An Ode to Winkle
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 7:00 AM EST
in From The Branches
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Well, ladies and gents, welcome to your first day under your new FTB overlords. In honour of this momentous occasion, I thought I would take the opportunity to write an ode to my long-since defeated nemesis, who I am sure rolled in his grave at yesterday’s announcement that my presence here would become even harder to avoid. I present to you, and Ode to Winkle.
(Note: Winkle was a user notorious for hating everything, especially Macs, who turned a new leaf and returned as PLAYOFFS!!!1 The following is written with his hatred in mind.)
Discussed at length yesterday, but exciting enough to be mentioned twice, Tyler Bozak was called up yesterday. Here's Steve's input from Hockey Analysis. Don't get your hopes up, though, as he will obviously fail in this role as badly as Hayden Christensen failed in his role as Anakin Skywalker.
Meanwhile, it seems that every other blog is asking their fans: What would you trade for Ilya Kovalchuk? Here's Lighthouse Hockey, Battle of California, Blueshirts Banter, Broad Street Hockey, Defending the Big D, In Lou We Trust,On the Forecheck, Silver Seven. But the Lighting have no room for Kovalchuck. Hey! At least the Leafs aren't alone on this one! But look at that, the Lightning have a cup since 1967. But hey, we're Leaf fans, we don't need hope in the form of trade deadline rentals, we have Phil Kessel!!!
Which of course is appropriate, because the NHL Central Scouting released their rankings of draft-eligible North American hockey players yesterday. Peruse the links and think of the talent we wasted for Phil Kessel!
And speaking of Phil Kessel and how we overpaid for him, MLHS has some suggestions about how Phil Kessel could overcome his slump.
Down south of the border (or, more likely, from the comfort of his cushy office at MLSE) the C's and A's for Team USA were handed out. Geeze, Burke, how can you name a Team USA captain already while neglecting naming one for the Leafs? WE NEED A CAPTAIN!
Nazem Kadri made it through the OHL trade deadline without moving teams, and was relieved to do so. Sounds like he'll fit in great with the Leafs, who never have any players move teams at the deadline!
Now here's someone full of anger like our honoured member today: Pal Hal Pall does a Kessel thought experiment.
Something that even gets me angry: Puck Daddy on Mike Danton playing in the CIS next year. Hey, all you kids in university! We're going to allow former NHLers to play against you, that should really make the games more enjoying! WOOO! GO BUY A MAC!
Spaceweed would like you all to meet Bim Jallsille. Yeah. I'll leave this un-Winkle-fied, since PPP would just delete what I wrote.
Loser Domi has a new LOLee Stempniak for you. Oh, joy. A flashy gimmick, like Micheal Bay movies.
TSM, meanwhile, plays the optimist and predicts that the Leafs will soon go on a roll. I eat optimists like him for breakfast!
Well that's it for this special introductory Winkle-fied edition of the FTB. Now, go get a life and stop talking to me so much!
Update: Pucking Hilarious' new design is out just in time for the Olympics so you can look good while Canada disappoints us (was that Winkle-y enough?).
Update2: Psycho Lady Hockey has a good piece about Toronto fans and rebuilding.
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This is hilarious
Space Weed Says (Insert Generic quote about blog here)
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding
by Kevin Sellathamby on Jan 12, 2010 7:47 AM EST reply actions
Morning Karina!
Interesting theme going. I’m also angry. Let off some steam late last night.
by general borschevsky on Jan 12, 2010 8:13 AM EST reply actions
/slow applause
Well done on #1, Karina.
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 12, 2010 8:32 AM EST reply actions
although I'm slightly disappointed
at the picture as she is well aware of my hatred for neckties
by PLAYOFFS!!!1 on Jan 12, 2010 8:42 AM EST up reply actions
Guillaume Latendresse has 15 points in 21 games for Minnesota after 3 points in 23 games with Montreal. God does it ever feel good for that to happen to somebody besides the Leafs.
yeah seriously i noticed that too that an ex-hab is biting them in the ass. specifically he needs to have a 4 point night against his old team for the Leafs cycle to be complete
Is that the kid you want?
the pressure on french canadians
in that city is intense. Pouliot seems to be reborn-ish, too, so maybe it’s not a total one-sided deal.
but yes, who knew William The Tender would flourish if given a change of scenery?
10 of those points are goals, too.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I'm sure
it happens plenty to other teams, we just don’t pay as much attention
by PLAYOFFS!!!1 on Jan 12, 2010 9:59 AM EST up reply actions
Minnesota plays a much more offensive game than Montreal which could be helping… as well as getting away from the burden he was under.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 11:36 AM EST up reply actions
Minnesota plays a much more offensive game
and the tiiiiiiimes, they are-a chaaangin’
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 11:53 AM EST up reply actions
A tip of the cap to Alex Burrows fantasy superstar.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
What ever happened to Winkle? I miss his misanthropy
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
Winkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is Winkle.
Wait, I mean PLAYOFFS!!!1
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Jan 12, 2010 10:00 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
The LACES were IN!
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 12, 2010 10:01 AM EST up reply actions
Oh, joy. A flashy gimmick, like Micheal Bay movies.
hey! I resemble that remark!
I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans
“twice, Tyler Bozak was called up yesterday….. Don’t get your hopes up, though, as he will obviously fail in this role as badly as Hayden Christensen failed in his role as Anakin Skywalker.”
You mean he’s talented but will wither under the incompetent direction, lack of chemistry, and poorly thought out script?
by Peter de Chatham on Jan 12, 2010 10:22 AM EST reply actions
Are you implying
that Christensen has talent? as an actor?
by PLAYOFFS!!!1 on Jan 12, 2010 10:31 AM EST up reply actions
hes fuckin brutal
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Jan 12, 2010 10:33 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah he's a talented actor:
“Christensen’s critically acclaimed portrayal of a misunderstood teenager in Life as a House (2001) earned him Golden Globe and SAG Award nominations as well as the National Board of Review’s award for Breakthrough Performance of the Year”
It was Lucas’s fault. He kept telling the actors to use a sort of “old timey” style of acting; the kind that Leslie Nielsen used to use, or Gregory Peck, or any of those old fashioned “manly” actors. The problem is that noone is trained in that style anymore, so it ended up working out quite poorly.
Noone, except for classically trained actor Ian McDiarmid, whose overacting in Episode III actually works.
And no, Bozak isn’t as good looking. The most handsome man on the leafs is Viktor Stalberg.
by Peter de Chatham on Jan 12, 2010 10:48 AM EST reply actions
I stand corrected
I mean, Golden Globe and SAG Award nominations are undisputable measures of acting talent.
At the risk of further deviating off-topic on an FTB thread, I will just say:
I am enlightened
by PLAYOFFS!!!1 on Jan 12, 2010 10:59 AM EST up reply actions
Stalberg is definitely the most handsome but maybe James Mirtle can confirm.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
What am I doing now?
Blogging on hockey at fromtherink.com
by James Mirtle on Jan 15, 2010 7:06 PM EST up reply actions
Karina
Fan-freaking-tastic
I have nothing interesting to say.
by blurr1974 on Jan 12, 2010 11:39 AM EST reply actions
your approval is greatly appreciated
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
no usage of XBox though
couldn’t find a place to fit that one in?
by PLAYOFFS!!!1 on Jan 12, 2010 11:44 AM EST up reply actions
I can't tell : is my sarcasm meter broken?
I have nothing interesting to say.
by blurr1974 on Jan 12, 2010 11:45 AM EST up reply actions
haha
no, seriously, this is much harder than I thought it was.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 11:51 AM EST up reply actions
coolio. feel free to shoot me a line if you have any questions. be happy to help in any way i can.
I have nothing interesting to say.
by blurr1974 on Jan 12, 2010 12:00 PM EST up reply actions
OOOH
Bob McKenzie on the Burrows/Auger situation:
And if Burrows and the Canucks think they will ever come out ahead on this one – if they intend to play the ‘victim’ card with gusto – there is the potential for a lot of really ticked off NHL referees who don’t like seeing one of their brothers hung out to dry for trying to teach a player a lesson about what happens in the old school when you embarrass or humiliate an NHL referee.
If there’s one thing we know the Canucks have enjoyed doing the past couple of years, it’s play the victim card. This’ll be interesting.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 12:28 PM EST reply actions
It hasn't gotten past anyone
that the reffing has been brutal this year though.
I wish some one would compile a video montage of all the obviously blown calls, including the penalty and the ref(s) that issued it.
Sooooooooo many phantom calls.
Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.
by nhlcheapshot on Jan 12, 2010 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
I hear the Leafs will lose a 4th round draft pick for this outrage. Actually the best part is when the refs start really picking on the Canucks for whining about this. Epic Emo yet to come!
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 12, 2010 12:35 PM EST up reply actions
I may have to find a way to block Team 1040 from my presence, however.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 12:36 PM EST up reply actions
For the third time in a year, Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis has filed tampering charges against the Toronto Maple Leafs. Gillis complained to the NHL that Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke was responsible for bribing NHL referee Stephane Auger to make incorrect penalty calls against the Canucks in a game played on January 11th. In his report, Gillis states that: “I heard through a friend’s friend that Burke and Nonis were laughing about it with Colin Campbell in the Toronto offices. It’s ridiculous and outrageous.” Gillis also accused Burke of sending in a “sleeper agent” to point a laser pointer beam at Miika Kiprusoff during a recent Calgary – Vancouver game in the hopes of costing Vancouver the contest.
When asked why he thinks Burke and Dave Nonis, Leafs’ Senior VP of hockey operations, continue to “tamper” with his operation as the Canucks GM, Gillis simply replied “Obviously Mr. Aquiliani’s (owner of the Canucks) decision to make a truly brilliant hockey mind such as myself GM rubbed them the wrong way.” When informed that his current complaints did not actually constitute tampering, Gillis replied “Listen, I’m the smartest man in hockey. I know what tampering is.” He subsequently demanded a 2nd round pick for interrupting his day.
by birky on Jan 12, 2010 1:04 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Awesome.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Jan 12, 2010 1:06 PM EST up reply actions
I could be wrong...
…but I think you just called me an angry video game nerd…
by Bloge Salming on Jan 12, 2010 9:27 PM EST up reply actions
The worst part:
They probably have a legitimate claim in this one. I find it completely impossible to feel sympathy for a serial cheater like Burrows, but a ref making the inverse play is no better than anything he does. If the NHL really wants to stop things like this from happening, they need to grow a pair and tell the PA they’re going to come down hard on divers. If there’s no meaningful disincentive for unsportsmanlike dickholes who take dives, the refs they embarrass are always going to carry grudges. They might not all be as stupid as Auger was by telling Burrows he was going to get him, but they’re still going to do it. The league can, and should (and won’t) punish them for doing so, but revenge refereeing is a symptom. The disease is diving.
Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.
by puckurgently on Jan 12, 2010 1:06 PM EST up reply actions
Potentially adding to the legitimacy of Burrows’ claim… from Puck Daddy:
Auger was party to that insane no-goal for the Detroit Red Wings earlier this year; had previously ejected Burrows on a controversial call last February; and, most infamously, was the referee who gave Shane Doan a 10-minute misconduct after a linesman accused him of making culturally insensitive comments to Auger, who is French-Canadian. Doan vehemently denied the charge.
Sounds like this ref has a very checkered history. Obviously this isn’t a guarantee that he told Burrows he’d get him and then proceeded to do so, but it does show how poor a ref he’s been as well as at least one other incidence of perhaps wrongly accusing a player.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
i bet the ref gets suspended
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Jan 12, 2010 2:15 PM EST up reply actions
this is the NHL, so promotions and denial all around!
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 12, 2010 2:15 PM EST up reply actions
Medals of Freedom for everyone!
Support Your Local Coyotes Blog - Five For Howling
JaredFromLondon: ...Odin, he's cool.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Jan 12, 2010 1:00 PM EST reply actions
Looking forward to the leafs signing a guy named “____ James” so we can read James on James
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:07 PM EST up reply actions
Leafs had a guy named Gerry James. He played on the “Puke Line.”
I am not making this up.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
Why were they called that?
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:12 PM EST up reply actions
the feeling they gave the fans I assume
Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!
by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 12, 2010 1:13 PM EST up reply actions
He played from 54-60 (excluding 58-59) and was also a running back/kicker for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerry_James
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
he was going to take some time off after winning the 1959 Grey Cup when he received the call to join the Maple Leafs who were in the habit of using four lines and needed James in the lineup. He played on a rag tag unit with Duke Edmundson and Johnny Wilson known as the “Puke Line” because they were not blessed with a great deal of talent.
I need this guy in the LotD.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
hahahahaha
Look at that winning smile!
From: http://www.halloffame.mb.ca/honoured/1982/gJames.htm
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:32 PM EST up reply actions
bobcat goldwaithey – crazy assed ‘trying to smile but I don’t know how’ kind of dealy
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jan 12, 2010 6:25 PM EST up reply actions
p.s. I really need to verse myself in the names of lines through bruins history, I bet that would be fun.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:13 PM EST up reply actions
Any good resources you can think of to come up with more of that? Or should I just kidnap some former boston globe writers?
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
Thanks!
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jan 12, 2010 2:43 PM EST up reply actions
This is an excellent debut FTB, Karina!
Unfortunately, you should never set the bar so high, cause now we all expect you to live up to that standard…
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jan 12, 2010 7:11 PM EST reply actions
Funny
That’s always what i pictured Winkle looks like too.
A Nation of Masochists Waiting is the hardest part.
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