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Idle Hands: Cory Clouston

So you guys have once again come through with the goods with our Hockey Reference sponsorships. All of the spots have been renewed and a couple more have been added. Now it's time to decide what we want each caption to say. We have 255 characters (including spaces) to inflict as much psychological damage/hilarity. So it's time to put your thinking caps on. No, not the tinfoil ones. Those are for when the league conspires against the Leafs.

Next up is one of our new acquisitions - the future Bryan Murray fall guys: Cory Clouston. Here is what we have currently thanks to the recent nature of his hire as well as the fact that he'll likely be fired by January 2010:

 

Not bad considering that basically covers what everyone thinks of when they think "Cory Clouston". So the question is: Can you do better? (dear God I hope so)

Poll
What should be on Cory Clouston's H-R page?
His resume if he was smart
14 votes
Anything else because we're smarter (toss ideas in the comments)
13 votes

27 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 31 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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Cory Clouston might be possibly destined to be, if a series of spectacular miracles occur, the longest serving coach in Senator’s history. Maybe.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on May 24, 2009 1:49 PM EDT reply actions  

I’m not seeing the quotebox content. Is it supposed to be “guaranteed contracts are great”? I’m getting that as the picture caption.

Or maybe that’s the point, I don’t know.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 24, 2009 2:13 PM EDT reply actions  

I think it’s supposed to be empty. I might be wrong though…

Как же так может быть

by sleza on May 24, 2009 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I think so. Too clever for me first time around.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure!

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 24, 2009 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

I get it… but I think it’d be better if, instead of just being blank, it said “…”

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on May 24, 2009 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

“Longest serving coach in Senators history”

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 24, 2009 4:07 PM EDT reply actions  

"Longest serving & winningest coach in Senators history"

fixed

Mee-Mee-Meep Meep Go Leafs Go Meep Meep! MEEP!!!

by blindfolded tank driver on May 24, 2009 7:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sorry, who?

"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer

by article1 on May 24, 2009 7:55 PM EDT reply actions  

“I’m not sure he’s the right man for the job. – signed, Cory Clouston’s Mom.”

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on May 24, 2009 9:50 PM EDT reply actions  

J-O-K-E

Look it up in the dictionary.

by Clawson on May 25, 2009 12:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

You didn’t even write that, how can you say it was a joke? Or are you guys one big retarded entity?

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 3:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
The Left Coast Lock

by blurr1974 on May 25, 2009 4:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

thank you for proving my comment worthy of irritating the far too serious fans of the Ottawa Senators, if a random Blue Jays fan gets pissy with it (and can’t spell Jacques correctly to prove their point) imagine how effing pissed off a real fan will be.

If the point was telling the truth, then why the hell would a Leafs website sponsor a Senators coach’s webpage.

Mee-Mee-Meep Meep Go Leafs Go Meep Meep! MEEP!!!

by blindfolded tank driver on May 25, 2009 8:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

welcome new guy, I dont expect any new person to get semi inside jokes so lets inform you.
The past few years the Sens have hired and fired a flurry of coaches, thus the joke of Clouston being the “longest serving” he also had quite a little winning streak going on, thus the joke about “winningist”

also, coming here and insulting the regulars makes you look like a total ass hat. So instead of insulting people next time try to be civil, or fuck right off

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 25, 2009 9:06 AM EDT up reply actions  

Welcome

Thanks for dropping by.

It’s almost as sad as Jays fans believing that this year’s team was going to be any different from any team since 1993. Thank God that delusion is over.

p.s. this caption is meant to be a joke. The Senators are on their third coach in just over two seasons.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 25, 2009 10:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

We all need to rec this comment.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on May 25, 2009 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

LoL

I do think it is a joke that the Sens have had a revolving door for their coaches. Yeah, my name is Jay56 on here, to be honest I forgot it was that. I’m just a casual Jays fan, and I kinda didn’t think that their run would last very long. I do like Cito though.

How come you guys get so angry? And yes, I forgot the c in Jacques, thanks for the correction. I still think you guys are grasping at straws worrying about other teams, but that’s me.

I apologize for insulting you guys. My bad.

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 12:48 PM EDT reply actions  

apology accepted, and I wasnt angry by any stretch, I just think its inappropriate to throw insults around for no particular reason

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 25, 2009 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Agreed, it would seem I was the retard.

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

agreed. apology accepted. And for the Jacques business, you got me goat a bit, so sorry for busting your nut over that.

Mee-Mee-Meep Meep Go Leafs Go Meep Meep! MEEP!!!

by blindfolded tank driver on May 25, 2009 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

I still think you guys are grasping at straws worrying about other teams, but that’s me.

How is it grasping at straws to mock your rivals?

I am guessing most people got angry because someone came here, didn’t bother to take a second to figure out what was going on, then called us all retarded. That tends to bother people.

And Cito is good people.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 25, 2009 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

I look at the topics and I see stuff about the habs and sens, nothing about the leafs? It’s obviously fun to mock our rivals, especially within the northeast division, but I’d rather see stuff on Luke Schenn. I’m sure all I have to do is dig a little deeper but still, that is a little more pressing to leafs fans I would think than laughing at the sens coaching woes.

I had a conversation with a few leafs fans the other night, and it made me think. How do leafs fans feel about Sundin? I mean, there are a billion news stories telling one thing or another, but whats the general feeling? How come so many jumped on the Vancouver bandwagon? Or did that have nothing to do with Sundin, and just he fact that they were canada’s best hope for a cup?

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 2:06 PM EDT reply actions  

well the whole purpose is to fill space, there really isn’t a ton going on in Leaf land currently, So instead of not posting anything, we are exploring other options.
Mocking the Sens or the Habs or their fans is never a bad thing. They mock us without mercy, so why not exchange the favour?
sure you may feel just fine not sinking to their level and good for you. I on the other hand am a childish asshole, so I mock away without remorse

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 25, 2009 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

there are also tons of Leaf related articles and posts the farther back in the season you go, many on the sundin situation, and pretty much every one touching on Schenn and his magnificence in one way or another, just click through the history

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on May 25, 2009 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

I look at the topics and I see stuff about the habs and sens, nothing about the leafs? It’s obviously fun to mock our rivals, especially within the northeast division, but I’d rather see stuff on Luke Schenn.

Since the Leafs are not playing and Chemmy and I are feeling a little burned out after a season of writing about 400 posts about the Leafs we’re going through our Hockey-Reference sponsorships and trying to get the best captions possible for each entry. There is actually one for Luke Schenn coming up. Alternately, the beauty of this site is that you can write what you want to read. So if you want to read something about Luke Schenn you can put together a FanPost.

As for Sundin, search for his name and you’ll see that the feelings are varied right now but in the end everyone recognizes what he brought to the Leafs and what he means to the history of the club.

Those that jumped on the Canucks bandwagon had their reasons. Some wanted Sundin to have success, some wanted to see Canada win a Cup, and some were married to Canucks fans and wanted domestic bliss.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 25, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m an untalented hack who ran out of ideas twenty years ago so you’re just going to have to live with our posts on Cory Clouston.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on May 28, 2009 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

Oh yeah, and I had to have a little chuckle when Habs fans mocked their “future star”.
Poor form, even for the hockey mad, disgruntled city of Montreal.

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 2:08 PM EDT reply actions  

Short-term memories too. Things didn’t work out too well when they heckled Patrick Roy.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 25, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, that wasn’t the best thing to do, not that Price has alot of klout with his play last year.

I’m glad to see that many aren’t angry with Sundin, I mean, it was the media that followed him all the way to Sweden to talk to him. As for the big contract he accepted in Vancouver, well, how many players live up to their contracts? Not a whole lot.

I’m not a fan of your GM however.

LOL @ Domestic bliss with a Vancouver fan. Though they are pretty reasonable when compared to us easterners.

I hear that there aren’t alot of things going on, and yah, I miss hockey, and am dreading another Pitts – Wings final.

Oh yeah, Mock away. I am a Sens fan. And no worries on the Ja©ques thing, I was embarrassed that I made that mistake.

by Jay56 on May 25, 2009 2:59 PM EDT reply actions  

If you are a senators fan then definitely check out Silver Seven Sens. We’ll probably just stick to wondering whether you used to be a Leafs or a Habs fan.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on May 25, 2009 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

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