Parade Planned

Parade Route Planned!


Well there it is, people.  The Leafs have opened the season 3-0, clearly proving that they will never lose another game for the entire season on their march to the Stanley Cup Championship.  So I present to you a summary of the parade route that will be happening this summer, so that there is no dispute.  This entire route, without stops, will take 23 hrs 1 minute, per Bing Maps which was quite helpful in the creation of this map.

The parade starts in the tiny Town of Rainy River, with a population of only 1000.  Like many towns in Northern Ontario, it was settled due to the fur trade and lumber industry.  Now, it is apparently a community that attracts birders.  There's also hunting and fishing in the area, both of which I'm sure Brian Burke will participate in during the beginning of the parade.

The next stop on the parade route appears to be Thunder Bay.  With a population of 109,140 this will be a pretty big party.  Thunder Bay is aptly named for being on the shore of Lake Superior, where I've experienced the most intense thunder storms ever.  I anticipate Mother Nature gracing us Leaf Fans with a display of natural fireworks (read: lightning) in celebration.

The third stop on our Parade Route will be the home of Shania Twain, Timmins.  She may not live there any longer, but I have a pretty good feeling that Shania will lead the party here.  Dion will probably enjoy this leg of the journey the most, as he will be serenaded with probably as much country music as he can handle.

Next up is the illustrious municipality of Barrie.  This is the first place we get to that we can actually call a city, and boy oh boy are there lots of Leafs fans here.  In fact, I think the parade will have a hard time getting out of Barrie, since they're known for being good supporters of hockey.  Barrie is, to me, the gateway to the Other Ontario, the place with all the money and the Center of the Universe.

From here, the parade will slow down drastically.  Upon leaving Barrie we can actually travel along Yonge Street instead of just Highway 11.  The Cup will travel down Yonge with a stop at the hallowed Maple Leaf Gardens to honour the history of the Leafs and the past winners.  After an appropriate time here, where we finally see Dave Keon makes up with MLSE and hoists the cup again, as the Conn Smythe Trophy winner from 1967, and then hands it off to the newest Conn Smythe winner, Luke Schenn.

Once we leave Maple Leaf Gardens, and head down all the way to Front Street, we turn the corner and pass the Cup's permanent home, the Hockey Hall of Fame, before arriving at our final destination: The ACC.  Front Street will be closed for the entire summer as whoever the new mayor of Toronto is declares the entire summer a Statuatory Holiday where all Leafs fans must get drunk and belligerently berate fans of all other NHL teams in the city.

GO LEAFS GO!!!!  Links after the jump.

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