Eulogy: Montreal Canadiens
by PPP on Apr 23, 2009 4:30 PM EDT
in 2009 Playoffs
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(Glove tap to OdinMercer at Five For Howling)
The '08-'09 Habs train wreck was cleared from the tracks at 9:33 PM ET. The conductor Bob Gainey and 9 passengers are the only known survivors at this time.
Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today not to mourn the passing of the Montreal Canadiens' 2008-2009 season but to celebrate the life of the "Centennial" season which provided so many of us with so much pleasure. Not the kind of pleasure that Pasquale Mangiola could have provided the Habs but pleasure nonetheless. We'll likely end up wearing cement shoes in the St. Lawrence after Mangiola reads this but at least we'll have the remnants of Bob Gainey's career to keep us warm at night.
The Montreal Canadiens pictured in the third period of Game 3.
After last season's renaissance Habs fans were probably expecting much greater things from their club. If they did it's probably because they ignored the numbers that suggested otherwise. I assume it's because numbers, other than 1967 and 24, scare them. And letters. And basic hygiene. To be fair, they have good reason to fear numbers as they caused them nothing but pain this year.
- 100 - The percentage of Habs fans who thought "this is the year" in August.
- 100 - The percentage of Habs fans calling for a rebuild in April.
- 2 - The number of powerplay quarterbacks that were lost to injuries on clean hits in their second last game of the regular season.
- 0 - The number of powerplay goals that the Canadiens scored against the Bruins without Markov and Schneider.
- -4.8 - The change in Montreal's power play percentage from last year.
- 1 - The number of stupid gimmicks that allowed the Canadiens to even qualify for the playoffs.
- $750 million - The depth of George Gillett's debt that led to some creative ticket deals and possibly a local owner.
- 1 - The number of Habs' ex-coaches that out-maneuvered a soon to be ex-coach/ex-GM
- 16 - The number of UFAs and RFAs on the Canadiens. Thank god they have a good GM to sort that out.
- 3 - The number of times that the Bruins' have swept the Canadiens out of the playoffs including this year.
- 1531 - The number of seconds that the Canadiens held the lead during the series or just under 21 minutes out of 240 minutes played.
- 1 - The number of embarrassing parody music videos about winning "25 in 100".
- 4 - The number of playoff goals scored by former Hab Michael Ryder in the same number of games
- 3 - The number of playoff goals scored by Michael Ryder in 21 playoff games with Montreal.
- 100 - The percentage of Montreal shopkeepers that protected their stores against rioters.
- 99 - The actual number of season that the Canadiens have played.
- 2 - The number of Montreal forwards who outscored Mikhail Grabovski this season.
- 0 - The number of those players under contract with Montreal next season.
- 3 - The number of cigarettes that Carey Price can smoke at once.
- 1 - The number of 'Franchise' goalies that gave the crowd the Patrick Roy treatment during the deciding game.
- 0 - The percent chance that Vinny Lecavalier saves Montreal next season.
(more goodness from OdinMercer)
Let us not forget those harder to quantify things that were lost this year. Habs fans lost a bit more of their class. Meanwhile, continued cheapshots and attempted cheapshots in this series even caused those rational fans among the blindly faithful to demand that some class be shown by the players. Some of the shine off of the Habs fans' inflated sense of superiority was debunked with a little research.
Now, for some words from the rest of the congregation:
Eyebleaf, Sports and the City:
You know, I thought I was ready to move on; to grow up. I thought I was ready to stop reveling in the failure of the Montreal Canadiens. But you know what? I'm not. Happy 100th Birthday! Helluva party. I only hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. All that's really left to say is, "Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!!!!"
Cornelius Hardenbergh and The Hockey Blog Adventure:
I don't know if my favorite part was that Ryder got more goals against the Habs this year than he got with them last year or that their Captain got outworked by third-line superstar Chuck Kobasew at the end of Game Three. Or the sweep.
Godd Till and Kim Jorn, Cox Bloc:
KJ: Is Montreal totally overrated or the most overrated team ever?
GT: Montreal is more overrated than the Doors, early Saturday Night Live, or the 2008 Detroit Tigers. They will finish 6th and go out in the first round.
"Brian Burke", Down Goes Brown
The 2008-09 Canadiens hit the wall harder than a player without the puck who turns his back on a Habs' defenseman.
The traditional gift for a 100th anniversary is a 10 carat diamond but all the Bruins gave the Habs this year was a broom. Ironically, I can't think of a better centenary gift. As a Leafs fan it's delightful to see the Habs removed as quickly as possible from post-season play; as a hockey fan who loves the Leafs – Habs rivalry, there's nothing the Montreal organization needs more than a broom to clean house this off-season.
I'd like to close this service with a short poem and the singing of a familiar hymn, the only appropriate song to sing as the Habs season jerks and shudders to its final resting place:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The Leafs didn't win a playoff game,
But neither did you.
We only hope that while celebrating an easy tap-in that Max Lapierre doesn't come to our offices and high stick us in the face and that the Kostitsyns don't put a hit out on us. Happy Centennial Montreal! From all of your friends over at Pension Plan Puppets!
ps. Habs fans, if you need a shoulder to cry on, check out the excellent Four Habs Fans, Eyes on the Prize, or call the "Canadiens Grief and Depression Hotline" at 1-800-101010 (won nothing won nothing won nothing).
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Comments
Epic. Awesome. Amazing.
I enjoyed this post almost as much as watching the Habs fall apart this year.
this is my favourite post ever
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
Cry, Cry, Cry
The tears of Habs fans sustain me.
Big Smoke Sports - We Burn The Buds, Roll The Raps, and Smoke The Jays
they are delicious
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
That poem...
is just the best thing ever.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team, and Mats Sundin, the GREATEST TORONTO MAPLE LEAF EVER...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
and...
well done, boys. great fuckin job.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team, and Mats Sundin, the GREATEST TORONTO MAPLE LEAF EVER...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
Thanks
We spent a good 5 hours on this puppy.
Special thanks to OdinMercer for epic graphics and the ending to the YouTube.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Can’t wait to watch that when I’m safely home from work.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Apr 23, 2009 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions
he was getting antsy last night looking for you
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Props, Odin.
A Toronto sports blog, where we unequivocally and unapologetically support the home team, and Mats Sundin, the GREATEST TORONTO MAPLE LEAF EVER...
PLAYOFFS!!!!1
I have fanshotted my thanks on Five For Howling.
Great work.
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
Thanks. Gonna have to set up a photoshop charity or something so I can get more space on flickr. I’m almost out of space over there.
Support Your Local Coyotes Blog! -
Five For Howling
Bravo!
Rec’d.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Apr 23, 2009 4:42 PM EDT reply actions
Nice work gentlemen. Thanks for letting me be a small part of this wonderful celebration.
Bitter Leaf Fan: a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...
Also
- Head over to Puck Daddy to laugh right in the Habs fans’ e-faces
- Send this to any Habs fan in your life
- Post it to any place that has people that love/hate the Habs
- ….
- Profit!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
No Idea
It’s from South Park.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
hahaha
I thought maybe you were past South Park ;)
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Never!
I think I have the first 6 or so seasons. Waiting for the rest to be on sale and to haave money at the same time
Support Your Local Coyotes Blog! -
Five For Howling
The entire show is going to be on Netflix instant streaming soon.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
That is beautiful.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Apr 23, 2009 5:34 PM EDT up reply actions
nnooooo....
rule number 4
I like to eat the yellow snow behind the zamboni
by Kerry Fraser on Apr 23, 2009 5:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Have you Fanposted this on Eyes on the Prize?
If not, that should be your next step.
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
Great Idea.
In 5 minutes everyone go over there and recommend it!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Well done!!
Rec’d
Running over terribleness in search for something positive about the Leafs. Anything? Anyone?!
by blindfolded tank driver on Apr 23, 2009 4:52 PM EDT reply actions
Wonderful post to the three of you
Le bleu, blanc et rouge: blue like our tears, white like our fears, and red like our faces. Bonne anniversaire!
Supporter of the Sergei Berezin "Give and Go" - You give me puck, then you go to hell
I’m going to start posting Puck Daddy comments and my responses.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
From Pat:
Hey, you know what Habs fans have that Leafs fans don’t?
Color pictures of our team with the Cup.
Hey Pat:
“1861: The first known permanent color photograph is taken by James Clerk Maxwell”, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_photography#History
Thanks for playing.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
From habs1rule:
Puck Daddy, Mr Gillett doesnt run the show in Montreal, that power is with Mr Boivin and Mr Gainey,and they are close..There is nobody to fire Bob Gainey, he would have to leave himself….You guys just dont get it, Theres a Monarchy running the Habs now, the Montreal Gazette plays “The Pope”.
habs1rule: “Puck Daddy” didn’t write that. Why don’t you clear the tears out of your eyes and take a cue from former Montreal coach Jacques Demers by learning to read.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
From habs1rule:
" oh the irony of this article being written by leafs fans…enough said. "
Great comeback, next time just write "no u" and save yourself the twenty minutes it took you to type that.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Irony
is a literary or rhetorical device, in which there is an incongruity or discordance between what one says or does and what one means or what is generally understood.
(wiki)
Having Leafs fans’ write an article on how the Canadiens suck donkey balls is not ironic. Why can’t people understand that?
Listen to Bender; he know’s irony.
Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic association.
lisa needs braces
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions
kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
I like to eat the yellow snow behind the zamboni
by Kerry Fraser on Apr 23, 2009 5:30 PM EDT up reply actions
let's party!
“Canadiens Grief and Depression Hotline” at 1-800-101010 (won nothing won nothing won nothing).
I chortled!
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
but that Feels like 83 seems oddly catchy
Making stuff up since real Leafs news is far too depressing
83 had much better results than 93
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 6:00 PM EDT up reply actions
OH WE GOT TOLD
Isn’t trash talk best reserved to come from a team who WASN’T in the draft lottery? A team that HAS made the playoffs in the past half decade or so? A team that HAS made the finals in the lifetime of your average 40 yr old? A team that actually has won 3 playoff rounds in a single year at one point or another in their franchise’s history? (Considering the only others that haven’t are a select few very recent expansion clubs).
Most teams that suffer the onslaught of injuries that this club faced this year would have finished lower in the standings than the Leafs, instead they fought through it all and made it into the play-offs but, didn’t have enough to win the cup without 4 or 5 of their top players due to it being open season for free cheap shots on their players all year long from Sauer on Kostitsin through Grabovski on Markov and all others in between. Gee what a bunch of losers they are huh?
Ah, finally. The Habs fan that blames everything on injures and the rest of the league. Not the lack of depth on the roster or the lack of heart on the bench.
I like to eat the yellow snow behind the zamboni
by Kerry Fraser on Apr 23, 2009 6:18 PM EDT up reply actions
my comment was correct, it was still early
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 6:20 PM EDT up reply actions
he's right
that renowned locker room cancer and all around goon Grabovski got a huge cheap shot in on the diminutive Markov.
you can see on the replay that Markov CLEARLY has the puck and is hit SHOULDER to SHOULDER by Goonovski.
Those kinds of hits, when the player has the puck, need to be taken out of the game, for the sake of those precious snowflakes in Montreal. Heaven forbid they be subject to FAR WORSE hits, or worse, if SKILLED players like Gretztopolous feel the need to start hitting and not playing the skill game they’re reknowned for.
"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock
by blurr1974 on Apr 23, 2009 6:28 PM EDT up reply actions
rofflewaffle - awesome post!
Excellent statistics! Allow me to add a few of my own:
0 – The number of stupid gimmicks that allowed the Leafs to even qualify for the playoffs.
0 – The total number of powerplay goals that the Leafs scored against all of their playoff rivals combined.
0 – The number of seconds that the Leafs held the lead, were tied, or were down by at least a goal during all of their playoff runs combined since the NHL lockout.
0 – The percent chance that anybody anywhere saves Toronto next season.
Enjoy your schadenfreude, Leafs fans. Nobody holds it against you: we know it’s all you’ve got.
Thanks!
Those are definitely all true. Good thing Puck Daddy didn’t exist during all of those seasons that the Leafs were actually getting past the first round while the Habs were crying into their smoked meat sandwiches.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I thought Leafs fans didn’t like bringing up the ancient past?
Yeah sure, the Canadiens have won more Cups than any other team: but that was [i]then[/i], this is [b]now[/b]!
Of course, the Canadiens dominated NHL hockey with multiple dynasties that brought home the Cup in consecutive years through the fifties, sixties, and seventies: but that was over thirty years ago! We’re interested in how they’re performing today!
I guess I don’t get it: if you’re looking at the overall history of the teams, Montreal comes out ahead. If you’re looking at the recent history of the teams, Montreal comes out ahead.
Or maybe I do get it: let’s just look at, oh I dunno, the randomly selected period of five years between 1998-2003, but nothing before or since. Wooo! Leafs Rule!!
You guys are doing well now?
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I didn’t say well. I readily admit, losing in a sweep is a total bummer. A tough pill to swallow for any team’s fans.
I said we’re doing better. Than the Leafs, anyway. Which isn’t a bragging point: it’s just to point out the ludicrousness of it being Toronto fans that are doing all this pointing and laughing. The crumbling buildings, the pictures of brooms, the inverted CH symbols. From Bruins fans, it makes perfect sense. From Leafs fans, it just forces me to remember how many playoff games you’ve played in recent memory, and how many Cups you’ve won since my father was old enough to drink.
i know, its so sad that the Leafs made the playoffs all those years, iced several pretty good teams and wallowed in that thing called consistency up until the lockout while the Canadians…..sucked terribly pretty much the whole time since they won the cup
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:05 PM EDT up reply actions
There’s that selective sampling again!
Is this where I should bring up the many, many, many runs of five or six years that the Canadiens have had over their history where they’ve been better than the Leafs? Or should I just focus on the past three or fours years when they’ve been better than the Leafs?
There’s no way to convince a loyal fan that they’re wrong, of course. I’m not suggesting that I expect you to suddenly renounce all things Leaf-y and swear fealty to the Bleu-Blanc-Rouge crown. I’m suggesting that when living in a glass house with a straw foundation, rock-throwing and flamethrowers are not a good idea.
So let’s just cancel the time-honoured sports tradition of laughing at our rivals’ failings?
I guess Habs fans kept quiet from 1994-2004 when the Leafs were better than them in almost every season? I don’t think so.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
were the habs that much better than the leafs since the lock out anyways? This year, not by much, last year sure, the year before that? hell no
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:22 PM EDT up reply actions
hmm..
what would you prefer?
A 7th round draft pick and a GM building a core of young talent
-or-
Embarrassing 1st round Sweep in first round, 10 UFAs and no future in site.
I like to eat the yellow snow behind the zamboni
by Kerry Fraser on Apr 23, 2009 7:07 PM EDT up reply actions
CONGRATULATIONS!
you are the Ottawa Senators one year earlier!
without the front loaded talent
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah
All of the UFAs, chemistry problems, and shaky goaltending but none of the top 20 scorers!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
they could sure use a player like Grabbo, he’s got some skill and really seems to be getting along with his team mates
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:21 PM EDT up reply actions
The Habs are allergic to pineapples, JfL.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
especially the kostitens, hiding behind the officials like that, they must be deathly allergic
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:26 PM EDT up reply actions
You know what’s worse than finishing 9th overall and getting a crappy draft pick?
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
You’re still not a Habs fan!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
BZZZZZZZT.
Sorry, abso-
You need to read this, read it again, then come back and chatter.
http://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/2009/4/5/823851/perspective-or-your-team-sucks-too
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
An excellent rebuttal, if I had come here and commented on your off-season musings on UFA picks and draft choices with something like “LEAFS SUCK!”.
I’m just responding to the attack as written.
Montreal sucks by getting swept! (… even though Toronto didn’t make the playoffs)
Montreal missed the playoffs year after year between 98-03 (…even though Toronto has missed the playoffs year after year between 05 and now).
I’m saying any pompous laughs of superiority sound a bit hollow. Not that the Leafs suck, and are terrible, ehl-oh-ehl, etc., ad nauseum. Just that coming out swinging so long after your own bell was rung… it all seems a little surreal.
so the Habs missed for 5 years straight, and the Leafs 4 and that supports your argument how?
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:29 PM EDT up reply actions
See, this is where you are getting lost:
I’m saying any pompous laughs of superiority sound a bit hollow.
These aren’t pompous laughs because we’re not Habs fans. These are laughs of a schadenfreudical nature. Big difference.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Montreal sucks by getting swept! (… even though Toronto didn’t make the playoffs)
Whether or not we made the playoffs doesn’t stop you from sucking.
Montreal missed the playoffs year after year between 98-03 (…even though Toronto has missed the playoffs year after year between 05 and now).
You suck, we suck. That doesn’t stop the essential point which is:
The Habs suck.
We at least realise we suck. We do not like it and fervently hope we improve soon, but at least we’ve got through step 1 of the 12 step plan. Unlike you. If it hadn’t been for that nasty Mr Grabovski and his dastardly legal hits, eh?
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
Don’t take away from Brad May’s fine work!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I think there’s been a bubble built here, because I have no clue what you’re talking about with the legal hits stuff. I haven’t heard anyone complain about the Markov hit, along the lines of blaming the Leafs (beyond just random rage at the Leafs for being the Leafs – how dare they, by the way! Blech!).
But this is my first (and to be honest, probably last) day here, so maybe there is some anti-Leaf regular that’s been trying to give you shit about it. I’ll let you and him argue that one out somewhere else.
Not any anti-Leaf regular. Mike Komisarek was the one bitching about the hit.
Also, there are quite a few message boards, blogs, and websites where you can find complaints about that hit by Grabovski.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Just went and watched a replay of the hit. I dunno, Markov’s back was kind of turned, there was a bit of a push, weird angle into the boards… meh. I’m not an expert on whether it was a technically legal hit or not. The result of it was absolute balls, however.
I think that Grabovski being a bit of a wiener helps stoke everyone’s rage. Ryder, I miss. Souray and Streit, I miss. Grabovski…. not so much. Hopefully he matures and you get better mileage out of him, but I felt no remorse when I discovered he had been shipped.
In my brother’s playoff pool last year, someone convinced a friend to snap him up as a late pick. Unfortunately, the individual neglected to mention he was injured at the time. :)
We love him because of the rivalry, of course, but also because of this-
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/45642/grab_pineapple_medium.jpg
(us Leaf fans have a thing for pyschotic russians- see Markov, Danny, and Yuskeivich, Dmitri)
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
Nope
Rivals laugh at each other’s failing no matter what. Habs fans don’t stop when the Leafs are better for over a decade and Leaf fans won’t stop during the two season period when the Habs have been better.
But that is the typical Habs fan response. As long as no team gets past 24 Stanley Cups the Habs can always act superior even if they go 70 years without a Cup.
5. 24 Stanley Cups
As anyone who has spent more than five minutes near a Yankee fan can tell you, there is nothing more endearing than someone repeatedly telling you how many championships their team has won. As a fan of the Montreal Canadiens, we are proud of our teams past success and aren’t afraid to tell everyone about it every chance we get. As an added bonus, it is impossible for us to ever lose an argument. What’s that you say? The Habs failed to address their major issues at the trade deadline and may miss the playoffs in their glorious 99th season? We’ve won 24 Stanley Cups. Their laughable coaching change has reduced a much anticipated anniversary to a remake of How To Self-Destruct, by the Ottawa Senators? Well, we’ve won 24 Stanley Cups! Huh? Carey Price is Andrew Raycroft with a worse glove hand? We’ve won 24 Stanley Cups? What? The Leafs, who are terrible, have owned the Habs this year? WE’VE WON 24 STANLEY CUPS!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Abso – I’d like to think the Leafs natural, and longest standing, rival is the Montreal Canadiens. These two teams have played against each other for, what, 70+ years? Factor in the language, religious and cultural differences between the two fanbases and you get a bit more bite than most sports rivalries.
Now, the team I cheer for may stink. They may have spent an entire decade without hitting .500. JFJ may be one of the worst GMs since Rejean Houle and Brian Burke may be full of hot air. Frankly, it may be a few more years yet before this club qualifies for the playoffs, let alone threatens to win anything. But all of those things don’t change one simple fact: the Habs, as pre-season favourites and proponents of miscalculated 100th anniversary celebrations, were clearly ripe for a fall. And when that fall came, I have to tell you it was delicious.
I’m sure, were the shoe on the other foot, you’d be a gracious rival and only offer words of encouragement and your support to Leaf fans. And that would be mighty decent of you. Sadly, I’m not that gracious.
Enjoy the off-season. I know I will.
Bitter Leaf Fan: a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...
by mf37 on Apr 23, 2009 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Aha, honesty at last.
I don’t resent you savouring the flavour of our defeat. I find it disingenuous that so many want to pretend like they’re glad the Habs lost because of some Higher Hockey Reasoning.
I would cheer for any team to beat the Leafs. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing them not make the playoffs. Again. (cough – sorry :)
I hope I would not invent eighteen reasons for why, despite having finished way below their rivals several seasons in a row, my team is actually, when you looks at the statistics in such-and-such a way, in this light, with your head tilted to the side, clearly superior to their rivals. And vice-versa.
Here’s to more excellent Canadian hockey in 09-10. May your red light always be on, but your beer mug always be full. :)
I hope I would not invent eighteen reasons for why, despite having finished way below their rivals several seasons in a row, my team is actually, when you looks at the statistics in such-and-such a way, in this light, with your head tilted to the side, clearly superior to their rivals.
if you guys had thought about it, you would have
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Again, you missed the point of that post. That post was written because anti-Leaf fans like to pretend that the Leafs have been shit since 1967 when there has been a pretty long period where the Leafs have been the best team in the country. If opposition fans had any sense (most of you) then we wouldn’t have to remind them how stupid their arguments are to begin with.
I find it disingenuous that so many want to pretend like they’re glad the Habs lost because of some Higher Hockey Reasoning
What Higher Hockey Reasoning beyond the Habs suck and we loved watching it because we hate everything related to the Habs?
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Who said the Leafs have been shit since 67? No Cups, certainly, but not shit. You had a wonderful stint there in the nineties.
But, referencing your own quote to me above (“5. 24 Stanley Cups …”): is this your defense against all criticism? You were the best team in Canada (for the sake or argument, I’ll concede that point even) for a decade, about a decade ago, so now that means … ?
we loved watching it because we hate everything related to the Habs
That’s fair, and is a far cry from the myriad of rationalizations for why the Leafs are actually better this season than the Canadiens.
I’m pretty sure those numbers go up to sometime this year. So even with 4 non-playoff seasons, we’ve still been better than everyone in Canada.
If you include the good decade? Yeah, perhaps.
But this is the same as Montreal including the fifties (and sixties, and seventies) in any argument as to why they’re “better”. Over the past ninety years (let’s even lop off the first decade, to eliminate some outliers), the Habs have been better than the Leafs, by pretty much any definition you want to use. Over the past five years, they’ve been better. But maybe you’re right: factoring in just the right number of years within the past 20, you’ll probably find a measurement that will make the Leafs come out on top.
Apparently you have a sectioned manual or something for responding to this kind of argument: PPP gave a quote above. Try sub-section 5 or something.
You're still missing the point
That post isn’t some tool to be used by us to feel better about the Leafs (“See guys! Things are great! The Leafs are still the best over the last 16 years!”)
It is a directed reply to accusations from opposition fans.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Okay. Guess I missed those accusations, since they weren’t referenced, and no direction was given as to how this responded to them.
Well, you’re not a Leafs fan.
The next few times you are talking to new people tell them that you are a Leafs fan and see what they start saying to you. I guess you’ll hear the following:
- 1967!!!1
- You’re all sheep!!!1
- You’re just Leaf fans not hockey fans!!!1
- If you’d protest things would change!!!1
Try it out and see how you like it. Or just wait about 26 more years and come back to us.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
or just ask a blackhawks fan
oh wait, no one cares about the blackhawks
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Miles in other men’s shoes, I suppose. Try telling people you’re a Montreal fan, and outside of Montreal, you’ll often get wonderfully tasteful comments about french frogs, etc. :)
And to be honest, I’m not sure I can disagree much with #2, after you’ve admitted to having converted Chick tracts on here somewhere!
For the record, I will publicly disagree with #3 though. Canadian hockey first, specific team devotion (a very, very, very close) second.
Try telling people you’re a Montreal fan, and outside of Montreal, you’ll often get wonderfully tasteful comments about french frogs
See? other fans are idiots!
For the record, I will publicly disaa’s teamgree with #3 though. Canadian hockey first, specific team devotion (a very, very, very close) second.
If anyone ever cheered for the Leafs as Canada’s team I might consider it. Until that date…
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
if any Habs fan cheers for the Leafs I will be super shocked, any other canadian fan base, it would be par for the band waggoning course
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Whenever someone admits to me they’re a Habs fan, I just pause for a second, then say, “I’m so sorry.” :)
And I have zero, I mean zero, interest in anyone referring to the Leafs as Canada’s team. That’s something Sens fans do, and it makes me want to choke the shit out of them. Team Canada, men or women, is Canada’s team. Full stop.
You see, abso, we call ourselves “Pension Plan Puppets”. We exhibit the ability to laugh at ourselves, but we love our fucking team ’til death do us part. And maybe after.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
Who said the Leafs have been shit since 67?
99.9% of non-Leaf fans, every local journalist, and random non-sports fans.
is this your defense against all criticism?
No. There were specific arguments that were brought up and they were addressed in that post. Another one is that Leaf fans are zombies and Habs fans affected some sort of change in the club’s fortunes. We also have a post debunking that one too. There are lots of arguments to fight against but we have real jobs so we can only tackle them one at a time.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
99.9% of non-Leaf fans, every local journalist, and random non-sports fans.
Well, who am I to argue with democratic results, then?
We also have a post debunking that one too.
I’m glad you have so much educational material on how to debunk attacks against your faith. It probably helps to keep the masses satiated. You should contact a fellow named Chick who does good work in this field – I’m sure he could whip you up a nice series of comics to keep dissent to a minimum.
hahaha
We actually have a couple of jack chick tracts that we’ve converted into Leaf tracts.
So it sounds like what you are complaining about is that people lie (“habs fanz r da g.o.a.t.! We stopped going to games and look! Things got better!”)and we don’t let those lies go unanswered. What if I said that Bob Gainey was actually prostituting teenagers to the Habs players? Would you consider someone proving that was a lie keeping the masses satiated?
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
ok then, lets look at the past decade then, 1999 to 2009
who was the over all best team?
99 – Leafs
00 – Leafs
01 – Leafs
02 – Leafs
03 – Leafs
04- Leafs
05 – lockout
06 – Habs
07 – Leafs
08 – Habs
09 – Habs
hmmmmm
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:50 PM EDT up reply actions
and that makes it two decades in a row
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Outside of everything else, props to abso for showing up here on the day after. Just don’t ask us to not mock the shit out of you for that playoff performance, and we won’t ask the reverse of you, if such a thing happens in reverse.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
Actually, abso,
We have something you don’t have- a future.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
Oh My
This was phenomenal. Well done guys!
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
Way to leave the ladies out of this one.
Ain't nothing but puck drops and poke checks, babydoll.
Now Princess Game Thread.
by Wrap Around Curl on Apr 23, 2009 7:09 PM EDT reply actions
We had to send it by noon EDT.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I told Wrap that we were upholding our proud tradition of workplace discrimination.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Well, there was that too. It’s discrimination or sexual harrassment. Her choice.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
you also left out the Irish
racists
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:27 PM EDT up reply actions
We figured you’d all be drunk.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
well we were, but we still wanted to contribute
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:31 PM EDT up reply actions
The toilet was an after picture before you guys threw up.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
i wouldnt puke in that, looks like someone shit all over it
Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option
by JaredFromLondon on Apr 23, 2009 7:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Way to leave the ladies out of this one
wait, we quoted eyebleaf. (Sorry, couldn’t resist)
Bitter Leaf Fan: a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...
Abso
I will say this, thank you for coming here and being an excellent ambassador for Habs fans. But don’t humanise your side too much.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Hah – sorry. If need be, I’ll throw out some dirty words and unnecessary name-calling in a future post to even things out. :)
by abso on Apr 23, 2009 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, you don’t want other Habs fans following your example. It would ruin the rivalry!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
I did this over at four habs fans and they just liked me more.
IT DOESN’T WORK. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Apr 24, 2009 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions
So good…
Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.
by Down Goes Brown on Apr 23, 2009 7:57 PM EDT reply actions
This post is full of awesome!
Life-long Leaf fan, now in Sens (ugh) territory, recently discovered your blog. This post was so awesome I had to sign up to acknowledge it. Kudos to you sirs.
Cheers!
Welcome and thanks for joining. Hopefully you don’t stop commenting now.
You’re definitely not alone in ottawa though. Down Goes Brown is apparently the king of the city or something.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
City council legislated he can’t run for Mayor.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Apr 24, 2009 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions
Silly City Council!
I’m sure Down Goes Brown would do a better job as mayor than anyone else here. But would he want the job? That’s the question…
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