Idle Hands: Montreal Canadiens

by PPP on May 22, 2009 11:30 AM EDT

So you guys have once again come through with the goods with our Hockey Reference sponsorships. All of the spots have been renewed and a couple more have been added. Now it's time to decide what we want each caption to read. We have 255 characters (including spaces) to inflict as much psychological damage while maximizing hilarity. So it's time to put your thinking caps on. No, not the tinfoil ones. Those are for when the league conspires against the Leafs.

First up: The Montreal Canadiens. Here is what we have currently thanks to Down Goes Brown:

Soon, kids who weren't even born the last time they won the Cup will be old enough to drive the cars that get set on fire after a playoff win.

Not bad considering the city's loose grasp of the rule of law. So the question is: Can you do better?

Poll

What should be displayed on the Montreal Canadiens' Franchise Page?

Stick with what we've got

30 votes

Something new (put suggestions in the comments)

10 votes

40 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 47 comments | 0 recs |

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Comments

Remember

We have 255 characters to fully express our creativity.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions

I’m willing to change the caption on Schenn’s page if someone has something awesome.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on May 22, 2009 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

That’s for another day as you can clearly see in the editorial dashboard.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 12:02 PM EDT up reply actions

And no offense to DGB but we can do better with Montreal’s caption.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on May 22, 2009 11:50 AM EDT reply actions

Yeah

Things to try to include:

Connections to mobsters
No Stanley Cups
Hopefully Celine Dion

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions

bonus material? :

bandwagonny, fickle “fans” who only seem to come out of the woodwork when they’re winning

that frickin’ “ole ole ole” thing that belongs in a football stadium, not a hockey rink; and

perjuring former superstars

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on May 22, 2009 1:37 PM EDT up reply actions

Something new...

Although I have no suggestions…

Sports And The City

A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...

PLAYOFFS!!!!1

by eyebleaf on May 22, 2009 11:59 AM EDT reply actions

Take your time.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions

I voted to stick with what we got…but if anyone comes up with a gold mine of awesome, my vote will swing

Mee-Mee-Meep Meep Go Leafs Go Meep Meep! MEEP!!!

by blindfolded tank driver on May 22, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

Far across the gangsters
And burnt cars between us
The Cup has come to show you it’s gone

Yeah… I’ll go back to cut my wrists

"miss u, CR baby...u want 2 get back 2gether?"

by sleza on May 22, 2009 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

something

in Haiku form….

Montreal Hockey
Canadiens bright flame out
Like a car on fire

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock

by blurr1974 on May 22, 2009 12:30 PM EDT reply actions

Does Hockey-Reference support line breaks?

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Don’t think so.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, doesn’t look like it. Could use / though, so it would be

Montreal Hockey/Canadiens bright flame out/like a car on fire

which I personally think doesn’t have the same effect. I also think a poll about keeping what it is or “something new” is kinda silly.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 1:32 PM EDT up reply actions

why?

You either like it so much that there is nothing you can conceive that would be better or you don’t. In which case, get creative.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions

I don’t think I could necessarily do better, but some people here might be able to, I guess.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions

I think we should buy the Bruins page too now.

A Nation of Masochists a blog dedicated to Toronto sports fans, who are continually punished but keep coming back for more.

by furcifer on May 22, 2009 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Page Expires: 2009-07-01

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by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Well time’s-a-ticking.

A Nation of Masochists a blog dedicated to Toronto sports fans, who are continually punished but keep coming back for more.

by furcifer on May 22, 2009 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, but it’s some ticket company so who knows if they’ll buy it again or not.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Time to raise more dough…

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Today is the day for my pledge to come due….but I don’t think I want to donate if it’s going to go to that…

decisions, decisions…

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions

Oh yeah

You are going to send in money. We’ll leave the Bruins alone…for now…

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions

I’d appreciate it.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions

enough to send in the money I pledged, even.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions

Nice

Protection purchased

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions

My Habs will go on and on.

Keep firing Assholes!

This is a dream competition for me. I drink as much coffee as I want, and eventually I hallucinate.

by Ubernoober on May 22, 2009 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

Montreal Canadiens: favorite team of Russian mobsters and pyromaniacs everywhere.

by Blue and White Expat on May 22, 2009 1:22 PM EDT reply actions

i really like DGBs

but it might be too clever for the average habs fan to realize they’re being made fun of.

by daoust on May 22, 2009 2:05 PM EDT reply actions

my stab...

"A proud tradition of attacking refs, senseless rioting, running with mobsters, bandwagon fans, stealing soccer chants and desperately clinging to the past. A cup drought with no end in sight. Rescue us, Celine!"

216 characters.

by daoust on May 22, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions 8 recs

Rec'd

and voted for new.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions

Rec'd

Nice.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions

My hands, they are clapping. Rec’d.

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on May 23, 2009 6:58 PM EDT up reply actions

Hey

it’s saying that the Leafs main page is newly available?

by daoust on May 22, 2009 2:32 PM EDT reply actions

Why, yes it is. Y’all better grab it.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions

and the Canucks page as well. so tempting.

by daoust on May 22, 2009 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions

Phew

That was close. Ok, another $90 needed.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions

in for another $10 cdn.

by daoust on May 22, 2009 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Wooo!

Looks like I am throwing in another $20.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions

where do I donate?

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 22, 2009 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions

http://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/2009/5/8/869352/a-call-to-arms

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 5:39 PM EDT up reply actions

ty

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 22, 2009 5:39 PM EDT up reply actions

How about an update:

Soon, kids who weren’t even born the last time they won the Cup will be old enough to drive the cars that get set on fire after a playoff win, and then get knocked up by Carey Price.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on May 22, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs

Rec'd

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 22, 2009 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions

hahaha

But we’ll link that one to Down Goes Brown. My favour to you ;)

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 22, 2009 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions

gah

I can’t quite put this one together…. something about the Canadiens hopes being like the Titanic and thus requiring a theme sung by Celine Dion….
can anyone make that sound clever?

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 22, 2009 5:34 PM EDT reply actions

Montreal Canadiens; Sinking so fast……

blah blah blah Celine Dion?
Clearly my brain is broken today.

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 22, 2009 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions