Komisarek's a Leaf, Montreal: Deal With It

This is the first sentence, unedited, of the Montreal Gazette's article on NHL free agency and how no one has any loyalty anymore:

The comments on Habs Inside/Out began Wednesday morning when word was published on our website that the Toronto Maple Leafs were in the running to sign Canadiens unrestricted free-agent defenceman Mike Komisarek.

I hope the Montreal Gazette is one of those free newspapers that you get at the bus stop because otherwise I take pity on all of its paying customers just like I take pity on Montreal Canadiens fans for being oxygen starved in the womb. Poor fellas never had a chance.

Among the thoughts that avoided our delete key, posted before and after Komisarek signed a five-year, $22.5-million contract with the Maple Leafs:

- "I really don't want to hate Komisarek's guts, but I can see that's where this is going."

Well at least this guy has some sort of editing process. Hopefully after making a "hate list" about Mike Komisarek he came up with some good jabs that we can all have a good laugh about some time.

- "Mike, I wish you all the success the Leafs have enjoyed for the last 40-plus years!"

No. Guess not. Sorry to get everyone's hopes up. If I wanted a 1967 joke I'd put on a tennis skirt, fly to England and ask Damien Cox. He's better at this than the Gazette because he does it every day.

- "Good riddance, Komi. Welcome to hell."

Mystery solved. The place where sinners go to be punished for all eternity has been discovered and it's Toronto. I've enjoyed Toronto every time I've been. Not a lot of motivation to go to church on Sunday anymore really. Maybe the writer got lost and ended up in Ottawa? 

A few suggested that Habs heavyweight Georges Laraque should be instructed - ordered, even - to pummel Komisarek, that despicable traitor, during the new Leaf's first shift against his old team.

As a fan of a good old fashioned donnybrook, I too would like to see Georges Laraque try to start a fight with Komisarek and get speed bagged by Colton Orr. Then with the heavyweights in the box the rest of the Leafs will be free to beat up Montreal's Lollipop Guild first line. This is a fantastic plan Montreal, let's get physical.
A few deleted comments indelicately questioned the marital status of Komisarek's parents upon his birth, or suggested that he engage in an activity that is anatomically impossible.
He's not allowed to write that Mike Komisarek's parents may he been unmarried? I have it on good authority (a total guess, hereby known as Montreal Research) that Mike Komisarek's personal life is just fine. 

Loyalty to a hockey club is a nearly extinct species in this world of free-agency, with players often short- or medium-term mercenaries who lace up for the team writing the biggest cheque.

Yeah that's sort of the point. You already made a 1967 joke so I sort of assumed you watched hockey since then and are familiar with both free agency and the fact that Montreal doesn't get rights for life to every Quebecois player automatically. If there are any questions or concerns about this recent development please engage in an activity that is anatomically impossible: have someone on the Habs not look like a gutless puke.
But forward Michael Ryder was heckled all season for having signed with the Bruins last summer after he fell out of favour in 2007-08 and was left to take up aeronautical engineering, i.e., make paper airplanes, in the press box. That Ryder had a superb year in Boston this past season did nothing to improve his popularity here.
Does the press box jab at Michael Ryder make you feel better about his 4G 3A 7Pt performance in Boston's sweep of Montreal? Just a thought here but maybe the problem wasn't Michael Ryder... maybe your GM is stupid.
Until yesterday, human gnat Mikhail Grabovski was the most annoying Leafs insect in Montreal since Darcy Tucker, detested for having injured Andrei Markov during the teams' game April 4 in Toronto. Markov was lost for the rest of the season and playoffs, and the Canadiens didn't win one game during his absence.
First and foremost, god bless Mikhail Grabovski's little heart. Second, cram it with walnuts about that Markov shit most playoff teams can lose one player and win a game, it's a team sport not the Dany Andrei Markov show. Third, Mike Van Ryn anyone? The Leafs record after losing Mike Van Ryn was really crummy. Rabble rabble rabble. Anyhow, not to accuse Bob Gainey of letting Ryder go after letting him rot in the press box or taking a second round pick for Grabovski or signing Scott Gomez or anything, because those are serious accusations, but what's that guy thinking?

In closing, I'd like to end this with a plea by Montreal to remember how good they used to be, a la the New York Yankees:
"If the Rocket could come back and relive his life, he wouldn't believe it. But I'll tell you one thing - I don't think he'd leave the Canadiens."
Ha.
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