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The biggest highlight of the event came when discussing the process of arbitration. Barry McDonald, the evening’s moderator, asked Gillis if a relationship with a player can become fractured if he loses an arbitration hearing. Gillis replied (and I’m paraphrasing) "The only thing fractured in a meeting with Kyle would be if we brought a scale.", which resulted in an equal amount of gasps and laughter from the crowd. Gillis was quick to reply to that by saying that Wellwood has a great sense of humour and that he likes him a lot.

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Kyle Wellwood is fat lol

over 2 years ago Aen1_tiny Chemmy 95 comments 0 recs  | 

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Great, now NHL GMs are impersonating me.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on Jul 10, 2009 9:58 AM EDT reply actions  

You need a lawyer. And a gun.

by general borschevsky on Jul 10, 2009 10:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

Gillis is tampering with your hits.

WE DEMAND FRIST ROUND PCIKS!!!!!!

by Clawson on Jul 10, 2009 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

PLAGIARISM!

Being a Leaf fan here requires one to be sufficiently lubricated... and truculent!

by stucky on Jul 10, 2009 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

I was lucky enough to be invited by a friend, and the Canucks put out quite a spread for their guests, with food, activities and photo ops with Canucks prospects.

Strangely enough, every single scrap food mysteriously disappeared just minutes after Wellwood showed up for the photo-op session.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:04 AM EDT reply actions  

who’s got odds that Wellwood cried in his pillow last night (after a successful victory over the Mandarin buffet)

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions  

Tears made of maple syrup, no doubt.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on Jul 10, 2009 10:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

Liquid gold, my friends, liquid gold.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

He wiped them up with pancakes. And then he ate the pancakes. And then a pie.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 10:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Pancake Kleenex. I’m sensing a highly successful business idea here. Someone take it to the Dragon’s Den on CBC, and be sure to tell them that Wellwood has already signed up to do the commercial work, and will work for product stock alone.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

After crying maple syrup onto his pillow, he ate the pillow.

Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic osmosis.

by SkinnyFish on Jul 10, 2009 10:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

Which was easier than you’d think, since all his pillows are made of funnel cake.

Down Goes Brown - Unapologetically nostalgic for the past. Brutally realistic about the present. Grudgingly optimistic about the future.

by Down Goes Brown on Jul 10, 2009 10:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

great, now i want funnel cake.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

agreed.

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Is there anywhere outside an amusement park to get funnel cake? I don’t want to have to pay admission to Wonderland just to hit the FC. (But I would and it would be worth it)

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 10:35 AM EDT up reply actions  

I believe East Side Mario’s has a funnel cake on their dessert menu. Although roller coasters, beer and funnel cake are tempting.

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

Just get invited to one of Kyle’s parties. He’s got an automatic funnel-cake maker set up in his kitchen.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

next to the double deep fryer and popcorn machine?

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

next to the double deep fryer and popcorn machine?

and the cornballer.

Bitter Leaf Fan: a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...

by mf37 on Jul 10, 2009 11:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

hahha…nice choice.

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t know what that is, but it sounds hot and tasty.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

You gotta go to Mexico if you want one.

by Hungry Leafs Fan on Jul 10, 2009 11:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

I love AD references

The Leafs may not win everygame, but they will beat the shit out of you
Truculence FTW

by leafer1984 on Jul 10, 2009 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wellwood works the bumper cars at the carnival on weekends. I’m sure he’ll hook you up for some freebies if you bribe him with a lamb shank.

Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic osmosis.

by SkinnyFish on Jul 10, 2009 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

summer diet is cotton candy, popcorn and whatever he finds in the trash?

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

So he’s a raccoon basically.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

wellwood in disguise?

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Kyle Wellwood you are so cute. I can’t stay mad at you even though you turn over my garbage cans and poop on my lawn.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 10:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yes. He lives in the Tunnel o’ Love and comes out at night to clean the carnival grounds and feast…at the same time.

Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by empathetic osmosis.

by SkinnyFish on Jul 10, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rec’d.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

I always thought he had carnie roots. With his beady eyes and his smooth voice, and the way he can eat and scam you at the same time.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:56 AM EDT up reply actions  

Kyle looks good in cammo.

It’s very slimming on him. And I looove the goatee.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

The summer sun has blonded him out a bit too. At least he’s happy in his post-hockey career.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 11:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

Lookit his left hand though. Dude is still stackin papers. Makin it rain Kenny Powers style.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 11:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well, with a weekly food budget of between $3000 and $4500 (depending on when he gets up in the morning), you better believe he’ s out there digging for the clams all f’ing day long.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 11:09 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

mmm…delicious pillow…I guarantee his pillow is just bags of marshmallows

"I'm not surprised in anything that has happened." - Brian Burke

by blindfolded tank driver on Jul 10, 2009 10:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

Those weren’t tears, they were meat-sweats.

A Maple Leafs jersey curse since 1991.
From Russia with GLOVE SIDE!

by Sergei Puckizin on Jul 10, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

great, now i want another smoked meat sammich from Schwartzes

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

Did you have a satisfactory trip there during the Draft?

A Maple Leafs jersey curse since 1991.
From Russia with GLOVE SIDE!

by Sergei Puckizin on Jul 10, 2009 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

i bought two

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

stomach and taste buds epic win!!

Being a Leaf fan here requires one to be sufficiently lubricated... and truculent!

by stucky on Jul 10, 2009 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

it was artery destroying greatness

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

this has got to be fake, no one in Vancouver has a sense of humour

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 11:13 AM EDT reply actions  

Sure they do. I can’t think of another reason for signing Raycroft other than comedic value.

by Hungry Leafs Fan on Jul 10, 2009 11:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

Seriously, even when stoned Vancouverites get all introspective and paranoid instead of giggly and fun.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 11:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

this is true

I’ve been there

"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
GRABBO TIGHT KOMIKAZI CUZ WE'RE EXELERATING INTO THE PLAYOFFS!!!!11

by Winkle on Jul 10, 2009 11:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hey!

I’m offended by that!!!
(off to find the “flag post as offensive” button on SB Nation)

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on Jul 10, 2009 12:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

obviously you and LfiV are safe inside the Leaf Fan safty bubble, sadly the same can not be said for your husband

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 12:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

that's fine

I will accept those conditions for your statement above.

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games. Hockey is where we live, where we can best meet and overcome pain and wrong and death." - Fred Shero

by Karina on Jul 10, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

damn, should have included fine print

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

hmm?

whatever happened to pudgy’s little brother? I can"t seem to recall, was he not a leaf camp last year?

"the usefulness of a cup, is in it's emptiness"

by Maniel Darois on Jul 10, 2009 12:20 PM EDT reply actions  

drafted by phoenix this year

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 12:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

No.

The Flyers took him. Eric Wellwood right?

Support Your Local Coyotes Blog! -
Five For Howling

by Travis Hair on Jul 10, 2009 5:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

corrected, yes, flyers

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Played with Memorial Cup Champion Windsor Spitfires in ‘08-’09.

I do NOT get tired of typing that.

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on Jul 10, 2009 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

First Burke is questioning Kadri’s parantage (nasty bastard) and now this! GMs ARE OUT OF CONTROL!

by LeafFanInVan on Jul 10, 2009 12:57 PM EDT reply actions  

You’re just mad because Kyle closed down your favorite ‘All you can eat’ restaurant.

“And Mrs. Simpson, what happened when your husband couldn’t find an all night all-you-can-eat fish restaurant?”

(sobbing)“We went fishing!”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, does this sound like a man who had ‘all he could eat’?”

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

When I moved to vancouver I went a little nuts with the all-you-can-eat sushi places.. Then I realized how nasty they actually were.. Hope he’s figured that out by now! There are a ton of them around. All run by people from hong kong.

by LeafFanInVan on Jul 10, 2009 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

When they see Wellwood coming..

Do they all run away and shout “Godzilla”?

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not so much for the Height

but for the girth

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

The scene opens on the sunlit front of an all you can eat sushi restaurant. People on the patio sip bubble tea while smiling and enjoying the weather.

A close up shot of an unattended bubble tea shows ever strengthening ripples forming on the surface. Boom. Boom. Boom. The noise becomes audible as a dark shadow moves across the patio. A woman looks up from her magura, drops her chopsticks and screams.

Kyle Wellwood walks in through the front door.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jul 10, 2009 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company will snap this up in a flash and have Bad Robot produce and direct.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Be-arrr, ’tis not a man. ’Tis a remorseless eating machine.

A Maple Leafs jersey curse since 1991.
From Russia with GLOVE SIDE!

by Sergei Puckizin on Jul 10, 2009 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Rec’d

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh great...

…everybody (including the ‘Nucks GM, apparently) wants to write “Kyle Wellwood is fat” jokes when I’m busy trying to collect 100 Habs jokes. Timing is everything, FML…

C’mon, people, give freely of your snark!!!

/funny stuff, by the way. Well done.

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on Jul 10, 2009 1:37 PM EDT reply actions  

how about “thanks Montreal, your centenial season was as over blown as kyle wellwood daily caloric intake”

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

That’s the spirit. Keep ‘em comin’..

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on Jul 10, 2009 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wonder if we could get a picture of gionta, cammalleri and gomez all standing inside a single pair of Kyle’s sweat pants.

Dedicated to the gradual progression into an era in which Leaf fans could possibly maybe consider perhaps Toronto could might win the Stanley Cup...possibly...mayhap.

by palmateerlover on Jul 10, 2009 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hey JR

How ’bout:

“Montreal, it is so great that Bob Gainey would make it possible for Glenn Sather to say that he isn’t indisputably the worst GM in the NHL.”

FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE "I LOATHE CHEMMY" CLUB

by Mabel on Jul 10, 2009 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

speaking of, they just signed Paul Mara

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

It’s always good to be the best at something, gives people a reason to be proud.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

That’s the spirit, Mabel!

I CAN HAZ MORE?

jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog

"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)

by jrwendelman on Jul 10, 2009 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wellwood stars in Trailer Park Boys

by RapleSyrup on Jul 10, 2009 2:02 PM EDT reply actions  

Wow

He has trimmed down over the offseason

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

he switched to a low calorie buttermilk on his count chocula

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

You got to do what you got to do to stay in shape….

by RapleSyrup on Jul 10, 2009 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

I heard he switched from the “all-cheeseburger and milkshake diet” to just the “all-cheeseburger and whole milk diet”. In other news, the East coast supply of whole milk and commercial-grade hamburger just went dry.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

and Wisconsin is in a state of emergency because of export cheese shortage

"the usefulness of a cup, is in it's emptiness"

by Maniel Darois on Jul 10, 2009 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

I see he’s got the emergency rations in his front pockets, just in case 16 cheeseburgers aren’t enough.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

So when he gets into a fight...

he drops his pants along with his gloves?

by Chutney on Jul 10, 2009 3:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Welcome

Thanks for joining.

Wellwood’s pants could never fall.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Jul 10, 2009 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

They could tear a seam…

Support Your Local Coyotes Blog! -
Five For Howling

by Travis Hair on Jul 10, 2009 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

they are held up by the collective will of the entire canucks locker room

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

And a fake cast in the offseason so he has an “excuse”

by RapleSyrup on Jul 10, 2009 6:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

thats were he hides his slim jims

Because Taking The Leafs Seriously Is Not An Option

by JaredFromLondon on Jul 10, 2009 6:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well at least we know Toronto’s new summer training program won’t allow this to happen

by RapleSyrup on Jul 10, 2009 6:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wow

Wellwood physique makes me believe I could play in the NHL.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 10, 2009 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

But the question is, could you play as well as Wellwood? :)

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." -- Philo of Alexandria

by Baroque on Jul 10, 2009 9:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

HAHAHAH

Ok guys, but enough with the fake pictures of Kyle face on a hilariously fat persons body, let’s get a REAL one of Wellwood.

Amazing photoshop though. Where’d you get the picture of Bruce Villanche topless?

The Handsome Man's Guide To Life- Schenners and Kabby and Komikazi, OH MY!

by Archimedies on Jul 11, 2009 2:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rub the Buddha, baby. Rub it good.

"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09

by kidkawartha on Jul 10, 2009 10:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

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