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Around SBN: The Week In Worst: When Baseball Goes Wrong

Toskala Gets Shutout, Says: "I've Had a Laser Pointer in My Eyes For Two Seasons."

All right everyone, please settle down. I know it'll be difficult as we've all suffered an incredible blow. Obviously this morning we're still reeling from the shocking happenings at the ACC last night, or as I will now always refer to it, "The Events of 1/14.'"

Wins don't come easily to this Leafs team, and a win by shutout is the rarest gem in Leafs Nation. The timing for this one was perfect, as it stemmed another Toronto slide, and pulled the un-fastened fight-strapped jersey over the head of a creep filled Philadelphia Flyers team. Now just to make sure we're all on the same page here, let me take a quick poll: I want to see a show of hands of all you Leafs who played their best game of the season... Not so fast Ian White, you're always awesome. But to the other 19 of you, that estimation is pretty much spot on. Most unbelievably this also includes one V. Toskala. You may remember him from such opposition goals as 'the one a minute into the game', and 'the one a minute and a half into the game.'

Toskala, who in spite of his better judgment stopped all 38 Flyer shots, looked solid, calm and dependable. These words replacing the three adjectives I thought I'd be using to describe him when I heard he was the starter: "Horrendous", "Pathetic" and "Never Kissed a Girl".

He_score_he_shoot_dreams_medium

Star-divide

But for the very start of the game, Vesa didn't stray into those problem areas he all too often finds himself in: Playing too deep in his net, not challenging the shooter, not being able to catch anything, and inspiring despair in his teammates. He did everything he needed to do, and not once did it occur to me to slam my fist down onto my coffee table, a hilarious ritual I've taken up, coincidentally every time he's in net.

See below for the incredible first career goal by Ty Bozak, a kid who is sure to have a great career for another team. With that shot, not only did Bozak score the game winner, but he accomplished the best thing anyone has ever done in a #42 Leafs jersey. Ever. Ever. He also elevated the play of Kulemin and Kessel, and the first line had 5 points on the night, thereby doing everything that they needed to do. Great energy and enthusiasm from Jay Rosehill who had a "I'm so fortunate to be here!" way about him that perhaps became infectious. Other people fortunate to be there: Every other goddamn guy with a Leaf on his chest.

As much as we'd love to believe that Vesa would never hit us again, I'd advise everyone to be very cautious. Remember that when he came back from injury in November he played lights out great, just long enough for us to love him again. Did I say us? I meant me. What? This black eye? I just walked into a door, that's all!

Still, it was a great game, and one that we all deserved to be a part of. The Leafs were defensively strong, had balanced scoring, a perfect penalty kill, and next season Vesa Toskala will look great in a Florida Panthers uniform.

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Comments

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I missed the game

So I refuse to believe Toskala ACTUALLY got a shutout.

And I knew I’d be reading comments about Bozak wearing #42. Sick, wicked and nasty goal. Good times.

Sports And The City

A Toronto sports blog, where unabashed homerism is alive and well...

PLAYOFFS!!!!1

by eyebleaf on Jan 15, 2010 11:04 AM EST reply actions  

Kevyn Adams and Dave Cooper had some great moments, I’m sure….

Leaf, the universe and everything.

by 1967ers on Jan 15, 2010 12:18 PM EST up reply actions  

The best thing is

I may have a valid reason (other than obstinance) for hanging onto my avatar after this season….

Leaf, the universe and everything.

by 1967ers on Jan 15, 2010 12:19 PM EST up reply actions  

#42

I think he picked 42 because its 21+21 his real number of choice.

"There's been four different Cup winners the last four years, and I got one of them (Anaheim) and it was a fighting team. We're playing it that way regardless." - B. Burke, Toronto Maple Leafs GM

by BlueBuds on Jan 15, 2010 4:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Jess Gaite, 18

WIN

Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.

by nhlcheapshot on Jan 15, 2010 11:05 AM EST reply actions  

This is a masterpiece.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:07 AM EST reply actions  

also I’m busy but because Flyers fans are adorable we’ll be launching a new feature today called the “Frowny Face Ledger”.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:08 AM EST up reply actions  

I still have no idea how that shutout happened. He didn’t get help from Beauchemin or White either.

Jess Gaite is awesome. I haven’t laughed this loud all week.

-- Rock

My blog: Greetings From SoCal
My Twitter: RockFromSoCal

by Rock Outta SoCal on Jan 15, 2010 11:09 AM EST reply actions  

That was a wicked-funny write up. nice

Wendel Killer Joseph

by MapleLeafMole on Jan 15, 2010 11:13 AM EST reply actions  

We got called GOONS by Flyers fans. Does anyone understand how monumentally good we must have been last night?

We brought previously unheard of levels of goonery to PHILADELPHIA FANS.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:19 AM EST reply actions  

Is this good or bad?

Space Weed Says (Insert Generic quote about blog here)
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding

by Kevin Sellathamby on Jan 15, 2010 11:20 AM EST up reply actions  

This is AMAZING.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:22 AM EST up reply actions  

Woohoo

Go Flyers!!!1

A Nation of Masochists Waiting is the hardest part.

by furcifer on Jan 15, 2010 11:22 AM EST up reply actions  

According to the Flyers fans they’re all very well educated. If I had more time at work today I’d post an NNN in Shakespearian verse.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:23 AM EST up reply actions  

It’s like the Pope saying "Whoah, see that dude? Yeah, that dude is CATHOLIC, man. "

Can it before I drive this truculence through your faceulence and put you in an ambulance.

by Brunswick Bruiser on Jan 15, 2010 11:29 AM EST up reply actions  

“Man that guy is really conservative.”

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:40 AM EST up reply actions  

his hat is very very tall

Puns, Innuendo and Bad Spelling, Yes We Got That

by JaredFromLondon on Jan 15, 2010 11:53 AM EST up reply actions  

It's like Rush Limbaugh

saying “that mean guy hurt my feelings.”

Glory glory Man United, AND the other MU, AAAAnd the Leafs. I think I need a drink now.

by Wan Ihite on Jan 15, 2010 12:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Imagine if Jeffrey Dahmer met you and said you were the scariest person he knew. You’re officially “King Shit of Fuck Mountain”.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 15, 2010 11:22 AM EST up reply actions  

Okay. Then CELEBRATION!

Space Weed Says (Insert Generic quote about blog here)
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding

by Kevin Sellathamby on Jan 15, 2010 11:23 AM EST up reply actions  

A rare, historic, and glorious day indeed.

Great post Greener, this was awesome!

leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.

by stucky on Jan 15, 2010 11:32 AM EST up reply actions  

agreed.

great post greener.

Who wants to hear a funny ass joke?

by ohshrit on Jan 15, 2010 11:47 AM EST up reply actions  

It’s nice to see everyone in good moods today. I walked in to work this morning whistling and smiling. It just feels GOOD. Long way to go, but enjoying today!
Long Live Bozak!

by Army13 on Jan 15, 2010 11:45 AM EST reply actions  

Great post, Mr. Greener! We all must cherish the awesomeness of 1/14 and celebrate.

Brain: The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say "truculence".
Follow me I'm Boring!

by blindfolded tank driver on Jan 15, 2010 11:49 AM EST reply actions  

If it meant posts like this more often, I’d give Toskala another three years.

Leafs Rumination: hockey and sesquipedalianism.

by puckurgently on Jan 15, 2010 12:21 PM EST reply actions  

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

Slow down there.

Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.

by nhlcheapshot on Jan 15, 2010 12:25 PM EST up reply actions  

FULL STOP

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTERS

Puns, Innuendo and Bad Spelling, Yes We Got That

by JaredFromLondon on Jan 15, 2010 12:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Here's what we do

Sit Toskala until the trade deadline. Market him (preferably with neon signs, Vince Offer, and wacky inflatable arm failing tube men) as a goalie who hasn’t had a goal scored on him since January 8th. And we’re willing to let go of him for just a 2nd round pick. Someone will have to bite, they can’t resist all of that.

Bob Gainey’s still in Montreal, right? Done.

Wait, he only likes French Canadians?

Surely he won’t mind Vésa Tosquelas, right?

Prefers pugnacity to truculence.

by chillin411 on Jan 15, 2010 1:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Had Finnish captain for a few seasons…. until they replaced all the class with ass and didn’t offer him a contract.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jan 15, 2010 1:02 PM EST up reply actions  

replaced all the class with ass

Are you saying the entire Habs organization is just one big third-tier stripjoint? Talk about life imitating art.

I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.

by kidkawartha on Jan 15, 2010 1:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Toskala was still handling the puck like a live grenade in the first period. But somehow it stayed out, and it looked like he settled down once he realized he hadn’t been scored on.

"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky

by Karina on Jan 15, 2010 2:20 PM EST reply actions  

Other people fortunate to be there: Every other goddamn guy with a Leaf on his chest.

Awesome; love it.

by Connie Kim on Jan 15, 2010 2:27 PM EST reply actions  

It’s funny because Jess Gaite wanted her parents alive in the original/photoshop version of the image. Miss Gaite, stop asking for unrealistic things!

Supporter of the Sergei Berezin "Give and Go" - You give me puck, then you go to hell

by bkblades on Jan 15, 2010 5:59 PM EST reply actions  

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