Carlton the Bear Welcomes You to Philthy Phil's Place!
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 5:00 AM EDT
in From The Branches
39 comments
Carlton the Bear has 99 problems, but Phil Kessel ain't one.
Whazzup gangstas? C to da B here, an me an muh ho's can't not wait ta gots Phunky Phresh Phil Kessel out on da ice, scoring go's fo da Leafs and making skrilla fo hiz self.
Lots o peeps been frontin sayin dey no whut went down. Imma here ta tell youz da troof. When BB came ta me an sed "C-Mack" cuz we tight like dat, he sed "C-Mack, I'm in a funk. I need me sum more goalz" an I sayz "Burkie baby, Phunky Phresh is ripe fo tha pickin" an he sed "word"
Voila, Philthy Phil, the Phunky Phresh Kessel iz a Leaf. What chew trippin foo?
Indeed. Philthy Phil has got friends all over. Seems like the Leafs pulled out all the stops to get him if Carlton was involved. Since Carlton is from the streets, let's see how gangsta fresh we can keep these links yo'
- TOV be keeping it real, droppin da 411 on Phunky Phil.
- j-dub makes pimping look easy wif Heroes in Rehab's latest beatz.
- Da MLHS crew notes da lack of baller status an a whole lotta badonkadonk in Buffalo last nite.
- Over at da Good Point, dey go big tymer status on the total ballin-outta-control dat is BB.
- Real GM keepin it real fo sho, no booty cheddar, givin us da steez of BB.
- Die by the Blade, hypin up da vibe of Buffal-izzle last night.
Drop any bomb links I missed in da thread. Word (Man, even typing that I sound straight up honky cracka.)
Late to da partee
- TrucuLeafs getz active wit da sked and sez da Buds beat North Kackalacky fo numba 8.
- My homey, da straight gangsta mf37 sez chill da crunk, we gotz to be eazy.
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HiR:tb HR posting
J-dub!!! I likey. Does this mean I need to be assembling a “posse”? If so, I shall have to get the human resources department on that straight away…duties of course to include “stylin’”, “profilin’” and light secretarial. Only highly motivated candidates who bring their own weaponry and bling need apply.
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
by jrwendelman on Sep 24, 2009 7:08 AM EDT via mobile reply actions 0 recs
I would like to apply for this position. I’m highly motivated, and bring an assortment of weaponry with me, and as for bling? Well, if you grant me an interview, you’ll get to see that firsthand.
"If drunken antics are wrong, I don’t want to be right." - Cornelius Hardenbergh
by Mabel on Sep 24, 2009 1:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Of course; credentials will be important too – can you give me a preview of your resume, perchance? Diplomas, UN awards, excellent video game scores are all a bonus…
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
by jrwendelman on Sep 24, 2009 1:46 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions 0 recs
Certainly. Some highlights include:
a 4 game Kingmaker winning streak, letter of recommendation on my ability to style and profile concurrently from PET, curling percentages from last season (takeouts – 92%, draws – 90%), wit as sharp as a rapier, and a dirty, sassy mouth. Oh, and I was actually the one who got those American journalists freed from North Korea, but I figured Bill could use the pub. He’s signed an affidavit attesting to this.
I will provide a full and complete list during the interview.
"If drunken antics are wrong, I don’t want to be right." - Cornelius Hardenbergh
by Mabel on Sep 24, 2009 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Trudeau used to write letters of recommendation?
Leaf, the universe and everything.
by 1967ers on Sep 24, 2009 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not frequently, but we rolled together. He did like much younger women, remember…
"If drunken antics are wrong, I don’t want to be right." - Cornelius Hardenbergh
by Mabel on Sep 24, 2009 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
He was quite the happenin’ dude.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
by 1967ers on Sep 24, 2009 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That he was, and he mixed a mean gimlet…
"If drunken antics are wrong, I don’t want to be right." - Cornelius Hardenbergh
by Mabel on Sep 24, 2009 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mabel was responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall, where the concept of Mabellin’ was instituted. As in,
She laid an awesome Mabellin’ on world-wide communism that day
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Sep 24, 2009 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
This too. I don’t like to blow my own horn too much, but I did do this.
"If drunken antics are wrong, I don’t want to be right." - Cornelius Hardenbergh
by Mabel on Sep 24, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have no idea what Carlton is saying.
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into Iraq"
- Major Mike Shearer
by article1 on Sep 24, 2009 7:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Lakeshore Boulevard, that’s how he’s street.
Wings fan by birth. Leafs fan by truculent osmosis.
by SkinnyFish on Sep 24, 2009 8:55 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Me an me main man Jezzy F.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Sep 24, 2009 9:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
C be a straight up pimp, ya heard?
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Sep 24, 2009 8:01 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LINK
IAN WHITE: PORN STAR
http://www.sportsandthecity.com/2009/09/ian-white-porn-star.html
(a tad NSFW, but nothing too bad)
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 9:06 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Except for the breasts like 30 seconds in!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Sep 24, 2009 9:17 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
breasts eh?
I…need to go…somewhere
Refusing To Bow To Your Standards Since 2006
by JaredFromLondon on Sep 24, 2009 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
you loved it.
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
“WHITE!!!1”
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 9:25 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
DOOOD
now I have to rethink tomorrow’s FTB.
>:(
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 10:14 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
why so?
was it too NSFW to make the update?
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
no
tomorrow was going to be Ian White and all the links were going to be innuendos.
twas to be awesome….i’d hoped at least.
err, i mean, you be jackin my linkz an makin me look a foo. i gotz da vid showin da nippies n it wuz gon be hype yo
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 10:32 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
My bad.
It can still be the awesome!!1
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 10:34 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
we will see…
and no worries. i ain’t playa hatin. yo my peeps homey
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 10:35 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
word, life.
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
link
yo
yall be straight up wack for missin TrucuLeafs predictions.
FO SHIZZLE
by nikolaou on Sep 24, 2009 9:06 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
DROP THE BEAT
Blurr may party till 5 in the mornin but you gots to drop a direct link in here
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Sep 24, 2009 9:18 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
FO REAL
sorry homie, im striaght trippin
by nikolaou on Sep 24, 2009 10:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Still Whack
Dis be what I is talkin’ ’bout: http://truculeafs.blogspot.com/2009/09/toronto-maple-leafs-2009-10-season.html
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
by PPP on Sep 24, 2009 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
added
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
And props to Blurr...
for using the word “badonkadonk” in the post. Amazing.
A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...
by eyebleaf on Sep 24, 2009 9:12 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
day olds
I’ve marked down the price on this blog entry over at Bitter Leaf as it’s not so fresh [please insert your own clever Doug E. Fresh reference here].
Bitter Leaf Fan: a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan comments on the team, the media and the exasperation...
by mf37 on Sep 24, 2009 9:20 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
added
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Best. FTB. Ever
Resident Cook and IT Superman
Truculence FTW
by leafer1984 on Sep 24, 2009 10:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I’m so proud that the Leafs have the only inner-city polar bear in existence as our mascot.
"We've had an ongoing problem with Grabovski this year." Bob Gainey, 4/04/09
by kidkawartha on Sep 24, 2009 12:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Gretzky is no longer coach of the Coyotes
by Apoca-Leafs on Sep 24, 2009 12:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
thanks
Also, see the fan shots someone else just linked to the Star article over there
"Sanity is not statistical." - George Orwell, a Leafs fan...
Stalk me here...
by blurr1974 on Sep 24, 2009 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh snap!
blurr gotz da mad FTB’n skillz, he be droppin it like it’s hot straight up in this beeyotch!!
word
Being a Leaf fan here requires one to be sufficiently lubricated... and truculent!
by stucky on Sep 24, 2009 2:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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