Tavares a Leaf? Guaranteed!

Unfortunately, it is one of those Alfreddson style guarantees: from the mouth of a fool and doesn't make any sense. However, break your Eklund's Magical World of Make-Believe embargo and head over there to check out the dumbest blog post ever written. It is worth it. Matthew Barry makes those Red Eye dudes look knowledgeable and reasonable...or, at least a little less alone in this world.

10 months ago Kim Jorn 99 comments 2 recs |

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can't... bring... myself....

to read anything on that site.

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 12:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I don’t read it either, but Till has it bookmarked and reads it first thing every morning, so he sent me the link.

Here’s a summary for anyone who won’t click on the link: If Toronto or Ottawa finish in the bottom five, the NHL will rig the lottery so that they get Tavares and keep him out of Uniondale. Evidence? Well, the NHL supposedly rigged the Crosby lottery to save the struggling Penguins. Anyone else see the gaping black hole in the logic on this one?

BTW, it is more than worth clicking the link just for the comments, especially when the dude comes in to defend himself.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

hah

that does sound entertaining….

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 1:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I give you gold, Jorn – and you throw &#% on me. I feel like Tito Santana at Wrestlemania V.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Strike Force is falling apart!

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You’re going to get a flying forearm with extra jalapenos

/Gorilla Monsoon

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would have preferred a Bobby Heenanism there…

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I thought we were against being offensive. Humanoid.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Seriously, how did Heenan get away with that stuff? He was still cracking racist jokes on air well into the 90s IIRC.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You’re talking about a company that featured a necrophilia angle, an Islamic terrorist angle, and a 70 year old woman giving birth to a hand in the last decade,

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I bet ya Chico wishes he was back selling tacos in Tijuana right now!

/the “Body”

by general borschevsky on Mar 24, 2009 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

YES!

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

BTW, there was a piece about Tito in the NYT a few weeks back. Still happil married, a teacher who works shows on weekends for fun and extra $$$. A nice change from the usual story.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That is good to hear. I always liked him.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I always cheered against Tito. Doesn’t mean I didn’t like him though. He had some amazing matches with Macho Man in Maple Leaf Gardens. Legendary.

by general borschevsky on Mar 24, 2009 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I rooted against him as a kid, but now I appreciate how solid he was. He had a shitton of great matches. I’d buy a Tito DVD.

Speaking of, Macho Man DVD this summer.

DIG IT!

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

An exciting peek into the world of Cox Bloc

My email about this to Jorn this AM:

Read the comments. Dude talks about how people can’t handle how “edgy” he is is and how he’s a “Rated-R, Tarantino kind of guy.”

Also, in any hockeybuzz thread he’s not in, all the other commenters should ask “Where’s Poochie?”

Seriously, this guy’s douchiness cannot be appreciated without sampling his bedshittery in the comments.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Why did you edit the XOXOXO out of the email?

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I should have kept it. It’s not like anyone else is reading this anyways.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fanshot Fail.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Most fanshots don’t get 100+ comments. This one will.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I bet you $50 this won’t get 100 comments.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Done.

That’s the easiest $50 I ever made.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I dunno

I could help out if I get a slice of that, Godd.

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

We can’t afford our domain name anymore, so we’re just moving the Bloc over here.

That Damien Cox writes some foolish things, doesn’t he?

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That Howard Berger! What a MAROON!

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That Howard Berger! What a MAROON!

he plays for an old Montreal team?

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Mar 24, 2009 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is a good idea

I’m just going to leave this page open continuously, occasionally add something, and watch the history of our lives unfold forever in these comments. It’ll be like Twitter, but even better!

by general borschevsky on Mar 24, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

so this is the spot where i can post things

in a 144 character format?

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock

by blurr1974 on Mar 24, 2009 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Where’s DGB to make us laugh?

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What?

Wrestling jokes aren’t good enough for you?

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

"It's still real to me, damn it!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I’m going to get started on my fake general borschevsky Fanshot account. I’ll email it to Shoalts later today.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Hey!

Actually, that would be allright. Especially if you clearly mention that it is a parody and there’s a link back to this page, I totally endorse the idea. I’m still gonna call Shoalts and badger him about it though.

by general borschevsky on Mar 24, 2009 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Even better will be the ensuing Google traffic.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 24, 2009 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

WIN

So Kim, what bugs you about going to Yankees games at the Rogers Centre?

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:05 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Can you comment faster so that we get to the punch line sooner?

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

All the kids in Red Sox hats.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

HEY-O

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Poor little guys showed up on the wrong night, bless their little hearts.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Seriously Chemmy, there is this disturbing trend up here with people who support both the Blue Jays and Red Sox. Till is good friends with one of them.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I am?

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Clearly

A differing definition of the term “friends”

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Mar 24, 2009 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

J-Rock. I haven’t seen much of him lately, so he may be sporting a Rays hat too.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I thought he’d just switched bandwagons. At least the Boyd Devereaux re-signing kept him on board with the Leafs.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I don’t know, what?

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Smells like carrots!

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

~YES~

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Eve Styzerman told that joke from the stage at our last gig. Got the biggest cheer of the night.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Only 48 comments right now.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:40 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Halfway there!

YES WE CAN

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Me = Obama
Till = Biden

We’ll let Chemmy and PPP work out which of them get to be McCain and Palin.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Unlike the three of you I actually voted for Obama so I get first dibs.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:44 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Godd can be Ron Paul.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

GOOGLE DOCTOR GODD TILL

ABOLISH THE FEDERAL RESERVE DICTATORSHIP OF DEBT

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

And speaking of conspiracy theories

I think Chemmy’s trying to screw us like Montreal Survivor Series, Kim…..

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I have a feeling that some comments will start disappearing soon…

Glad I didn’t put 50 bucks on this one.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

It’s Bret Hart-level stuff kids

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 24, 2009 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Not so fast. ACORN signed me up, and I voted for Obama three times.

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

hah

barely at 50 and scraping the bottom of the barrel guys……

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 2:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

They’re

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Mar 24, 2009 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Cuz

he’s jammies

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Mar 24, 2009 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

are

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 2:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

if he needs to get rid of 50 bucks, I could always use it.

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Mar 24, 2009 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Mar 24, 2009 2:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Half a Wellwood?

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

GROUND BEEF

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Mar 24, 2009 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

hahaha

I’m writing that one down

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)

by Winkle on Mar 24, 2009 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

HEY-O

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 3:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I can’t believe how badly Godd wants to give his money away

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 24, 2009 2:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

shhhh

don’t give it away…

by Karina on Mar 24, 2009 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What's brown and sticky?

by Kim Jorn on Mar 24, 2009 3:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

A STICK!

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

your mom?

Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing

by loser domi on Mar 24, 2009 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

More genius from Barry

Hey! Something FRESH and NEW to read, right? Why read stuff like “Our team won 2-1” when you can read something JUICY!

and

I like Carla. I spoke to her for a few hours about HB and what to expect. Carla writes nice pieces. I’m much, much edgier (have you noticed). That’s my gig. Some people enjoy it, others don’t. Others REALLY don’t.

And I urge you, please do so. It might just significantly improve your blogs and the threads they generate. I’m happy that Kings threads are back on Hockeybuzz, make no mistake, but it kind of ends there.
- acc66pgh

Sorry, I’m more of a rated R kind of guy. PG-13 just doesn’t do it for me. I like Tarrantino. Not cute dog’s that talk movies. Maybe I’m just not your thing. I have my own style. Carla has hers. I take some getting used to.

Apparently Eklund’s new strategy is to hire people even dumber than he is.

by Godd Till on Mar 24, 2009 3:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs