So I says to God, I says "He's playing again tonight. Yeah, I know...dude couldn't stop a pig in passage and now he's backing us up against the Sabres."

You know God, he's sympathetic. Always has a good word for the Blue and White.

He says, "Don't you worry - I'll mess that Vesa up good this time, Sodom and Gomorrah style."

Brilliant, thinks I as I hang up the celestial hot line - the big fella has it covered. Turns out the schmuck thought we were playing in Ottawa. Either that or he'd been at the cherry brandy before unleashing the hellfire. Terrific, now we've got the Wild to placate AS WELL as the Toskala issue.

Maybe if we could tempt him into the mouth of a whale...

• Fun stuff and happy thoughts first. Reality and the misery of existence later. Bloge Salming brings you the products you'll all be shelling out for this festive season. 
• Keeping it light and delaying the inevitable for at least one more bullet point, why not join Down Goes Brown as he brings you part 1 of the 20 Leaf Moments of the Decade.
• Right then, for the masochists amongst you - let's talk game review. The Leafs took a 5 - 2 beating off the Sabres, thanks in no small part to he-who-shall-not-be-named. We're as mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! But in the meantime, the thoughts of Fallen Leafs, Toronto Mike, Truculence is Everything, esteemed colleague Wraparoundcurl, JaredFromLondon and the Hockey News. Die By The Blade count their lucky stars by contrast. 
• In keeping with the theme of general ineptitude, the Marlies went down 6 - 1 to the Hartford Wolf Pack - proving once more that a rubbish team name is no impediment to handing out a shellacking. 
• AkiSchennberg wants to talk to you about the number 13.
• The Hockey Writers speculate on what's going to need to happen for the magical PLAYOFFS!!!1
• Yes, he has previous for stupid goals. A million thanks to the NHL Fanhouse for the reminder. 
• Carrying on the work of locating bad sartorial choices, it's Puck Daddy and the Jersey Fouls - this time featuring a Bruins fan who was crying so hard, it's difficult to believe he made it to the game unaided.
• Behind the Net rounds things off today with a quick one-two combination. First, it's a look at the players who've put the numbers up these last ten years..
• ..and then, with a non-hockey classic - it's how to be good at darts with no talent. All thanks to rock solid Maths!