Ottawa Still Second Rate "City" With Inferiority Complex: News at Eleven

In the season’s final chapter of the Battle of Ontario, the Senators might have managed to turn a sense of urgency into a city-wide state of panic.

With just 12 games left in the regular season, the Senators’ post-Olympic troubles hit a new low Tuesday night with an ugly 4-1 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs in front of 20,405 spectators at Scotiabank Place. - Ottawa Sun

According to SportsClubStats, a website that runs simulations of the remainder of the season and gives statistical probabilities of making the playoffs, the Ottawa Senators chances of making the playoffs fell 2.0% last night all the way down to 95.7%.

Seems like a good time to panic. Ignore that the Senators aren't really a great team and rode unsustainable goaltending from future Metallurg Magnitogorsk superstar Brian Elliott to an 11 game win streak that solidified their playoff position. Panic because a team that probably should be on the bubble might end up near the bubble and has only a 95% chance at being swept in the first round.

The Senators, who are supposed to be getting ready for the playoffs, have to be embarrassed after losing their fourth straight game to the lowly Leafs. Only defenceman Andy Sutton was able to put the puck past Leafs netminder Jonas Gustavsson.

Curse you Mike Fisher. Why'd you have to miss the game? YOU COULD HAVE CHANGED THINGS.

"I can’t put a finger (on the offensive problems). We’ve obviously got our work cut out for us here," said Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson.

When asked if instead of putting a finger on it he could "hit their offensive problems from behind" Daniel Alfredsson turned in a four hundred page dissertation on how goals are created in the NHL with a two hundred page appendix laying out optimal ice time and line arrangements for 15 of the NHL's teams to maximize their production.

Nobody is sure what happened to the Senators team that reeled off 11 straight victories.

Nobody? I went over the reason that team disappeared casually because everyone knows what happened: Brian Elliott won't stop over 96% of the shots he sees forever because he's a bad goaltender. Sometimes bad goaltenders get hot.

Example: Patrick Lalime started his career 14-0-2 and no reasonable team would ever expect him to be their starter.

Alfredsson got under the Leafs’ skin in the third. He was given a boarding penalty when he took out Toronto defenceman Francois Beauchemin from behind. Alfredsson didn’t think his hit on Beauchemin was dirty.

Not really how I'd describe getting under someone's skin. Generally if you annoy another player or goad him into a stupid penalty that'd be "getting under his skin". Boarding a player on purpose in a losing effort just makes you look like a big baby.

In closing:

Rickard Wallin scored

is better than any insult we'll throw at Sens fans today.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Pension Plan Puppets

You must be a member of Pension Plan Puppets to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pension Plan Puppets. You should read them.

Join Pension Plan Puppets

You must be a member of Pension Plan Puppets to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pension Plan Puppets. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker