ESPN's John Buccigross on Brian Burke's Acceptance of His Son
From ESPN: How one of hockey's toughest men accepted his son's courageous admission
Someone tweeted this earlier, and I've been reading it ever since. When you get a few extra minutes, take the time getting better acquainted with Leafs' GM Brian Burke's family side.
9 months ago
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“I hope the day comes, and soon, when this is not a story.” — Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke
Key quote right there. Great story.
by Leaf in Habland on Nov 24, 2009 3:13 PM EST reply actions
But it’s right at the top, and the rest of it is so heartwarming!
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 3:34 PM EST up reply actions
I agree with Burke
Hopefully things like this will not be newsworthy, and soon.
Sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with anything outside of a person’s personal life.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Nov 24, 2009 3:14 PM EST reply actions
WAY TO GO BURKES
A wonderful story. I may not agree with everything he does, but I am damn proud that he’s running my team.
by Godd Till on Nov 24, 2009 3:22 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
This.
…but this accepting and tolerant Burke is playing havoc with the “angry Irish overlord” image. Briefly :)
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
I think it’s good that the son of a hardass came out of the closet and said hardass said “who cares you’re my son and nothing changed”.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Nov 24, 2009 3:55 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
agreed, Brian is, by all accounts, an excellent human being and a great father. good for the both of them, im proud of the burkes
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Nov 24, 2009 3:56 PM EST up reply actions
jesus Brendan looks like his Dad!
good for Burkie. good to know that his son’s sexual orientation didn’t land him in Burkie’s doghouse. especially liked that part about Brian inviting his son to join him at the Toronto Gay Pride Parade. that’s a big deal and a very supportive parental move.
Makes me even more proud to be a Leafs fan.
Is that the kid you want?
by kessticle on Nov 24, 2009 3:26 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Meh
Gay or straight, I just wish everyone would keep their sexual preferences to themselves. No need to celebrate how you fornicate.
by Johnny Bower's Pokecheck on Nov 24, 2009 3:33 PM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
i disagree with you. if you’re gay, you need to acknowledge that to those around you. otherwise you’re hiding your whole life in fear of getting outed.
having played hockey (just like most of the ppl on this site) for 20 years, I can tell you that I never played hockey with a single person who was out of the closet. why is that? do you think it’s because they “kept it to themselves”? or do you think it’s because they lived in fear of being ostracized for their sexual preferences?
Brendan isn’t celebrating his fornication, he’s pioneering for others down the road to be open about their sexuality. there’s a difference between “celebrating” and “not having to lie”
Is that the kid you want?
by kessticle on Nov 24, 2009 3:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
There was a goalie on my college team who was openly gay. It was not a big deal.
Some of the guys on the team even went with him to a gay bar on a trip one time so he wouldn’t have to go by himself.
by birky on Nov 24, 2009 3:42 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Right, but kessticle’s point (I think) is that it’s better to have that situation than for everyone to just “not celebrate” or whatever don’t-ask-don’t-tell thing jbp wants.
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by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
wicked. i hope that happens more and more often. still, with the number of guys you played hockey with, wouldn’t you expect there to be a greater number of out-of-the-closet gay men? i certainly would think there’d be at least a half dozen, if not more. I haven’t heard of any.
If Johnny Bower’s Pokecheck meant that it’d be great as a society if nobody cared about sexuality, as is the policy the Miami (Ohio) and Maple Leafs organizations , and that being gay or straight was no big deal, then i agree with him.
If he’s saying it should be private matter entierly, then even though I may agree that that’s great as an ideal, it’ll never happen, at least not in the foreseeable future. I have gay friends that have come out and though most ppl don’t care, they still have battles to fight.
Is that the kid you want?
It’s funny, no one ever complains about the billions of instances of all us heteros celebrating how we fornicate.
I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.
by kidkawartha on Nov 24, 2009 3:46 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
im still waiting for a straight pride parade (just a joke)
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Nov 24, 2009 3:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
TWSS?
…ah, just joshin’ ya.
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
by jrwendelman on Nov 24, 2009 3:50 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously? You’ve never had to listen to lengthy rants about public displays of (heterosexual) affection, or complaints about somebody discussing a hook-up? Gays have been the unfortunate recipients of a lot of other, much more severely detrimental intolerances, but annoyance over sexual showmanship has been striking everybody forever. There are definitely homophobes who will use the showiness as a vessel for for attacking the sexuality, but that doesn’t make everyone who dislikes sexual flaunting a homophobe. Prudishness and homophobia are separate issues that overlap in certain individuals, and exist independently in others.
For the record, I think everyone should flaunt everything all the time. When I rule the world, I’m banning pants.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 7:20 PM EST up reply actions
Sure, but you know the point I’m making here, puck. For the record, nowhere in that article is there anything about “in your face” celebrating. It’s about a human who is finally able to truly be himself with his family and his peers.
I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.
Sure, but you know the point I’m making here
You overestimate me. If you meant something other than that people don’t complain about straights who “celebrate” their sexuality, which I would say is an incorrect observation, I missed it.
I definitely don’t disagree that there are a lot of stupid social obstacles between a gay person and total public personal honesty, which is more the focus of the article, but it wasn’t what I was responding to.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 7:50 PM EST up reply actions
The difference between public complaints re: gay and straight sexual celebration is kind of like the difference between Mt. Everest and the 100 foot slide out my back door. We don’t even notice the vast, vast majority of it because it’s OUR celebration. Probably 1/2 to 3/4 of all pop music does exactly that. And we certainly aren’t in much of a habit of the ultimate complaint, which is making said celebrations illegal.
Why bother having a “Straight Pride Parade”? Because our entire culture is based on it, that’s why.
I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.
I think we’re really just having a very insignificant disagreement on which category certain complaints fall into.
Someone sees two men making out in public and thinks they should keep it to themselves: I count as an unfortunate reaction to PDA, which is in no way unique to gays.
Someone sees two men making out in public and thinks they should keep it to themselves because they’re both men, I count as an unfortunate reaction to their gayness, on which I don’t disagree with any of what you’re saying.
I also don’t think it’s wise to automatically assume that any time someone says “they should keep it to themselves,” they’re also thinking “because they’re both men.” Some are, some aren’t. Usually tough to tell, and irresponsible to guess.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 8:27 PM EST up reply actions
Almost as much as you hate turning your neck in another direction?
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 8:34 PM EST up reply actions
I don’t get why two people have to sloopily make out in the middle of somewhere. A kiss is fine but making out in public is just ridic.
So? Don’t look.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 8:38 PM EST up reply actions
I just shout ‘Get a room’
That’s usually good for a few dirty looks and a stoppage to unnecessary public dry-humping
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Nov 25, 2009 4:37 PM EST up reply actions
TELL HER YOU LOVE HER!
Puns, Innuendo and Bad Spelling, Yes We Got That
by JaredFromLondon on Nov 25, 2009 4:42 PM EST up reply actions
When there’s no discrimination based on sexual preferences then that’s a good idea.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
No need to celebrate
I agree 100% JBP. I don’t see any need for people to proclaim their sexual preference to the world. If such a thing as the Straight Pride Parade ever comes into existence you can bet I won’t be participating.
-Graham-
by CanadianMaple09 on Nov 24, 2009 8:32 PM EST up reply actions
Nobody ever beat you up for being straight
You never said in public that you liked a girl (assuming you’re a dude)? You never went to a movie and enjoyed the love plot? You never flirted with a stranger in a restaurant or library or supermarket or street corner?
Cos if you’ve done any of those things, you’ve proclaimed your sexual preference to the world. And if you felt you could never do any of those things without running the risk of friends dropping you, and strangers beating on you, then you don’t know what it’s like to be unable to celebrate your sexual preference. Note, there’s a difference between “would choose to” and “are able to”. Only one of them allows for you the freedom to make a choice. And if you don’t have freedom, what do you have?
and the Mustache of Truculence (formerly Canada4Mizzou)
by Wan Ihite on Dec 2, 2009 7:50 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I think the point of the article is being missed and it’s melting into an argument that can be taken elsewhere.
As per new community rules; all signature tags on PPP must contain the word "truculent".
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
by wrap around curl on Nov 24, 2009 8:44 PM EST up reply actions
Belak
Burke isn’t the first member of the Leafs organization to publicly display this kind of progressive spirit:
http://www.coxbloc.com/2007/12/jorns_jottings_iii_the_jorn_ul.html
Near the bottom. I miss Wade.
Can’t wait to read this when I get home.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
And now that I have read it, I’m glad I did.
The Burkes and the people at the University of Miami Ohio have shown that, as good as they are as hockey players, coaches or managers, they are even better as people.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
A wonderful article.
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Nov 24, 2009 4:43 PM EST reply actions
I wouldn’t expect anything less from Brian Burke. I think he is an amazing man and it’s wonderful that he is accepting of his son. What a fine display of being not only progressive, but what a father should be: loving and supportive. Some may think that this is a matter that should be private, but I absolutely applaud Brendan’s willingness to be open with his sexual orientation. Especially given the supremely rough and tumble reputation of sports and the response to homosexuals, it is refreshing that there is this story of hope.
The slurs and the gender put downs just kill and it’d be nice to move beyond that.
As per new community rules; all signature tags on PPP must contain the word "truculent".
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
by wrap around curl on Nov 24, 2009 6:13 PM EST reply actions 7 recs
well said, and I’m glad the piece was reposted. I’m fairly new to reading and writing sports blogs and a lot of the sex/gender insults I see out there get in the way of my enjoyment of sports (I spend a lot of time on PPP because it’s rare here).
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a gay man in sports; as stated by many other commenters I look forward to when this doesn’t have to be newsworthy anymore.
a little chippy: hockey, mostly
"if you don't watch the violence, you'll never get desensitized to it!"
Yeah it’s pretty rare here because we’re all scared to death of Mabel.
In seriousness, Brian Burke is the least surprising sports figure who would fully support a gay or lesbian child.
I’d like to think it’s rare here because this isn’t a hateful place. Unless you’re a habs or sens fan, I suppose.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 9:09 PM EST up reply actions
Come back after you guys pick Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin ;)
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I will. Oh, I will.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 9:30 PM EST up reply actions
nah, the bruins will draft cam fowler
Puns, Innuendo and Bad Spelling, Yes We Got That
by JaredFromLondon on Nov 24, 2009 9:31 PM EST up reply actions
I’d like to think we have reasonably good scouting.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 9:34 PM EST up reply actions
My original point still stands, you guys would only hate me because we have your first (overall?) round pick, not for some stupid reason like race or gender or orientation or what-have-you.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 9:35 PM EST up reply actions
I hate you cause you’re so pretty
Puns, Innuendo and Bad Spelling, Yes We Got That
by JaredFromLondon on Nov 24, 2009 9:38 PM EST up reply actions
GROUP HUG!
(don’t touch me)
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 9:39 PM EST up reply actions
great story
i really fail to understand how any parent who loves their child would be anything but accepting of this kind of revelation and this is a fine example of what family should be
The choo-choo train left right on time. A ticket costs only your mind.
The driver said, "Hey, man, we go all the way. Of course we were willing to pay.
- My name is Jonas (Gustavsson)- - - Weezer are clearly leafs fans.
... and I can't even admit to my dad that I'm a Jets fan.
The most uplifting part for me was the prevalence of the “who cares?” reaction. That’s what I really like to see catching on.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
The only problem with it is that there are still very powerful forces advocating that it’s NOT ok. Until they’ve been defeated on all major fronts, it’s nice to be able to say that it’s not an issue, but it still is.
I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.
My point is that more people saying “who cares” is a sign of shrinking influence for the loud and homophobic. It’s a great indicator.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Nov 24, 2009 7:40 PM EST up reply actions
What if Blake or Toskala comes out?
Can we still hate them?
by not norm ullman on Nov 24, 2009 10:28 PM EST reply actions
yes, but not for being gay
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 24, 2009 10:34 PM EST up reply actions
Sure
Because they hurt the Toronto Maple Leafs
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Here's why this matters
These passages really stuck out…
You eventually attend Xaverian Brothers High School, a prep school in Westwood, Mass., and make the competitive varsity hockey team as a senior, but choose not to play. You say it is because you don’t think you would get enough playing time and you are upset at the coach. But you actually don’t play because you don’t think you can go another season without someone finding out your secret…
The real reason you choose not to play your senior year is because the atmosphere in the locker room gets progressively harder to deal with as you get older. Homophobic slurs become as commonplace as rolls of hockey tape. Pressure to hook up with girls gets more intense. You are really upset for a couple of months. Your mom later tells you she thought you were depressed. Back then, she keeps asking you if something is wrong, but you don’t want to talk about it with anyone.
How many good athletes are quittng sports because of this stuff? How many great ones are?
Here’s hoping hockey is the first of the major sports to clean up this garbage. Lord knows, we need the best players we can find these days.
Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.
by Down Goes Brown on Nov 24, 2009 10:30 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
That really is something important to think about. I hope more people read this article.
As per new community rules; all signature tags on PPP must contain the word "truculent".
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
by wrap around curl on Nov 24, 2009 10:38 PM EST up reply actions
Great Point
It is such an ingrained part of sports teams that it is almost second nature regardless of your beliefs. It’s a conscious effort to remember that while you don’t mean any insult you most certainly are being insulting and quite possibly to someone in the room.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
This is a tremendous article. It gives me hope for the future and affirms my faith in humanity.
Brendan Burke is incrediably fortunate to be surrounded by so many fundamentally good people.
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
This kind of changes my opinion of Brian Burke. I guess he isn’t completely evil.
Fantastic article.
Dallas Stars 4 Life: Stars Blogging From Hockeyville, Iowa
by Brad_Richards_Rocks on Nov 25, 2009 11:27 AM EST reply actions
Dallas fans aren’t allowed to talk about who and who is not evil.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 25, 2009 12:29 PM EST up reply actions
I take it you don’t like Steve Ott, then?
Dallas Stars 4 Life: Stars Blogging From Hockeyville, Iowa
by Brad_Richards_Rocks on Nov 25, 2009 4:18 PM EST up reply actions
Steve Ott doesn’t like Steve Ott….
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Nov 25, 2009 4:41 PM EST up reply actions
You could say that and not be wrong.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Nov 29, 2009 2:12 PM EST up reply actions
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