Playoff Bandwagoning: Eastern Conference
by PPP on Apr 10, 2009 10:00 AM EDT
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PrintEd.'s Note: This is the third year of having to run this post. Some day soon I hope I'll just be able to cheer on the Leafs and pretend that hockey stops when they get eliminated (or you know, when they win the Cup). Some of this is new, some is old, all of it is true.
If I were to say that the NHL playoffs were about one thing it would be the Stanley Cup. Pretty obvious right? But if I added a second thing what would it be? Personal sacrifice? Emotions run wild? Players leaving a legacy? Delirium-inducing highs and depression-triggering lows? Sure. It could be all of those things but the right answer is hate.
Two years ago Neate Sager penned a guide to the playoffs that focused on hatred. Andy Grabia seethed at the thought of bandwagon fans in Edmonton supporting Calgary of all people. He even suggested a Sporting Inquisition although he didn't think that a death penalty was necessary (personally, I would not want to tie the tribunals hands) he did want to root out sports greatest evil: Bigamy.
Now, there is some irony in that I, along with others, have decided to start supporting the Capitals (vote for yourselves below). The difference lies in that we just want a little something to cheer for during another playoff-less spring and there is no way that we'll switch allegiance permanently. Is that having your cake and eating it too? Maybe but if you tell me otherwise you're wrong.
The reason that the Capitals are an acceptable proxy for the Leafs lies in the rationality of playoff hate. Personally, aside from the Leafs I make all of my picks based on hate and even then you could probably say that cheering for the Leafs is a kind of self-hate.
Here is the Eastern Conference playoff picture:
The order of evilness this year amongst the 16 teams is pretty simple:
- First I want all of the Canadian teams to lose (no need to have their obnoxious loads of bandwagon fans in my face). Vancouver and Calgary are located in probably two of my most hated Western cities and of course, the day I cheer for the Canadiens is the day hell freezes over.
- Then it goes by past sins against the Leafs. That gets rid of Detroit, New Jersey, New York, Boston, Carolina, St. Louis (Sorry SLGT! but you bastards ruined my childhood playoff experiences), Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh (screw that entire state!).
- If Nashville makes it then they are out because they should be in Hamilton.
- Chicago is the only thing standing between the Leafs and the longest Stanley Cup drought among Original Six teams.
- Who does that leave? San Jose, Anaheim, and Washington. They remain as acceptable Stanley Cup champions mainly because I do not know any fans of those teams so I won't have to put up with their crap during the next season through to whenever the Leafs win the cup (or the end of my life, whichever comes first...please God the Stanley Cup).
There is no cheering for other teams especially rivals. Much like Andy I have had people ask me if I will be cheering for the Flames or Canadiens or senators because they are Canadian teams. That entire concept is ridiculous. Hell, a national bank tried to bamboozle residents of Toronto into supporting the senators during the scum's run to embarrassment in the Stanley Cup Final! Dilletantes that make that suggestion show that they have no grasp whatsoever of what it means to be a fan(atic). That season the most Canadian team in the playoffs was the Ducks but no one in the country advocated jumping on their bandwagon.
Over at The Battle of Ontario I penned a series of posts titled "Playoff Memories" that basically served to highlight all of the senators' painful playoff losses in their club's history. A commenter accused me of writing the posts out of bitterness. I added that it was mostly hatred for the sens. That is what makes sports so wonderful. While cheering for your team is the majority of your fandom (take note sens fans: majority) an accompanying element is the schadenfreude of seeing your rivals fail. Come playoff time sometimes that is all you have left (see: Nation, Leafs) but at least it helps you figure out who to support.
Now, not everyone hates the same way so outline how you choose who to cheer against during the playoffs. Chemmy lives in New York City so maybe it's the stink of the city that seals the deal. Or the fans spitting on him at Flyers games. Or Bobby Clarke. Basically, what I am saying is that everyone hates differently. How do you hate?
Note: Since I have more experience at running polls where I want a particular outcome I won't run into the same problem as Chemmy. Enjoy supporting St. Louis!
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I renew my objection to this entire concept.
Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.
by Down Goes Brown on Apr 10, 2009 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
This is why I like you.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
1) Washington
2) Whoever knocks Montreal the fuck out
by Clawson on Apr 10, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Whoever knocks Montreal the fuck out
Oh, you mean Boston.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I defer you all to this I wrote last year round this time
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 10:08 AM EDT reply actions
How about
VANCOUVER???
Bobby Louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu with another shutout last night. And how about that Ryan Kesler fellow? What a fucking hockey player.
Go Canucks.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
While I question your sanity, I understand that you will be cheering for the Canucks because of Mats. But, please, stop there. The Bobby Louuuuuuu call is too much. You are echoing the mindless howl of people who hate you because you were born in the GTA and are smart enough to cheer for the Leafs. Do you really want to be one of them? Have you seen Carrie?
He’s the best goalie the Leafs never had. I really hope they win the Cup, Toronto hatred be damned. This isn’t about Vancouver. It’s about Mats.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
Like I said, no problem with you wanting to see Mats win a cup. The Bobby Lou yell, and the props to Kesler…that is when I start getting scared…
You wouldn’t like to see the likes of Kesler/Burrows in a Leafs jersey?
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
I’ll have to disagree with both of you, here. I think Kesler is the future captain of that team. Kid’s unreal.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
Glorified third liner
Having a good year playing with Sundin. Funny that the Canucks fans don’t seem to notice how his production has skyrocketed since he was put on a line with Mats.
mats carrying his line mates?
thats new
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 11:10 AM EDT up reply actions
fuck.
i wish mats never left.
i wish we had a goalie.
i need a drink. it’s a holiday, might as well.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
dont worry, when he retires we will like him again
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 11:28 AM EDT up reply actions
No we noticed, don’t worry.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Apr 10, 2009 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions
and
a diving, goalie-running whiner.
Sorry, I respect the talent of Luongo and Kesler, but their whineyness and consistency in diving made me lose all respect for them a long time ago.
by Karina on Apr 11, 2009 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Also, you wouldn’t make a very good Canucks fans. Most of the Canucks fans I know spent the last few years mocking Sundin, and the last few months trashing him for his inconsistent play. They don’t deserve him. Or you.
that’s a very good point. i appreciate you looking out for me. i am all messed up. it’s been a trying year.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
I understand...
I just don’t want you going down the wrong path. We look out for our friends here at PPP.
I’ll continue to await my intervention. Y’all are good people.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
we’re just waiting for the chloroform to come in, its on back order
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 11:07 AM EDT up reply actions
It’s been one long intervention since BeneMats signed in Vancouver
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
BeneMats Arndin?
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions
If LA had won, the Leafs would only need to lose to Ottawa and have Phoenix beat Anaheim to get the final lottery spot.
So, uh, great for the Canucks. Now we need LA to win their next game.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Wrong Conference
Plus, it’s wrong.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I'd cheer for Vancouver,
But if I want to cheer for a team with pretty, long-haired beauties on it, I tend to go with the Team Canada ladies.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
If Boston and Montreal meet in the first round, I hope we can count on your (temporary) support while we kick the living shit out of those rat bastards.
by bostonblueline.blogspot.com on Apr 10, 2009 10:27 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I’m with SkinnyFish. Definitely agree.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
in news today, Milan Lucic injured 10 Montreal Canadians players in what is being called the bloodiest event in NHL history, the NHL refused interviews but released a statement that reads “Fuck’em they deserved it” Montreal has now forfeit the round
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Alexander Ovechkin set a new NHL record tonight by becoming the first player to score three game-winning goals in the same game – completing a two game sweep of the Canadiens. In addition to eliminating Montreal in record time, the Capitals have the added benefit of not having to travel to Montreal.
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
Leafs are out I’m rooting for a Boston-Columbus Cup final.
Pension Plan Puppets*
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Washington Columbus would be good
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 11:05 AM EDT up reply actions
yeah,
but Nash VS Ovie would be an epic final
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions
On that, did anyone see the highlights of the last Boston Hab game? The habs were running bruins all night, seems they play dirty hockey when they arnt playing the Leafs too
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions
by rest of the way...
you mean eastern conference final?
i really only want to see the Sharks win everything this year…so I can go to a Cup final game.
"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Apr 10, 2009 10:36 AM EDT up reply actions
Yes, it is very definitely time for that logo.
I am on board the Ovie Express for 2009, just like I was last year.
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
Purely by dint of being physically sickened by cheering for anyone else on that list, it’ll have to be the Caps.
You've had all your word nourishment for one day.
I know eh?
I look at that list and wonder what the odds of 4 simultaneous meteor stikes might be.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Yes, I'm a Habs fan as well as a Leafs fan
It’s come up before; I’ll explain again if necessary. That means, of course, that as a fan I can ignore all most of their sins, unlike the teams that follow.
But how do I hate? Long comment to follow…
Well, I hate the Bruins for obvious reasons.
The Flyers have offered generations of reasons for any hockey fan to hate them. Despite their evil habit of also employing players I really respect (Gagne, Timmonen, Richards) I can still consistently hate them. Otherwise, though, my hatred is, well, bandwaggon-y.
For the Devils and Red Wings, I must admit, it’s hatred born of envy. Too much success. Also, Red Wing fans can be insufferable, but let’s be honest, virtually every team has insufferable fans.
Pittsburgh and Washington I hate for tanking their way into superstars. Some teams finish last because they’re really, really bad, and some teams aim for it, and I believed that Washington aimed for it. Pittsburgh was undeservedly lucky in winning the Crosby derby when they already had Fleury (1st overall) and Malkin (2nd overall) and had previously had Lemieux and Jagr. When was the last time the Leafs had a Lemieux-Jagr-Crosby-Malkin level player? 3 years from Dougie? Sittler? I can resent that.
I could feel sympathy for the Rangers, easily the most hapless of the Original Six (quick – think of an all-time great Ranger; even the Hawks had the Hull boys and Stan Mikita), but they’ve been high-spending idiots for a long time, so it’s fun to see them lose.
That leaves me with Carolina. Easy to cheer against Paul Maurice; and I still remember the last Carolina team he coached clutching-and-grabbing its way through three playoff rounds.
Out West, well, I like cheering for other Canadian teams because I like it when people are happy. A good friend of mine is a huge Flames fan and it’s fun for him when they win. But they’ve got Bertuzzi so screw ’em.
I covered Detroit, and Dallas and Colorado are already out. I’ve forgiven past sins by Chicago and the Blues because I like their new teams (although it’s a very good point that Chicago’s drought needs to be maintained). Anaheim is sort-of no longer named after a Disney movie, so maybe I can forgive them too (plus that goon Brian Burke is no longer in charge… oh, wait…). There’s no real reason to hate Columbus…
But I think I can cheer against San Jose this year, for no reason other than it’s fun to watch otherwise successful teams and players repeatedly fail in the playoffs. I guess I’ve got a mean streak too…
I've been looking at the sky
by Back In Black on Apr 10, 2009 11:38 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
a Leafs and a Habs fan? you sir are a human contradiction
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 11:41 AM EDT up reply actions
I’m not sure I’ve ever met one of you before…
I’m just goin to stand back and watch.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
seriously...
i’m too confused…
"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Apr 10, 2009 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions
That’s a healthy level of hate.
The Habs-Leafs thing needs more hate. A friend of mine is the same. He loves the Habs but he’ll cheer for the Leafs with me. I still can’t get him to switch over.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Old habits die hard. Pun not intended.
I've been looking at the sky
by Back In Black on Apr 10, 2009 2:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Dude!
I mean no real offense, but Leafs and Habs fan? That’s sporting hermaphroditism!
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
Also, Red Wing fans can be insufferable
My levels of insufferability are legendary.
When was the last time the Leafs had a Lemieux-Jagr-Crosby-Malkin level player?
Sundin
Rangers…last Original Six team to win it other than Detroit. And Messier is your answer. Also Leetch and Graves.
Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic association.
And Richter.
stupid Richter
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions
How many Hart Trophies (or nominations) for Sundin? How many scoring championships (or top ten finishes)? I’m a big Sundin fan, but he’s not in their league (…well, figuratively, not literally… you know what I mean). It’s like comparing Borje Salming to Bobby Orr, or Dale Hawerchuck to Wayne Gretzky.
The Rangers may actually be less pathetic than Chicago. It’s close, but at least the Hawks had Mikita and Hull. They’ve been around for 80 years, but all you guys came up with was four players from the same team, and one of them was Adam Graves. Who wore #9 for the Rangers (besides Graves, I mean)? At four Cups in 80 years, I’m not that impressed that their most recent one was only 15 years ago.
I've been looking at the sky
by Back In Black on Apr 10, 2009 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Check your stats on Sundin...
…cause NHL.com has these on record
Goals – 564 (20th best in league history)
Points – 1,349 (25th best in league history)
Game Winning Goals – 96 (5th best in league history)
9 straight All-Star apperances
Sure Jagr and Lemieux are ahead of Mats in goals and points, but when you’re in the top 25 for those stats in league history, you are the elite of the elite when it comes to talent in the NHL. Crosby and Malkin are great, but they got a long way to go to reach Sundin.
As for Chicago v. NYR; ’94 beats ’61 by a good three decades. Plus as Soulja Boy would say, “Mikita and Hull? Man I Googled them. They old as fuck!”
Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic association.
It means you've been a very good player for a very long time.
But it doesn’t mean you were ever the best in the game. Crosby and soon Malkin already have more Hart Trophy nominations than Sundin. Mats is a very good player, but never the best.
And I’m not much for using GWG and All-Star Game appearances as a mark of greatness. Sundin was named to the Second All-Star team twice – that’s an achievement, but compare it to Jagr (First Team seven times, Second Team once). Malkin was already a First Team All-Star last year.
I've been looking at the sky
by Back In Black on Apr 13, 2009 5:43 PM EDT up reply actions
you guys blow
we won your poll fair and square…dont make me reconsider spamming your site
You say 'Tomato', I say 'FUCK DETROIT', so lets call the season off
yeah, the polls give an view that its a democracy around here.
it isnt
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions
HAHAHA
That’s true. Talk to Chemmy. He’s doing the Western Conference.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Luckily for all of you I ignored everyone’s votes and we’ll be rooting for Columbus anyways.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Stanley Cup Fact
If a Canadian based team does not win the Stanley Cup this year, it will mark the first decade in the history of the NHL that a Candian team didn’t win at least once.
by Evening News Team on Apr 10, 2009 12:18 PM EDT reply actions
Another Fun Stanley Cup Fact
It will also mark the first time that Montreal does not win a Cup in a decade.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
yet another
Montreal Sucks!
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 10, 2009 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions
These two facts
make everything better in my eyes. I’m all sunshine, roses, lollipops, rainbows and unicorns now.
"I’m tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self medicating. If you need me, I’ll be at the bar."
Not sure
I believe that next year is part of this decade. Years ending in zero are part of the previous decade, new decade begins in 2011. Maybe I’m wrong.
Hmmm
Good point. Ok, so we’re one step closer to achieving that.
Whew, we were almost like those Y2K dummies that celebrated the new millennium in 2000!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Yet another
In the long, long list of hockey discussions corrected by someone from Peterborough. It’s just so damn hard to be humble.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by that logic 1990 is part of the ’80s then.
by Evening News Team on Apr 10, 2009 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions
well this is fun. i live in edmonton, goodbye calgary and vancouver right off the top. obviously montreal is a no no. anything from the west coast is out because of my ncaa affiliation with ohio state, who always lost to whichever west coast flake showed up at the rose bowl that day. phoenix is for retirement, and well colorado won me a pool one year but theyre not in. ditto edmonton, i live here and theyre not in. not to dwell on the wanna be’s, columbus is intriguing because i like hitchcock, but ill pass because theyre going to get their asses kicked. chicago, maybe because of the logo, but, nope, not enough. st. loo is a mortal enemy from the chuck norris days, buh bye. pittsburgh, washington, too diva. carolina, boring as hell. boston, dont mind the bruins but kind of luke warm. so my pick is jersey, i like the brodeur, they are a solid franchise and yes we have had our scrapes, but thats hockey.
by bringbackbower on Apr 10, 2009 11:32 PM EDT reply actions
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