So, after conducting my nightly research on the Leafs and their amazing season thus far, and looking at previous game results and blogs pertaining to those games, I have had an epiphany: We need Toronto Maple Leafs Cheerleaders.
You gotta admit, there really isn't much in the department of entertainment for this Leafs squad this season (or any Leafs squad in the passed 7 years or so), so to spruce up the ACC a little bit, at least for the fans, Cheerleaders would make things more entertaining. And my first proposal pertaining to Cheerleaders is to make Dion Phaneuf's value rise far more than his performance on the ice has shown so far: make his long-time girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert the Head Cheerleader. If this were to occur, I wouldn't feel so bad every time I hear Dion Phaneuf is getting paid $6.5M a year.The city of Edmonton had been in desperate need of re-tooling their franchise for a few years (and still are) but their marketing department thought about a genius idea that I like to call the Red Herring Fallacy.
By definition, a Red Herring is a fallacy in which an irrelevant topic is present in order to divert attention away from the original issue. So, for the marketing team in Oil Country, they figured that if they can't present the city with a half-decent product on the ice (the original issue), at least they can divert the attention away from that horrible product by introducing an attention-grabber that will always please: Cheerleaders (irrelevant topic).
For the Oilers, all you have to do is search "Oilers cheerleaders" in images and you will be bombarded with images like this where many spectators are more interested in watching the cheerleaders than the game (probably a horrible display) that is happening on the ice.
So, considering how awful the product is on the ice at the Air Canada Centre, I propose that the Ontario Teachers Pension Plan and Mr. Peddie (the apparent genius marketer) take an idea out of the Edmonton Oilers book and give us Cheerleaders. I think it's the least Mr. Peddie can do since he obviously can't give us an even remotely entertaining product on the ice.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to attend a Toronto Maple Leafs game, but as the years have gone on without a half-decent product on the ice, I am more inclined to watch paint dry because at least paint never lets you down (that is, unless you bought the wrong one, but I don't want to go through the flaws in my argument). But if the Leafs introduced Cheerleaders to the game, I might be inclined to pay the $100/ticket that it will cost me to get crap seats close to one of the cheerleaders.
At the end of the day, maybe we can be entertained off the ice a little bit, since the on-ice product is a failure so far this year.