal, waited, and pained. That is the honor of being a Leafs' fan.
by Kriv on Oct 20, 2009 6:42 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
There are a lot of things I don’t understand about Leaf fans, but right near the top has to be the obsession with the captaincy.
I’m with you Kriv, wait until there’s someone on the team that’s ready, deserving and can handle it. Arbitrarily sewinga C on someone’s jersey isn’t going to magically change the fact that this team is being crushed by sub-par goaltending, terrible special teams play and a very weak group of forwards.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
by mf37 on Oct 20, 2009 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That…is correct.
If we are questioning who should be captain, to me that’s a sign that the team has noone that deserves it. If you look at teams like Detroit, Anaheim, Chicago, Calgary, Pittsburgh, or Phoenix you know instantly who the captain is without having to see the “C” on their chest. Those guys are the obvious leaders for their teams, and the C on their chest is just a formality.
Toronto currently lacks such a player, and naming someone the captain at this point would be a farce.
The Skinny Fishbowl - Random Musings of a Hockey Fan
by SkinnyFish on Oct 20, 2009 11:07 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
this
I also think slapping a C on someone just to “give the team a face” would be detrimental. You are pretty much saying that things arnt earned, but are given by popular vote.
not a message i want given to this team
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 11:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, no captain.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
1988 Baltimore Orioles
Started the season 0-21. That is equivalent to 0-11 for a hockey team, with no prospect of points for losing in OT or SO.
It could indeed be much worse.
"While there's life, there's hope." --Cicero
by Baroque on Oct 20, 2009 7:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Realistically, for the poll, it requires all of the above.
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 20, 2009 7:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
realistically
“Love” is all of the below…
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Oct 20, 2009 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
All you need is love, baby.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don’t give up……Don’t ever give up
- Jim Valvano
by birky on Oct 20, 2009 8:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, but he said that right before he died from cancer. Quitter.
The Skinny Fishbowl - Random Musings of a Hockey Fan
by SkinnyFish on Oct 20, 2009 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
never gonna give you up!
never gonna let you ddoooooown
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 10:50 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh, and this:
From Lance Hornby via Kukla’s Korner:
According to the Elias Sports Bureau, since the start of conference play in the NHL in 1993-94, only five teams have won once or less in their first 10 games and still made the playoffs, two of those coached by Wilson.
His 2003-04 San Jose Sharks and 1996-97 Anaheim Mighty Ducks both faltered at the start with just one win, but Wilson took the Sharks to the Conference championship, while Paul Kariya came back after their slump to help Wilson and the team make the playoffs for the first time in Ducks’ history.
by birky on Oct 20, 2009 8:44 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Kessel = Kariya ?
The Skinny Fishbowl - Random Musings of a Hockey Fan
by SkinnyFish on Oct 20, 2009 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kesriya!
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 9:11 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That sounds like a venereal disease.
The Skinny Fishbowl - Random Musings of a Hockey Fan
by SkinnyFish on Oct 20, 2009 9:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Karissel?
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That there sounds like a name that Snoop Dogg would give to Kariya. :)
The home of truculent opinions about the Maple Leafs. Now With 100% More Inspirational Quotes!.
"We Blog, We Caption, We Care."
by Kavel Pubina on Oct 20, 2009 9:33 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
fo shizzle, Karissel be scoren goals that be off the hizzel
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 9:35 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Blog
http://leafandlion.blogspot.com/2009/10/tank-schmank.html
Hey guys. Just wrote a blog. Link would be great. Thanks!
by leafandlion on Oct 20, 2009 9:20 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Tank will rip the skin off your back.
T-a-n-k takin’ all your dreams away.
Your mother doesn’t love you.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 10:01 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd also like to point out....
that the 8th spot in the East is currently held by Philly with 7 point. So all the Leafs need is 6 points to catch up.
by birky on Oct 20, 2009 10:02 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
baby steps, lets get 4 and pass montreal first
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’d like to point out that at least we don’t have zero points like we did in the offseason.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 10:06 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wait, we completed the acquisition of a pillow fluffing company? Thank god my pillow is lumpy as shit.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 10:08 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
PPP : Now excepting resumes for a fluffer position
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 10:11 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, SOMEBODY should go home happy.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Oct 20, 2009 10:14 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd like to apply
This is the only job where your image doesn’t affect your chances of getting in
Space Weed Says Now Endorsed by Tyler Bozak
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding
by Space Weed on Oct 20, 2009 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have trouble getting up “in the morning” if my “pillow” fluffer isn’t attractive. Sorry.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 10:17 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have no problem seeing Chemmy as a professional fluffer. An excellent “expansion” to PPP Amalgamated.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Underexploited joke avenue: Lady Gaga + “Finkle is Einhorn”.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Oct 20, 2009 10:19 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That so-called Hab fan off the bandwagon is so stupid it’s hilarious. First of all, he’s not even really a Hab fan, he claims to be above all a Sabres fan. So not only is he committing team bigamy, but he’s doing it within the division. Just brutal.
Being a Leaf fan here requires one to be sufficiently lubricated... and truculent!
by stucky on Oct 20, 2009 11:22 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
i love his bitching about “these arnt the classy habs i fell in love with”
It may just be biased, but I cant remember the Habs every being classy
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Oct 20, 2009 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I immediately was enthralled. I was impressed with the team’s history and I could easily sense a feeling of dignity, almost royalty, stemming from this hockey club. I admired the team’s fanbase, and how passionate they were about this team.
I expected the same Canadiens hockey that I had watched the previous year. Good, classy hockey from the NHL’s most respected and elite franchise.
I want my old Habs back. The ones that played with a dignified air, that I perceived as classy.
I hope this kid is a abnormal psych major, because he’s got one massive example of denial going on in that pretty little head of his.
This has been a shortened version of MBA.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That Hab fan is so stupid it’s hilarious.
fixed.
by birky on Oct 20, 2009 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
At least the Leafs have won a game...
in a fictional universe. Didn’t anyone watch HIMYM last night? The leafs beat Edmonton in OT on a five-hole shot by Beauchemin.
I'm not even supposed to be here today..!
by Shield on Oct 20, 2009 11:24 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
yeah i saw it
but that episode made me overly patriotic i was actually getting annoyed at the Canada-bashing
Jesus didn’t need a brother to be great. Neither does Luke Schenn.
by kessticle on Oct 20, 2009 11:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Saw that
And then ran to check when the Leafs play the Oilers…
December 30th.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 20, 2009 12:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
i can't see Dr Steve's blog?
also on an unrelated note, by this afternoon I will be known as Kessticle, not Tree1Heatley0. thanks for voting! :)
Jesus didn’t need a brother to be great. Neither does Luke Schenn.
by kessticle on Oct 20, 2009 11:32 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
It turns on and off for some of us for some reason, Kessticle. I haven’t seen it for a few weeks now. No one can definitively figure out why.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I had a dream
last night that the Leafs won. It was a really close game, nail biter, and Stajan scored in the last two minutes to break a tie in the game and give us the win. Now if I could remember who it was against, we could see if my dreams are prophetic
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Oct 20, 2009 11:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Keep it vague – then it can apply to any game that fits.
PROPHECY!!!1 :)
Leaf, the universe and everything.
by 1967ers on Oct 20, 2009 11:45 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
at least the canucks are sucking balls as well, i think we have a good shot at a win
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Oct 20, 2009 11:45 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Hello PPPPP (last 2 Ps are for Party People), thanks for voting on my new username! this is my first post as kessticle!
Jesus didn’t need a brother to be great. Neither does Luke Schenn.
by kessticle on Oct 20, 2009 12:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
So glad you had the balls to change your username.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
So glad you had the ballsto change your username.
Fixed
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Oct 20, 2009 7:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Here’s one; http://canadavsyank.blogspot.com/2009/10/reasons-why-leafs-cant-lose.html
As per new community rules; all signature tags on PPP must contain the word "truculent".
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
by wrap around curl on Oct 20, 2009 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
added
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Oct 20, 2009 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Horton!
Yessssssssss.. One of those players I’ve liked for a long time for inexplicable reasons, I think it was due to some success with him in a fantasy hockey pool a while back.
Yessssssssss.. One of those players I’ve liked for a long time for inexplicable reasons, I think it was due to some success with him in a fantasy hockey pool a while back.Anyway, make it so.
by LeafFanInVan on Oct 20, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
HEY BUDDY!
Yeah, Horton, despite looking funny, would be a good addition.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 20, 2009 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
He’s not too bad durability wise either. The team just needs some big strong guys who are actual top 6 forwards to push out the creampuffs. If I have to watch another game where the only forward with skill who drives the net hard is the twiggy Grabovski I’m going to freak the hell out.
by LeafFanInVan on Oct 20, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah
I wonder how many times Hanson has to do it for the Marlies before they bring him up to terrorise goalies.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Oct 20, 2009 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ok, I have a big problem with the poll. Being a bit of an expert on the meta-physical importance of love, if you don’t love the Leafs first-
1. Why are you here?
2. Isn’t the only reason that your stores of all the other answers are being tested is because you love this team so much? Or are you into pointless self-flagellation? (Chemmy don’t answer that)
3. Love is what keeps truly worthy unions together through thick and thin, not patience or anything else. If it’s insanity, then sooner or later Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman are going to be called to your domicile to view the crime scene.
4. If it’s not love, how far are you from being the same as a Habs or Snes fan? Take your pick from delusion, teenage crushiness or fickleness here.
I call that the poll be reset.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Oct 20, 2009 2:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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