Editor's Note: I would have promoted this to the front page earlier but I was probably stil out cold when this was posted. Enjoy, The Psalm of GM.
As an added bonus, a prayer for your eyes, if you will. OdinMercer has has graced us with this recently-discovered masterpiece, depicting our GM Burke guiding the young Schenn to his destiny.
I introduce to you, dear fans, a different sort of prayer and reading. The verses from this book are meant as lyrical poems - Not simply words to meditate upon, but chanted and proclaimed aloud. They are reminders of how we shall live, joyful in anticipation of the coming Puck Drop, when we are delivered from the Summer heat into the revitalising, crisp air of the Regular Season. Here, then, is a reading from the Book of Psalmings, which convey what Borje would have written if he were not so busy being an awesome hockey player.
37:01 Do not fret because of other fans
or be envious of those who sign top six forwards;
37:02 for like the Habs' Munchkin line they will soon wither,
like southern expansion they will soon die away.
37:03 Trust in the GM to do good;
dwell in the present and enjoy a safe blueline.
37:04 Delight yourself in the GM
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
37:05 Commit your way to the GM;
trust in him and he will do this:
37:06 He will make your truculence shine like the red light,
the justice of your cause like the scoreboard.
37:07 Be still before the Rebuild and wait patiently for it;
do not fret when other teams score in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked dangles.
37:08 Embrace your anger and hone your wrath;
do not fret — it leads only to offensive energy.
37:09 For other teams can bugger off,
but those who hope in the GM will inherit the Cup.
37:10 A little while, and the 67ers will be no more;
though you look for them, they will have shut up.
37:11 But the Blue and White will inherit the Cup
and enjoy great parades, and wings will be on the house.
37:12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and cross their checks at them;
37:13 but the GM chuckles at the wicked,
for he knows they have to try to cross the blue line sometime.
37:14 The media spew forth bile,
and bend the facts
to bring down the faithful and hopeful,
to dishearten those whose ways are truculent.
37:15 But their words will pierce their own hearts,
and their columns will be clipped and saved in ridicule.
37:16 Better the hope that the fans have
than the doubt of all the media;
37:17 for the power of the media will be broken,
but the GM upholds the fans.
37:18 The dreams of the players are known to the GM,
and their celebration will endure forever.
37:19 In times of penalty kills they will not wither;
in days of man advantage they will enjoy plenty.
37:20 But the opponent will perish:
The GM's enemies will be like Dany Heatley's reputation,
they will vanish — vanish like Kovalev in January.
37:21 The wicked turtle and do not answer the bell,
but the righteous give generously about the opponent's face and skull;
37:22 those the GM blesses will inherit the Cup,
but those he curses will be cut off, most likely in Ottawa.
37:23 If the GM delights in a player's way,
he makes his ice time solid;
37:24 though he tire, he will not quit,
for the GM upholds him with his attitude.
37:25 I was young and now I am approaching thirty,
yet I have never seen the righteous hoist the Cup.
37:26 The fans always cheer and roar freely;
their children will be blessed.
37:27 Turn from greed and play for love of the sport;
then you will dwell in the Hall of Fame forever.
37:28 For the GM loves the truculent
and will not forsake his faithful players.
They will be rewarded forever,
but the post-season of the wicked will be cut off;
37:29 the Maple Leafs will inherit the Cup
and dwell on it for five decades at least.
37:30 The mouth of the righteous fan utters cheers,
and his tongue speaks what is awesome.
37:31 The law of Clark is in his heart;
his blood is not punched out.
37:32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very knees;
37:33 but the GM will not leave his players in their power
or let them be beaten by cheap shots.
37:34 Wait for the GM
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the Cup;
when the wicked are sent packing, you will see it.
37:35 I have seen a crazy and senseless man
flourishing like a balding tree in its native office,
37:36 but he soon lost his mind, and his truculence;
though he signed fast midgets, he could not recover.
37:37 Consider the truculent, observe the strong;
there is a future for the man of Blue and White.
37:38 But all Habs and Sens will be destroyed;
the future of their playoffs will be cut off.
37:39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the GM;
he is their leader in time of rebuilding.
37:40 The GM signs them and motivates them;
he delivers them from the cellar and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.
In Nomine Clarki, et Schennis, et Spiritus Burkus,