Pansy Portions No More!

by PPP on May 6, 2010 2:39 PM EDT in News

Some people might say that we only insult other teams on this blog - that's wrong, we also insult our own team - or that we don't provide 'value' or 'analysis' to coverage of the Leafs. Well, those people can kindly [Jiri Tlusty Level 451] and then eat it. In addition to creating internet memes like Throw The Snake and helping to keep mischievous anti-Canadiens campaigns alive and trying to get the City of Toronto to recognise Saskatchewan's favourite son with a park we keep a vigilant eye on the behemoth that is Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. In retrospect, we clearly have a lot of free time on our hands but I digress.

Earlier in the week we brought you the story of the depraved Tony Glitz and the new Real Sports Bar and Grill in Maple Leaf Square across from the Air Canada Centre. The dirty corporate shame at the centre of the storm was Glitz's hatred of 'pansy portions'.

The word choice was tone deaf to say the least. Today, Real Sports made their first appearance on Twitter so I put on my investigative reporter hat (it's really just my dad's fedora with a playing card with 'MEDIA' scribbled on it) and decided to see if our report had any impact:

That's right folks, when PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries and Kitten Ranch LLC is out of ideas and blogs about ridiculous topics MLSE listens! Hmmm, they also took out the part about not having inflated prices. As a seasoned visitor to the ACC I must express my complete and utter shock at that move. Sadly, our work is still not done. Real Sports Bar and Grill will still feature terrible beer choices from the owners of the Montreal Canadiens including one called '67' (how clever). The website still blasts the same kind of horrible music heard on every MySpace page and if you read it in your imagined Tony Glitz voice it will still creep the hell out of you.

Maybe this means that Affliction t-shirts won't be part of the required dress code or that the place will be renamed Not Quite As Real As We Wanted Sports Bar and Grill. We won't know until it opens in June, but any way you cut it this is another victory for the Barilkosphere. We Did It!

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Kitten ranch? is taht where ranch dressing is from?

Article1: "I WANT HER TO BE A PRINCESS! THIS MAKES HER LOOK LIKE A SLUT!"

by loser domi on May 6, 2010 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

It’s where the next big thing in sports bar food is being developed- deep-fried kitten legs.

I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.

by kidkawartha on May 6, 2010 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions

mmmm

kittens

/sent with a cat on my lap

Article1: "I WANT HER TO BE A PRINCESS! THIS MAKES HER LOOK LIKE A SLUT!"

by loser domi on May 6, 2010 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions

Don’t ask where the ranch dressing comes from. It’s secretly made by Tony Glitz in the restaurant’s back office which has a small CRT television, a VCR, and a copy of Firemen Frenzy 5 on VHS.

I've always wanted to be a PPP Princess. You see kids, you can be anything you want to be; so long as Jay Leno doesn't also want to be that.

by SkinnyFish on May 6, 2010 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions

booooooooooo

"...sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd."

by Fergus30 on May 6, 2010 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Is it being used for pastry filler? NSFW

I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.

by kidkawartha on May 6, 2010 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions

You don’t ask what’s in the dressing, and Tony Glitz won’t tell.

Purveyor of Pension Plan Puppets Podcast Post-Production

by puckurgently on May 6, 2010 7:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Tony Glitz likes to party like a fireman?

by Godd Till on May 7, 2010 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions

I’m concerned their bowing down to not using un-PC phrases will put a dent in our campaign to have a statue of Wendel covered in blood up outside the ACC.

I am Mikhail Grabovski's smirking revenge.

by kidkawartha on May 6, 2010 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

Well, is it the blood of our enemies? That’s always PC…

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.

by PPP on May 6, 2010 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions

If you drink Molson beer, you’re funding terrorism.

http://bluechipprospects.blogspot.com

by Curt S on May 6, 2010 2:55 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

If you flip, then burn police cars, you must be a terrorist – connection made.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on May 6, 2010 4:56 PM EDT up reply actions

What if you burn and then flip police cars?

Truculence...starting 10/1/09

by LeafBoy on May 6, 2010 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Then you are a terrorist who ends up in a burn ward.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on May 6, 2010 5:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Well done

And they say democracy doesn’t work.

The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway

by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on May 6, 2010 2:57 PM EDT reply actions

Excellent work!

Admirably you have preserved the rights of all people to live in a society that doesn’t discriminate against them. Well done!

Besides, this whole ordeal was taking too much attention away from all the fat jokes.

In Burke We Trust
"Follow me...":http://www.twitter.com/Kohma

by Kohma on May 6, 2010 3:10 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs

Why do i get the feeling that many MLSE employees check PPP as soon as they get to work….

There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

by Matt_Roberts on May 6, 2010 3:13 PM EDT reply actions

/waves HI MLSE EMPLOYEES!!

"...sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd."

by Fergus30 on May 6, 2010 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Maybe they’re not checking PPP enough, amirite?

leaf fan stuck in ottawa, a localized black hole that will suck everything in that area to oblivion.

by stucky on May 6, 2010 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions

RICK NASH

"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky

by Karina on May 6, 2010 4:55 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

I still want nachos with false mustaches.

Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 6, 2010 3:16 PM EDT reply actions

I got my Wendel Clark one in the mail recently.

The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway

by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on May 6, 2010 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions

Wait… does this mean all the portions will now be pansy sized?

There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

by Matt_Roberts on May 6, 2010 3:21 PM EDT reply actions

I dunno, pansy-sized is pretty small.

Article1: "I WANT HER TO BE A PRINCESS! THIS MAKES HER LOOK LIKE A SLUT!"

by loser domi on May 6, 2010 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

WE WANT CHILLY WILLY!!

If my nose was full of nickels I would blow it all on you.

by Kenjamin on May 6, 2010 4:10 PM EDT reply actions

I so want to go here if only to experience the culinary flair Tony just tosses in from various places around the world he’s sort of heard of from elementary school.

Supporter of the Sergei Berezin "Give and Go" - You give me puck, then you go to hell

by bkblades on May 6, 2010 4:30 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs