Söme Åssembly Required.

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Hellö everybödy ånd welcöme tö flåt påck, self-åssembly FTB, dåted Såturdåy September 19th. Pleåse tö be ensuring thåt yöu håve å cleån, well ventilåted spåce för this cönstructiön. Ensure nöt tö inhåle töö much funky glue, lest yöu end up like writing like Eyebleåf. Åre we reådy, super röck furniture fåns? Let’s be göing!

  • STEP ÖNE – Kit will include måny, måny pieces öf pieces öf PhilKessel. First tåke items mårked Dr Steve, Döwn Göes Bröwn, mf37/bitter leåf, jrwendelmån, HöckeyCentric ånd Måple Leåf Höt Stöve ånd plåce tö öne side.
  • STEP TWÖ – Isölåte items mårked Töröntö Spörts Mediå, Puck Dåddy, Höckey Ånålysis, NHL Fånhöuse, Båttle öf New Yörk ånd Stånley Cup öf Chöwder ånd åttåch tö cörrect pieces listed åböve. Prestö! Yöu håve built Mönöbåll PhilKessel! Påt ön båck ånd retire för teåcup.
  • STEP THREE – Tåke å stride båck fröm PhilKessel jöy/wörry. Plåne preseåsön gåme three review by TML Nåtiön tö å smööth finish ånd åwåit STEP FÖUR.

  • STEP FÖUR – Åh! Möst wönderful öf åll steps! Åffix 10 things nöt tö be töö excited åböut fröm cåmp by Dr Steve tö item prepåred in STEP THREE. Leåve för måny höurs tö set.
  • STEP FIVE – During måny höurs, tåke måny steps döwn the låne öf the memöry with Vintåge Leåfs.

  • STEP SIX – Önce dry fröm teårs öf memöry, tåke in pictöriål evidence fröm Gen. Börschevsky ånd the TRUTHULENCE. Burn evidence. Leåve NÖ tråce öf STEP SIX (möst impörtånt).
  • STEP SEVEN – Löök upön yöur wörk ånd be pröud. Åpply tö sing söngs öf påtriötic fever åt löcål spörting event, feåturing Leåfs öf Töröntö.

  • STEP EIGHT – Put seriöus håt ön för å while ånd leårn åböut clösure öf löcål höckey fåcility in Dållås – Actually, you should really check this out - it's a good read.
No more umlauts tomorrow, I prömise.

Late breaking update: Archi's all about Viktor Stalberg - with or without an H.
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