L-L-L-SOL-SOL-L
November is a bad month in Vancouver. The clocks roll back and there you are, driving home from work in the dark and in the rain. I'm not even checking the score on my Blackberry.
I know they are losing.
I spend my days selling heavily discounted electronics to wealthy West Vancouverites - the lingering progeny of the landowner class. I won't be doing this for much longer. I want to do something where I'm helping people instead of taking advantage of people. But if I must take advantage of people, they might as well be people that haven't worked a second in their lives.
Of course, they're all gone by 4 o'clock. The store is basically empty now - sixty-plus flat screen televisions display the Canucks in Montreal. Early game. Vancouver just dominated the first half of the first period, just to let the Habs score on a Markov pinch. My coworkers are devastated by the unfathomable turn of events - is it possible the ‘Nucks could lose their first game in over two weeks?
They don't even remember what it's like.
Usually I take these opportunities to twist the knife, but against the Habs, I'd rather the Canucks win, it pains me to say. But they couldn't even do that for me. 10 years in this city have taught me, with great certainty, that as much as I hate the local team, it hates me back twice as much.
I'm almost positive they will lose to Ottawa as well...and then lay a savage beat down on the Maple Leafs on HNIC. Anything other than this result would be a complete fucking miracle.
There are a few unique experiences that you will never have to endure unless you live in City X and cheer for a team in City Y. One of them is ticker watching. The Habs are winning, but I tried to ignore that - instead I watched the ticker in the bottom right corner while pretending to work.
0-1
0-2
0-3
Every time the ticker refreshed the profanity intensified.
I still feel the sting. Every single loss. I wonder if they feel it too?
If the condition of being a die-hard hockey fan is somewhat equivalent to that of being a hockey player, in terms of commitment, adrenaline, emotional involvement, than I have been a Maple Leaf, if not physically than definitely spiritually, longer than Phil Kessel, longer than Tomas Kaberle, longer than Ron Wilson and Brian Burke.
Combined.
I know that sounds absurd. I've never earned a dime from MLSE. I know as little about actually playing the game of hockey as one can know while still being a fan. I can't even skate. But it still makes me wonder - do these men, these lucky few that get to pull that sacred blue and white sweater over their eyes, that get to see the game jersey's emblem from the inside for a split second before smoothing it carefully into place over their hearts - do they feel what I feel? What we feel?
Or do they view that jersey the way I view my work uniform? Something I wear to get paid...until something better comes along. Taking advantage of as many schmucks as possible in the process.
PensionPlanPuppets.com is a fan community that allows members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Toronto Maple Leafs and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editor of PensionPlanPuppets.com.
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Bittersweet eloquence
Sylvia Plath ain’t got nothing on you
by Spezzal Teams Playa on Nov 10, 2010 6:29 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Yea, I’ve been thinking of that scene in Fever Pitch (the Jimmy Fallon one) where they see the Sox at a restaurant enjoying a meal and laughing after going down 3-0. I think this hurts us more than it does them.
The Leafs are my Rushmore
Certified Grabbo Lover and member of the PPPPP
Follow my foray in fancy facial follicles
by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on Nov 10, 2010 10:47 AM EST up reply actions
No Problem
Thanks for the kind words brothers and sisters.
by TMLSiegeinVancouver on Nov 10, 2010 9:31 PM EST up reply actions
Holy crap, this is beautiful.
GameNorth.ca - Gaming north of the border.
by NinjasFromSpace on Nov 10, 2010 1:17 PM EST reply actions
Great post
…do these men, these lucky few that get to pull that sacred blue and white sweater over their eyes, that get to see the game jersey’s emblem from the inside for a split second before smoothing it carefully into place over their hearts – do they feel what I feel? What we feel?
This is about as beautiful a paragraph can be when it comes to explaining fandom. Even taking it out of the lens of the Leafs past few seasons, it’s still eloquently apropos.
˙˙˙buoןɐ sǝɯoɔ ɹǝʇʇǝq buıɥʇǝɯos ןıʇun 'op oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ןןıʍ sıɥʇ
by blurr1974 on Nov 10, 2010 1:18 PM EST reply actions
agreed
I was trying to come up with a way to say it, but I could never even touch this. Amazing.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 2:06 PM EST up reply actions
fact:
paying people to do things that they love makes them stop loving it.
This is why people like Doug Gilmore and Wendel Clark weren’t men. They were gods!
Loving the Leafs is like being in love with a drug-addled, gambling addicted prostitute with a heart of gold and a bunch of humanitarian awards from her youth. It’s hard. It hurts. But dammit! I just love them!
by Van Ryn's Neurologist on Nov 10, 2010 1:42 PM EST reply actions
dammit
I misspelled Gilmour. Stupid Firefox.
Loving the Leafs is like being in love with a drug-addled, gambling addicted prostitute with a heart of gold and a bunch of humanitarian awards from her youth. It’s hard. It hurts. But dammit! I just love them!
by Van Ryn's Neurologist on Nov 10, 2010 1:43 PM EST up reply actions
Incorrect.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 2:05 PM EST up reply actions
This seriously brought a tear to my eye.
Maybe someone should show this post to the Leafs and maybe give them a history lesson of the 1942 Stanley Cup winning team. Syl Apps and all down 3-0 in the series and Hap Day read them a letter from a fan – they rallied back to win the series because they didn’t want to let that fan down. But I guess they don’t make hockey players like that anymore.
If I'd known that it would be 10 years before I would win the Stanley Cup I might have driven into a telephone post - Conn Smythe
if you handed this post to a Leafs player they’d sign an autograph on it without reading it and give it back, saying “thanks for coming out kid”.
follow me on twitter @jimbieniewicz
by Evening News Team on Nov 10, 2010 1:56 PM EST up reply actions
You gotta wonder what the players think. This is what pains me when we see big leaf fans like stamkos who will most likely never play for the leafs. The only person on this team who cares enough i think is kaberle. Probably also Tim Brent but sadly he just isn’t that talented.
by BlindSight on Nov 10, 2010 1:49 PM EST via mobile reply actions
It’d be a beautiful thing to see all the young Leafs fans playing in Toronto, mostly because they’re also all the young good players.
A true rebuild with young Ontario talent that played its heart out at home and knew why no one would wear 13, 17, or 93 would certainly be a sight to behold.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
My wet dream – you just described it
BS
by MapleLeafMole on Nov 10, 2010 1:58 PM EST up reply actions
You’d think guys making anywhere from 25x to 300x the average income would be a bit more inclined to give a solid effort. Especially since the fans more or less pay for those salaries, and they are the one’s who benefit from an honest effort or suffer from a bad effort.
by World's Worst Man on Nov 10, 2010 2:03 PM EST reply actions
I actually gave in and cheered when the Habs won last night.
I’ve taken too much from Canucks fans lately.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 2:06 PM EST reply actions
Much as I hate the Habs, living in Vancouver, with all the irrational, whiny, and venomous Toronto-bashing, I say well done Habs — I hate the ’Sucks more.
That said, I woke up this morning with a cold dead ache in my gut — what if this season gets truly out of control and we REALLY tank again?? My god. ANOTHER top 2 draft pick to Boston?? Are we teetering on the brink of the worst trade in the history of the franchise since … since I don’t know when?? I love Kessel, I so do, but no human being is immune to that kind of pressure, being linked to that level of disappointment (ditto Brian Burke, who I am also a fan of, let it be said). Somebody, please hold my hand or sing me a lullabye to calm me down …
it's OK
everything will be OK
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 2:56 PM EST up reply actions
Wish i could say something man, but it’s Burke’s fault. I am really hating him right now. Wilson needs to be fired, sure, but since Burke refuses to fire Wilson, and he is the architect of all this stupidity, then Burke needs to be fired.
Burke simply can’t evaluate talent. He traded Stalberg and two other prospects for Versteeg, and guess what? Turns out, Versteeg was only good as a third liner facing pillow-soft bottom pairing defensemen. And now Stalberg is doing better in Chicago than Versteeg is in Toronto.
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/daily-chicago-sports-tab/2010/11/blackhawks-need-to-lock-up-viktor-stalberg-now.html
He traded two first round draft picks, based on what? A hope and a prayer that Toskala would pick up his game? He had all the time in the world for a slow, proper rebuild. Instead, he tried to rush things, and it’s been a disaster.
He picked up Gerber, to ensure that in the Tavares draft year, we picked no higher than 7th. Why? Management pressure to get a final month with some wins to better sell the TV rights? What possible f***ing logic was there in this?
He got us Phaneuf. Sure. And how good is he now? Let’s see, overhyped defenseman struggling to live up to his contract in a hockey mad city. Where should he go to unlock his potential? I know, another hockey mad city. And let’s make him Captain too! And look at what we lost: Hagman and his considerable 25 goals. Stajan with his 15 goals and 40 assists.
Burke stands by a coach that players will just not put the extra bit of effort for. There’s a very good reason why the Sharks went out in the first round, year after year after year.
About the only useful thing Burke did was dump Toskala and Blake. But weigh that against all the stupidity.
Weight that against Chicago, having won a cup after having just tanked. Cap trouble? They locked up their elite talent and dumped the rest! Weigh that against Tampa, now coming up as Stamkos matures. Hell, even look at Edmonton, who are having crap year, sure, but are merrily building a solid foundation for the future.
Burke needs to fire Wilson now. And not, fire them both.
Brett Lebda is an anagram for BATTLE BRED. Anger is more useful than despair.
by Peter de Chatham on Nov 10, 2010 3:09 PM EST up reply actions
i think im going to eat a whole tub of ice cream and just rot
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Nov 10, 2010 3:28 PM EST up reply actions
I’ve got a big bag of Rockets that I’m working on. I’m already sick, but that’s not stopping me.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
Now in year 44 of the 42-year saga.
They are.
But we know that real smarties melt in your mouth and in your hand.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
Now in year 44 of the 42-year saga.
by 1967ers on Nov 10, 2010 3:34 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Versteeg was a two-time 20 goal scorer and is 4 months younger than Stalberg. Stalberg had played 40 NHL games and had 14 pts.
Hagman has 9 goals in 40 Flames games.
Stajan has the same point production as Grabovski so you haven’t lost anything there.
Gerber was indefensible.
If you still think that 1st round picks are the ultimate way to structure your team, go check out my post and look over the results from the 2004-2007 drafts. There are a lot of grenades out there.
by Death_By_Leafs on Nov 10, 2010 6:34 PM EST up reply actions
“I hear you,” he says, all thousand-yard-stare and ice clinking the inside of his highball glass filled with straight scotch.
I need another lullabyyyyee!!!
In all seriousness, I’m okay with most of Burke’s moves (the house cleaning, the moves at goal and defence, even with the coach, where I sometimes feel like the rationale for letting the players take the hit rather than the coach is another attempt to rid the franchise of the disease of self-satisfaction (i.e., firing the coach makes the players all rest a bit easier, accountability-wise), but that trade for Kessel … two 1sts and a 2nd when you’re finishing near the bottom of the league … makes me break out in stress hives. I used to grudgingly support it, but I think I’ve changed my mind. I hear the giggles from the locals out here. This one could turn out very, VERy badly. There’s that cold ache in my gut again …
by WetCoastLeaf on Nov 10, 2010 9:23 PM EST up reply actions
My girlfriend gets text message alerts now whenever the Habs score (or are scored against). It hurts.
by Leaf in Habland on Nov 10, 2010 2:40 PM EST reply actions
Your phone is like a pager from hell, does the devil want you to pick up his dry cleaning too?
Rule #20
by JaredFromLondon on Nov 10, 2010 3:27 PM EST up reply actions
I think
this just made me have a new favourite writer on the internet. This is why I don’t write, I couldn’t come up with something like this in a million years. Fan-Fucking-Tastic
I’ll keep at it for ya bro. Hopefully there’s something positive to write about soon, FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!
by TMLSiegeinVancouver on Nov 10, 2010 9:36 PM EST up reply actions
so, alot of us spent the past year and a bit justifying the moves Burke has made, the approach hes had to the ‘re-tool’ and the direction the club is headed. Most felt that many of the moves made were the right ones and that Burke had this team on the right track to make a move up the standings and into a brighter future. Were we just trying to convince ourselves that it was being done properly and that it would work out fine, or is there enough evidence now to show that not only is Burke failing but as a fan base we’ve all been duped by his act?
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
Most every move is justifiable in and of itself. It’s the combined effect that is less than awe-inspiring, at least so far.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
Now in year 44 of the 42-year saga.
My personal theory is that we’re trying to evaluated a half completed plan. Other things need to happen and if they don’t well then we’re hooped.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
I wholeheartedly agree with this. Burke said he builds from the net out – our goaltending is up to league average, with strong prospects developing, our top 4 defensemen are great (at least on paper), and our GA/G is 12th best in the league. He’s only made one move that constitutes “working” on the forwards, so I have to think that in the world of “building from the net out,” he’s looking at the same things we’re talking about. And, just like with the net improvement, we’re all going to end up not lamenting his trade, but how long it took to do it.
The experiment failed: Get rid of the trapezoid.
To take a riff on this morning’s building metaphor, this is a cathedral renovation/restoration. Right now everything is still under scaffolding and it actually looks worse than when work started. Kind of have to wait till it’s closer to done to see whether they got it right.
Leaf, the universe and everything.
Now in year 44 of the 42-year saga.
you probably don't want to hear this
but it took 11 years to build the Sistine Chapel.
They’ve been renovating and restoring it ever since.
˙˙˙buoןɐ sǝɯoɔ ɹǝʇʇǝq buıɥʇǝɯos ןıʇun 'op oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ןןıʍ sıɥʇ
by blurr1974 on Nov 10, 2010 4:13 PM EST up reply actions
Or the Leafs could just be like Matchu picchu
Takes a long time to build, but needs no renovation or restoration for at least 2,000 years
I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter
by Death_By_Leafs on Nov 13, 2010 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
likely
he’s got a 5 year contract I believe. He’s two years into it.
doesn’t make the losing any more palatable, but still…
˙˙˙buoןɐ sǝɯoɔ ɹǝʇʇǝq buıɥʇǝɯos ןıʇun 'op oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ןןıʍ sıɥʇ
by blurr1974 on Nov 10, 2010 3:55 PM EST up reply actions
If Burke ends up with a solid playoff team in the next 2 years it’ll be quite the route he took getting there. All over the map with college signings, UFA signings, RFA signings, trades, draft picks. His way of building this team is definitely curious, all we can do is hope it turns out fine in the end and cheer them on.
It’s frustrating for sure, but I still have seen the signs that there is a good team on the horizon. I thought they played really well in October, even the games they lost. It’ll be really nice to pick up a win tonight…
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Nov 10, 2010 4:17 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah losing sucks but I don’t like evaluating an unfinished product.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Nov 10, 2010 4:28 PM EST up reply actions
neat.
betcha the other hockey blogs don’t have stuff like that.
by The_Truculenster on Nov 10, 2010 5:28 PM EST reply actions
Just because I gawk Team Canada women
Doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same way. (I’m kidding, I can’t write this well)
Supporter of the Sergei Berezin "Give and Go" - You give me puck, then you go to hell

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