via www.rotorob.com 

There’s a lot I like about you Daniel Alfredsson.  Your pale complexion, goofy red hair, hockey skills… wait, strike that last one.  Actually, strike that whole thing.  There's  nothing I like about you, Daniel Alfredsson. 

So you’re the Swedish captain of an NHL franchise in Ontario.  Where have I heard that one before?  Oh right, once again, the Senators have to copy the Leafs to try and be a legitimate NHL franchise.  Well, whatever floats your boat.  I’d want to be one of the most storied franchise in NHL history if I could, too. 

So let’s take a look at  your great accomplishments, Daniel.  You were drafted 133rd overall in the 6th round of the 1994 entry draft, so I guess it’s sort of impressive that you actually made it to the NHL.  Oh, and you won the Calder trophy for rookie of the year in 1995-1996, and got to go to the all-star game.  But then once your entry level contract ran out, you decided to hold out for a better contract.  Yes, that would be the first clue that  you were destined to become Captain of the Ottawa Senators.

Once you were captain, your team managed so much better in the post season than when Alexei Yashin was captain.  I mean, under Yashin the Senators managed to lose in the second round to the Washington Capitals, and then get swept by the Buffalo Sabres.  Under you, Daniel, the Senators lost to the Leafs in the Quarter Finals in 1999-2000, then were swept in the first round in 2000-01, and then lost in a seven game series in 2001-02.  Yes, that’s definitely an improvement.  Oh and then in 2003-2004, you lost to the Leafs again in the first round.  This was the year you guaranteed that your team would win the cup.  And that you would force a game seven against the Leafs in the first round, again reiterating that the Senators would win the cup.  Too bad you didn’t win that game 7.

Once the Leafs decided to run their franchise into the ground by hiring John Ferguson Junior as GM, and replacing Pat Quinn with Paul Maurice, you did start to fare better.   You even managed to make it to the Stanley Cup finals in 2007.  Then came this wonderful display of sportsmanship:

 Some other highlights of your career include your mocking of Mats Sundin.  In a game against Ottawa, Sundin’s stick broke as he took a shot on goal.  Frustrated, he threw half of the broken stick into the crowd, which resulted in a 1 game suspension.  How did you react to this show of passion (unfortunately ill-conceived) by your countryman and rival?  You later broke your stick and mockingly pretended to throw it into the crowd in the same manner.  Yes, that’s definitely what you look for in a great NHL player – certainly an example for your teammates to follow.  Maybe it came from the frustration you feel because back in Sweden you have to live in Sundin’s shadow.  Heck the one major accomplishment of your hockey career – winning the Olympic Gold Medal for Sweden – you only did while Sundin was your captain.  Sorry about that.  I know that Senators fans think you’re all wonderful and the greatest captain in history (well, maybe the history of their team) but really, you’re a weasel and a punk who promises but doesn’t deliver, and stoops to pathetic little jokes when frustrated.

I leave you all with this last iconic image of Daniel Alfredsson: