This is the first sentence, unedited, of the Montreal Gazette's article on NHL free agency and how no one has any loyalty anymore:
The comments on Habs Inside/Out began Wednesday morning when word was published on our website that the Toronto Maple Leafs were in the running to sign Canadiens unrestricted free-agent defenceman Mike Komisarek.
I hope the Montreal Gazette is one of those free newspapers that you get at the bus stop because otherwise I take pity on all of its paying customers just like I take pity on Montreal Canadiens fans for being oxygen starved in the womb. Poor fellas never had a chance.
Among the thoughts that avoided our delete key, posted before and after Komisarek signed a five-year, $22.5-million contract with the Maple Leafs:
- "I really don't want to hate Komisarek's guts, but I can see that's where this is going."
Well at least this guy has some sort of editing process. Hopefully after making a "hate list" about Mike Komisarek he came up with some good jabs that we can all have a good laugh about some time.
- "Mike, I wish you all the success the Leafs have enjoyed for the last 40-plus years!"
No. Guess not. Sorry to get everyone's hopes up. If I wanted a 1967 joke I'd put on a tennis skirt, fly to England and ask Damien Cox. He's better at this than the Gazette because he does it every day.
- "Good riddance, Komi. Welcome to hell."
Mystery solved. The place where sinners go to be punished for all eternity has been discovered and it's Toronto. I've enjoyed Toronto every time I've been. Not a lot of motivation to go to church on Sunday anymore really. Maybe the writer got lost and ended up in Ottawa?
A few suggested that Habs heavyweight Georges Laraque should be instructed - ordered, even - to pummel Komisarek, that despicable traitor, during the new Leaf's first shift against his old team.
A few deleted comments indelicately questioned the marital status of Komisarek's parents upon his birth, or suggested that he engage in an activity that is anatomically impossible.
But forward Michael Ryder was heckled all season for having signed with the Bruins last summer after he fell out of favour in 2007-08 and was left to take up aeronautical engineering, i.e., make paper airplanes, in the press box. That Ryder had a superb year in Boston this past season did nothing to improve his popularity here.
Until yesterday, human gnat Mikhail Grabovski was the most annoying Leafs insect in Montreal since Darcy Tucker, detested for having injured Andrei Markov during the teams' game April 4 in Toronto. Markov was lost for the rest of the season and playoffs, and the Canadiens didn't win one game during his absence.
"If the Rocket could come back and relive his life, he wouldn't believe it. But I'll tell you one thing - I don't think he'd leave the Canadiens."