"Kif, show them the medal I won."

by Chemmy on Oct 27, 2009 12:01 PM EDT in Negative Nancy Notebook Comment 65 comments

Kif and Zap

This is going to be short, we're going to hold off on swagger until the Leafs prove that they can play for real, but reading this quote all I could think about was Futurama.

Just how low can a hockey team go?

If you are the Ducks, you hope you've hit rock bottom after an embarrassing 6-3 loss to the sad-sack Toronto Maple Leafs, who came into Honda Center the NHL's only remaining winless team Monday night. - OC Register

Zap Brannigan: "Kif, what's the most humiliating job you can think of?"

Kif: *sighs* "Being your assistant."

Zap Brannigan: "Wrong. Being your assistant!"

What's worse than being the Toronto Maple Leafs right now? Being any team that loses to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The Ducks played fantastic hockey before the Leafs arrived in town having lost three games in a row, at home, before getting smoked by the blue and white. So sure the Leafs looked bad before they played in Anaheim but they were showing signs of waking from their slumber and the alarm clock went off just as Jonas Gustavsson came back.

Let's just hope the squad can build on this; they got a lot of lucky breaks last night which was bound to happen given the start of this season.

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Team looked different in front of Jonas, and for once a Toronto Goaltender actually looked large in the net.

Long Live the Monster

Life as a Toronto Sports Fan?... *sigh*... It is what it is...

by JohnnyG on Oct 27, 2009 12:05 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

It’s funny because I seem to remember that back in the day of Felix the cat and cujo that the goalie was carrying the whole team on his back. We figured that if Cujo could score they could send the rest home.

by not_Chemmy on Oct 27, 2009 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

PLAYOFFS!!!1

I’m a believer

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I believe! October’s the month when Monsters are born!

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 27, 2009 12:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The haters can bite my shiny metal ass

Resident Capologist

by clrkaitken on Oct 27, 2009 12:09 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Branigan's law is like Braingan's love

fast and hard

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

care for a glass of cham-pag-en?

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I’m sleeping in
Zapp: You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced three meters in the air, then he bounced 1.8 meters in the air, then he bounced four meters in the air. Do I make myself clear?

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Kif, I have made it with a woman.

Inform the men.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I suffer from a very sexy learning disability, what do i call it kiff?

sexlexia

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 12:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I find that the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 27, 2009 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If we can hit that bull’s-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards…Checkmate.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 27, 2009 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The quickest way to a girl’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you’re in.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Our people tell the same story.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Oct 27, 2009 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

a favorite of me and my buddies

is a Zoidberg line:

“No world, you put YOUR hands up.”

that show is full of winning random quotes…

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Morbo needs more respect!

Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will destroy you!

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 27, 2009 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

She’s a beautiful ship alright. Shapely, seductive. I’m gonna fly her brains out!

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If for any reason you’re not completely satisfied, I hate you.

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

for the Futurama fans

http://twitter.com/futuramaquotes

also:

Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:50 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

THANK YOU

You know where I'm from.

by Archimedies on Oct 27, 2009 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

5. Bite
4. My
3. Shiny
2. Daffodil
1. Ass

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Oct 27, 2009 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

finally got some bounces going our way… now, with confidence, we won’t have all those own-goals /stares hard at Komisarek

"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky

by Karina on Oct 27, 2009 12:14 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The Ducks played like the Leafs two weeks ago. But the Leafs played well, despite the fact that most of the goals were on the PP. Hey, that’s how you win in this league: with a good PP and good goaltending. Nothing wrong with that. Imagine having Kessel as a weapon as well.

The Leafs have played well against two good teams (NYR and VAN) and lost, and played well enough to beat a medium team (MTL) and lost in OT. The game against Ottawa was awful. The rest of the games have been poor efforts against really good teams. It’s all about bounces. We finally got some. That’s what happens when you play hard.

Now that we have a groove on (last three games have been good efforts) and a good goalie going, we should be able to beat the medium teams, and start stealing a point or two from the good teams. 4-5 points out of the next three games is a reasonable expectation. As long as we don’t lose to Montreal again. Seriously.

by Leaf in Habland on Oct 27, 2009 12:14 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

We need rest...

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 12:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

and what shall i do with the jergens?
give it some homeless person with dry elbows

Go Houston Rockets!

by Duster on Oct 27, 2009 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You win again, Gravity!

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Oct 27, 2009 6:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Congrats again … was fun hanging out here watching you guys get your first win … against the Ducks no less … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)

by ang6666 on Oct 27, 2009 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

We are a fun bunch, if not slightly crazy.

leaf fan stuck in ottawa, still. Now truculently rebranded!

by stucky on Oct 27, 2009 12:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

We are a fun bunch, if not completey crazy.

by not_Chemmy on Oct 27, 2009 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wanna read what Roenick had to say about the Leafs win?

http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/postedsports/archive/2009/10/27/roenick-thinks-referees-gift-wrapped-leafs-first-win.aspx

Apparently the Refs wanted the leafs to win. What a jackass. Maybe he didnt see the phantom goal that was let in to put the leafs down 1-0 and the fact that Anaheim was initiating most of thier penalties. Not to mention all the crap calls that have been made against the leafs this season. The refs love us dont they. Jackass

Toronto Maple Leafs: Bringin' The Pain Since 2009

by LeafFan1989 on Oct 27, 2009 1:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

fuck jr,

ill never forgive him for that OT winner in ’04

There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

by Matt_Roberts on Oct 27, 2009 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

every time someone mentions that, it’s like a dagger in my heart

"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky

by Karina on Oct 27, 2009 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

It also completely overshadowed the comical fact that Sami Kapanen fell down and he couldn’t get up.

by FiftyMissionCap on Oct 27, 2009 1:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

that hit is still my favorite of all time

There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

by Matt_Roberts on Oct 27, 2009 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

THIS JUST IN!

Nobody cares about JR.

by PassivelyTruculent on Oct 27, 2009 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Tell that to Michael Landsberg’s erection whenever he’s on OTR.

by Shield on Oct 27, 2009 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

seriously

There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

by Matt_Roberts on Oct 27, 2009 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

is he from vancouver?

All In Balls Out, Since 1983

by JaredFromLondon on Oct 27, 2009 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Didn’t he play in Philly?

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Oct 27, 2009 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Whatever

Anyone could make the case the Leafs should have won that game (or taken it past regulation) against Ottawa. But, of course, JR wouldn’t mention that.

by FiftyMissionCap on Oct 27, 2009 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

uh … I wouldn’t say that … (loves JR) … :)

but don’t let him cloud your victory … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)

by ang6666 on Oct 27, 2009 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Jeremy Roenick has admitted to having at least 11 concussions in his career:

Concussion Symptoms

* Loss of consciousness after any trauma to the head

Confusion
Headache
Nausea or vomiting
Blurred vision
Loss of short-term memory (you may not remember the actual injury and the events some time before or after the impact)
Perseverating (repeating the same thing over and over, despite being told the answer each time, for example, “Was I in an accident?”)

"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...

by blurr1974 on Oct 27, 2009 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Random kind of Off topic question

How could an expansion draft work in the Cap system? Every team would just leave guys with overvalued contracts unprotected (Blake, Finger, Brian Campbell) … would there be a cap for the players a team could leave unprotected?

by Shield on Oct 27, 2009 1:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

remember the new team needs to reach the salary floor, so it would likely take gambits on some big contracts just to meet it…

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Oct 27, 2009 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Over-inflated contract or not, Brian Campbell would still be much better than most defenceman on an expansion team.

Resident Capologist

by clrkaitken on Oct 27, 2009 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I guess, it would be cool if there was an expansion and we could rid ourselves of some of our extras. Toskala and Blake would probably get taken if we left them.

I think it would just add another element, as we would actually be getting something (cap space) in return for giving up players.

by Shield on Oct 27, 2009 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs