#deadraccoonmoviequotes - Monday's FTB
by SkinnyFish on Mar 8, 2010 7:00 AM EST
in From The Branches
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1) Get a Twitter account. All the cool kids are doing it, and it's great for breaking news.
2) You missed out on dead raccoon movie quotes yesterday; the #1 trending topic in Canada thanks solely to PPP users.
It all started with this post by PPP member jrwendelmen over at his blog, Heroes in Rehab. Apparently a raccoon bit off more than he could chew, which in this case was a high voltage power line. That sucks, for the raccoon that is. After being posted in Sunday's FTB, word of the amazing photo spread throughout the Barilkosphere until member KidKawartha got ahold of it and posted this on Twitter:
@warwalker Six wardens have been through in my tenure, and I've learned one immutable, universal truth: dead animal pics are funny to guys.
From that the #deadraccoonmoviequotes hashtag was born. My favorites and the morning's links after the jump.
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dead raccoon! - felixpotvin (aka Chemmy)
You know what I'd do with a million dollars? Two dead raccoons at the same time. - SkinnyFish
I'll have what the dead raccoon is having. - JaredOfLondon (Cousin of JaredFromLondon)
When this dead raccoon hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit. - tarrka
Dead raccoons. Why does it always have to be dead raccoons? - for Fergus30
I can't believe I gave my dead raccoon to a geek. - mlse (aka PPP)
My mom's been fuckin' a dead raccoon for 30 years. I call him dad. - metricjulie (Habs Fan)
and my personal favorite;
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a dead raccoon, asking it to love her. - SkinnyFish
And now for some links
Bloge Salming has a new video up and WHY HAVEN'T YOU CLICKED THE LINK YET?!?! [Bloge Salming]
A game recap courtesy of the bag guys [Broad Street Hockey]
A game recap courtesy of the good guys [Globe and Mail]
A Toronto based hockey team won last night! Huzzah! [Globe and Mail]
It's time to say goodbye to Lee Stempniak [WWoLD]
Did the weekend's only win give Leaf fans something to look forward to in the future [Vintage Leaf Memories]
Vintage Leafs with more goodies for you [Vintage Leafs]
The headline is very misleading; you shouldn't beat a dead horse [The Good Point]
Morning Additions
There's a new deputy sheriff in town down at the Ricoh [The Star]
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Don't forget...:
…@archluke; his contribution to the noble splendour that was the #deadraccoonmoviequotes phenomenon cannot be underestimated. He took this thing out of the realm of “idle chit chat between two idiots” and made it “idle chit chat between THREE idiots”, the most rapid (50%) expansion of the trend in it’s brief history. He believed in #deadraccoonmoviequotes, man. He BELIEVED.
jrwendelman
The Artist Formerly Known as "Junior", who blogs at heroesinrehab.ca/blog
"But if someone so eager to engage into fist talk, we can always meet after season end in Minsk." (Mikhail Grabovski and a well-meaning but not particularly skillful translator)
by jrwendelman on Mar 8, 2010 7:38 AM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Yeah
He’s good at making trending topics.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Mar 8, 2010 9:43 AM EST up reply actions
A couple people had assumed I started this one. I’m flattered that when people see “idiotic (but awesome) Twitter topic,” they think of me, but I think the real hero here is jrwendelman’s wife. for pointing the raccoon out to him the first place.
You missed out on dead raccoon movie quotes yesterday; the #1 trending topic in Canada thanks solely to PPP users.
We’re pretty much the online Illuminati.
I have a thing I never update and a Twitter account
then why aren’t we rich?
WHY???
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 11:09 AM EST up reply actions
We are, in theoretical dollars.
I have a thing I never update and a Twitter account
by puckurgently on Mar 8, 2010 11:12 AM EST up reply actions
I’m just gonna throw this out there.
If Burke traded Kaberle to Boston for our 2011 first round pick, do you think he’d make an offer sheet to Ryan Kesler? I think he’ll resign in Vancouver, as they should have the money. He just seems like one of the few RFA’s Burke would go after.
Jeff Jackson is out. Dave Nonis new GM of the Marlies.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
I’m surprised it took Jackson this long to bolt.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Mar 8, 2010 9:43 AM EST up reply actions
I wonder if he’s the last of the JFJ hires?
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
I think some of the scouts might still be Fergusonites.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
I’ve edited the podcast down to a 35 second clip of you asking for there to be a laugh track. Mission accomplished.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I’m surprised there are 35 quality seconds of recording for you to use.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
I like this plan to underpromise, overdeliver.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
“My personal favorite” [inserts own quote]
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I’m biased. Sue me.
I've always wanted to be a PPP Princess. You see kids, you can be anything you want to be; so long as Jay Leno doesn't also want to be that.
YESSSSS. Now we can partake in America’s second favorite pastime: lawsuits!
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
America’s favourite pastime: Eating!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Mar 8, 2010 9:57 AM EST up reply actions
I think I’m going to edit out the whole Leafspace thing before they stab us, btw
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
If you don’t include it in the theatrical release, at least leave it in the extended unrated director’s cut.
I've always wanted to be a PPP Princess. You see kids, you can be anything you want to be; so long as Jay Leno doesn't also want to be that.
Maybe it’ll go in next week’s “Deleted Scenes”
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
Probably a good idea. I can’t be looking over my shoulder for snipers the rest of my life.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
I think my plan right now is to hope the last half hour is mostly coherent and just run that.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
From what I gauged there is at least 20 good minutes in those 90. Can’t wait to hear the laugh track.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
I think deleting the discussion of social media is a smart move.
Be kinda strange to have a half-assed podcast of we three mouth breathers criticizing/questioning an organization that’s going to bring in nearly half a billion in revenues this year.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
Careful
We’ll have to stop blogging!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
Honestly I wanted to cut it when one single person got dragged into the discussion somewhat unfairly. The people in question deserve some flack but not all of them.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I trust you’re mad editing skills (or is it “skillz?”)
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
D’oh! Should be:
I trust your mad editing skills.
Guess that’s why you’re the editor.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
Really I’m expecting to listen to this and go “we shouldn’t record at midnight”.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
If not for your ticket waiting list line I’d scrap last night and call it practice
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
Naw
The real killer line was about how Ovaltine should be called Roundtine
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
I didn’t even hear that. When did that happen?
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
You’re stealing jokes from Bania now? (shakes head sadly…)
Resident Capologist
Toskala Cap Counter - RIP
Well, it did better than the Risk Management joke. Seinfeld’s a hack.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
Did anyone say “puke?” That’s a funny word.
I have a thing I never update and a Twitter account
by puckurgently on Mar 8, 2010 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
I liked the “you know who, you know where” mystery section but yeah, probably the right idea.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
I think we have a legitimate beef and it’s something that bears mentioning but there are too many people that will get dragged in and it’s not their fault.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
The Star
Has a breakdown of Crosby’s Golden Goal.
Also, this gem from Burkie
“He was gracious in his comments by saying, `I don’t remember what I did,’” Burke says of Crosby. “But that’s bullshit.”
The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway
by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on Mar 8, 2010 9:52 AM EST reply actions
New research suggests an abundance of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) increases the ability to learn and retain information as young athletes put in the 10,000 or so hours of training necessary to become elite. This allows skills to be learned younger, faster and more permanently, and hands budding superstars confidence they carry into adulthood.
Wow….
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 12:34 PM EST up reply actions
strange
somehow after clicking the jump I went to Much Music?
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 11:08 AM EST reply actions
CanCon laws
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Mar 8, 2010 11:10 AM EST up reply actions
uhm, Leafer?
Go Flyers?
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 11:11 AM EST up reply actions
I saw a link on twitter about the maturation of Carcillo and wanted a laugh
Fairweather fans can go to hell
hahahahaha
just like how Matt Cooke’s matured, right?
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 11:19 AM EST up reply actions
Flyers fans are basically congratulating him for turnign down Orr’s invitation to fight yesterday. THEN were like good job for getting Phaneuf to retaliate. Fuckin Flyers fans
Fairweather fans can go to hell
the only thing that bugs me is that the leafs should know by now that all carcillo does is try and get you to take penalties, the leafs need to play smarter than trying to chase that rat around all night
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Mar 8, 2010 11:30 AM EST up reply actions
The Flyers have one of the best power plays in the NHL. If their pest can goad teams into taking penalties that seems like a pretty smart plan.
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
I despise the Flyers and their fans, so I’m loath to give them any credit where it’s due, but you are correct. Carcillo may be a jackass but he’s good at what he does; getting under people’s skin to give his team powerplay chances.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
Wendel Clark: Let them eat cake
- reviews Toronto’s best chocolate cakes.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
Watch! Wendel Clark eat cake!
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Mar 8, 2010 1:19 PM EST up reply actions
Nonis
Do we think we can keep him in the long run? Or is he going to go somewhere else to be a GM himself. I’ve liked him here…
I’m pretty sure he’ll end up somewhere else. But I really like having him work for us, he seems to do a lot of the heavy lifting while Burke deals with the media.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
i think
that burke will resign once the season is over and Nonis will take over. I’m basing this on nothing but pure speculation, but the guy’s kid just died.
I speculate that the reason we were so disappointed with the deadline this year was because Burke just didn’t have the energy to hustle the other GMs like he used to.
Honestly, the dead of Brendan, more than anything else, will impact Burke’s abilities. When it’ll be his turn to get grilled at the 2010 entry draft, when Toronto isn’t selecting until the 3rd round, I don’t think he’ll have the energy to defend it anymore.
by Peter de Chatham on Mar 8, 2010 2:39 PM EST up reply actions
while no doubt Brendans death had an effect on Burke, I don’t think it had much to do with the deadline, from what I’ve heard he has never been much of a deadline deal maker (if my facts are wrong please correct me)
Who wants to go to the Olive Garden?
by JaredFromLondon on Mar 8, 2010 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
Really? I doubt that. While I agree with you that his son’s death has greatly affected Burke, I think he’s a proud man who relishes the idea of bringing a championship to the hungriest fanbase in the league.
Most of the deadline work was done by Nonis this year. And last, IIRC.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
They’re a good tandem if you ask me… Don’t know how Nonis feels about it, but Burke dealing with all the media and Nonis doing a lot of the back-office wheeling and dealing seems to work for both of their strengths.
I see Burke as the face of the organization and Nonis as the brain that keeps everything running smoothly. I’ll be sad to see Nonis go, but it’s hard to say he doesn’t deserve it.
Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.
yeah
they do seem to work well together – Nonis certainly never handled the media as well as Burke did while he was in charge in Vancouver (although the media ended up hating Burke and defending Nonis, at the end).
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 2:53 PM EST up reply actions
im not sure why nonis would want to leave, he’ll make more here and he and burke are essentially a tandem, why wouldnt nonis want to be part of something special in toronto
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
Sometimes guy’s want to have the shot to be their own boss. If were an assistant GM and had the chance to run another team, I’d certainly look at jumping ship.
Bitter Leaf Fan: because sometimes there's no option but to be bitter...
And Nonis especially seems to deserve a chance, given the strange circumstances of his losing his position with the Canucks.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 3:58 PM EST up reply actions
yea, im just hoping the thought of being part of a champion here is enticing enough to want to stay
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
In this case, it may be better to be the #2 guy here than a #1 guy say, in Atlanta…
bye Don
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Mar 8, 2010 4:26 PM EST up reply actions
If were an assistant GM and had the chance to run another team, I’d certainly look at jumping ship
It’s the unfortunate truth, not just in hockey but any business. If the only position to move up is held by a guy holding a 5 year contract and doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere, a movement to a rival team is the only way to advance professionally.
I really do want Nonis to stay, but if he has the chance to be promoted by going to another team, I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest. If it was my career of course I would do it.
Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.
“His turn” to get grilled about not having a pick till the 3rd round has pretty much been since Sept. 18, 2009.
Meanwhile, nobody seemed to notice (or care) that the Islanders traded away seven picks in the draft to move up to #12 last year, and then went off the board for that selection.
Resident Capologist
Toskala Cap Counter - RIP
It’s the Leafs
It’s the Isles.
Isles also picked #1 so most of their media was focused on Tavares.
Leafs Nation: A drinking team with a hockey problem.
Oh I know.
But Petey up there made it seem like the media was just realizing the Leafs don’t have a draft pick until the 3rd round. This fact has kept Toronto sports radio in business since mid September..
Resident Capologist
Toskala Cap Counter - RIP
I took his point to be that the media will put extra scrutiny on Burke come draft time, not that they haven’t already been harping on this point.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 4:00 PM EST up reply actions
HAH, true, but has that ever stopped the MSM?
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 4:41 PM EST up reply actions
If the 2010 draft broadcast is going to be nothing but a hindsight analysis of the Kessel deal, I’m going to start a fundraiser to send Chemmy, Jared, SF and a ponykeg to LA and just heckle the TSN guys for 2 full days while wearing Kessel jerseys.
Resident Capologist
Toskala Cap Counter - RIP
I think this needs to happen regardless of what the TSN guys say.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
I doubt TSN would be the ones criticizing the deal, they are far more pro-Toronto than that.
Newspaper articles, however, may get more insane.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 5:03 PM EST up reply actions
Pro Toronto as in
not as anti toronto as most other sports media
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Mar 8, 2010 6:38 PM EST up reply actions
Ok, my point is
it’s quite a bit different to have something off in the distance and to have it happening right the fuck now.
It’s the difference between dreading a layoff you know is coming and actually getting a pink slip. One turns your stomach, the other is a straight up punch in the baby maker.
Toronto’s pick has a realistic chance of even being the first overall, even with the weighted lottery. So if you think you’ve seen outrage from fans and media now, imagine when Taylor Hall puts on that Bruins jersey. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
by Peter de Chatham on Mar 8, 2010 4:01 PM EST up reply actions
From Elliotes 30 thoughts
16) Brian Burke, by the way, said on Inside Hockey it’s more likely Kaberle is re-signed this summer as opposed to being traded.
Is this something you guys think will happen?
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
yeah
I really do think that Kaberle wants to stay in Toronto, and will take a reasonable deal to do so.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 4:39 PM EST up reply actions
I think he’s going to want a raise, and I really don’t want to give him one.
Too close for missiles, I'm switching to dead raccoons.
I can’t see him getting one either.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 5:04 PM EST up reply actions
No? He makes 4.25 now. Part of his marketability for the last couple years is supposed to have been his contract. I think he gets a bump.
Too close for missiles, I'm switching to dead raccoons.
how much of a bump?
I can’t see Burke giving him $5 mill. Not with Kaberle’s extension having to come so close to Schenn’s next contract, and with Phaneuf and Komisarek still on the books.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 5:08 PM EST up reply actions
No matter how much he plays the “I just want to be in Toronto” card, I’m pretty sure he (and his agent) know that if he doesn’t drop off significantly next year, someone will probably give him 5+. I don’t see him signing an extension for less.
Too close for missiles, I'm switching to dead raccoons.
Yeah, but I fully expect Burke to test the “i just want to be in Toronto” card as hard as possible. Before the draft.
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Mar 8, 2010 5:16 PM EST up reply actions
Also
no NMC for Kabby this time around
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Mar 8, 2010 6:39 PM EST up reply actions
Could you imagine what the reaction would be like if he Burke gave him one?
The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway
by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on Mar 8, 2010 7:15 PM EST up reply actions
Burke may still be saying that for optics. Don’t want it to be too obvious public knowledge that you want to trade a guy when you can’t even try to do it for months. Plus it would be disrespectful of a player who has served the Leafs long and well like Kaberle has, and Burke does respect his players.
That said, I still think Burke will try and look for a good trade to make. I honestly don’t see how else we get more forward help for next season without a trade, and Kabby is still the most likely candidate to go.
leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.
Whatever. The one dead raccoon quote I did was the best:
My raccoon is a homosexual and I love him. I love my dead gay raccoon!
As per new community rules; all signature tags on PPP must contain the word "truculent".
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
by Wrap Around Curl on Mar 8, 2010 6:57 PM EST reply actions
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