"How many times have you won the Stanley Cup?" asked a potential future Toronto reporter, as Schenn...

"How many times have you won the Stanley Cup?" asked a potential future Toronto reporter, as Schenn smiled and conceded "We get asked that all the time."

Kathryn Willms of the Star Phoenix in Saskatoon relays the exchange between Our Luke and Saviour that reminds me of an old joke:

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in the park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. "What team, do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."

over 2 years ago PPP 21 comments 0 recs |

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that joke never gets old

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 21, 2009 2:33 PM EDT reply actions

I’m reminded of this 80s gem:

Q: Why can’t Hamilton have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one, too.

Leaf, the universe and everything.

by 1967ers on May 21, 2009 2:35 PM EDT up reply actions

And that’s why I never want to see a team in the hammer ;)

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 21, 2009 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Or
Q: Why can’t they drink coffee in Toronto
A: Because all the Cups are in Montreal

A Nation of Masochists a blog dedicated to Leafs Nation, who are continually punished but keep coming back for more.

by furcifer on May 21, 2009 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions

And then there’s the one we use out here.

Q: What’s the difference between a training bra and the Calgary Flames?
A: The bra has two cups.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)

by Doogie2K on May 21, 2009 5:05 PM EDT up reply actions

I like that one and:

How do you spell DYNASTY in Calgary?

O-N-E

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 21, 2009 5:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Heh. I’ve never heard that one, somehow.

If I wasn’t an Oilers fan, I’d probably find it a damned shame that the Flames only ever won that one Cup during the late 80s and early 90s, because those were some good teams. Instead, I find that (along with their abysmal post-Cup playoff record) to be one of the few things that gives me comfort during the modern team’s long, cold summers.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)

by Doogie2K on May 21, 2009 5:22 PM EDT up reply actions

sounds kind of familiar….

Leaf, the universe and everything.

by 1967ers on May 21, 2009 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

The whole “facing down a bunch of 8-year-olds” aspect, not the joke.

Leaf, the universe and everything.

by 1967ers on May 21, 2009 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Those smart aleck 8 year olds ;)

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 21, 2009 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions

Joke from linked site (edited for this era)

Luke Schenn, Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby all die and meet in heaven. God is sitting in his chair waiting for them. God says to the three legends, gentleman before I let you in, you must tell me what you believe. "Alex we’ll start with you, in what do you believe?" "I believe hockey is the greatest thing in the world and the best sport in history" To that god says "take the seat to my left" God then turns to Sidney and says, "Sidney, in what do you believe?" To which Sidney replies "I believe to be the best, you’ve got to give every ounce you’ve got!" To that God says "take the seat to my Right" God then turns to Schenn and says "Luke, tell me what do you believe?" To which Schenn replies, "I believe you are sitting in my seat"

A Nation of Masochists a blog dedicated to Leafs Nation, who are continually punished but keep coming back for more.

by furcifer on May 21, 2009 2:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Addition by BTD. Q, What would Wendel Say?

“I’m not moving!”

A Nation of Masochists a blog dedicated to Leafs Nation, who are continually punished but keep coming back for more.

by furcifer on May 21, 2009 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions

Ha! Well played.

by JP Nikota on May 21, 2009 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions

A man dies and goes to heaven. They let him in, and he starts walking around.

He walks down a street and comes upon a large house. It has ivy on the walls, and a beautiful garden in front. On a flag pole in the front yard is a Boston Bruins pennant, and the number 2 flies proudly.

“Wow,” says the man, “who’s house it that?”

“Oh that,” says St. Peter. “That’s Eddie Shore’s house.”

So the man keeps walking, and he sees an enven bigger house. It has a large fountain, and huge trees from which tiny bluebirds sing in unison. On a flag pole in the front yard is a Montreal Canadiens pennant, and the number 9 flies proudly.

“Wow,” says the man, “who’s house it that?”

“Oh that,” says St. Peter. "That’s Maurice Richard’s house.

Finally at the end of the street is a huge mansion made entirely from diamonds. The lawn is perfectly manicured and the driveway is paved with gold. A fountain shoots champagne into the air, and a choir sings softly in front of a permanent rainbow. Small children dance in circles and feed cotton candy to bunny rabbits. On a flag pole in the front yard is an enormous Toronto Maple Leafs pennant, and the number 17 flies proudly.

“Wait,” says the man, “I didn’t know Wendel Clark died.”

“He didn’t,” says St. Peter. “That’s God’s house”.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on May 21, 2009 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions

I love you guys.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on May 21, 2009 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions

http://diehardblueandwhite.blogspot.com/2008/07/comedy-hour.html

http://diehardblueandwhite.blogspot.com/2007/09/just-for-laughs.html

my two personal favourites

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 21, 2009 2:59 PM EDT reply actions

Those little shit kids better learn some respect. They won’t get it now, they’re minors, but if they keep this up their 18th birthday is going to be a terrifying guest visit from Wendel.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on May 21, 2009 3:10 PM EDT reply actions