Caption Contest!
Dan Ellis and Mike Smith of the Tampa Bay Lightning are catching up. What are they saying to each other?
over 1 year ago
PPP
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Dan Ellis Says...
You mean most people DONT have a jaguar AND a bmw AND a detached house??? Holy shit I’m starting to get it….
Dan Ellis says...
I’ve got 99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one..
In Lou We Trust: Freshly signed to the last 15 year deal in the history of SBNation
If the quality of my posts begin to get better, it's because i'm doing steroids.
by Kevin Sellathamby on Sep 8, 2010 11:07 AM EDT reply actions
Dan Ellis sez.
I think I’m going to get one of those Cuban sandwiches for lunch, how long’s the flight to Cuba again?
by twoeightnine on Sep 8, 2010 11:08 AM EDT reply actions 5 recs
YES!
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
Mike Smith says...
“the fuck’s a twitter?”
"Tell Sigmund Freud not to worry about his mother, I took good care of her last night. BOOYAH."
Certified Grabbo lover
by loser domi on Sep 8, 2010 11:10 AM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Mike Smith Says
“Since when do people care what back-ups think?”
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Sep 8, 2010 11:12 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Dan to Mike..
Any idea what the restocking fee is for a Jag? Might return it.
The Home of Cellblock 303 - Section303.com
Dan Ellis says...
What’s the deal with back-ups making more than specialists?
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
Dan: "You know, old boy, I honestly cannot taste the difference between this imported hand-chiseled Himalayan glacier water and your “essence of endangered dolphins’ tears.” Perhaps I shall write a strongly worded letter to the manufacturers."
Mike: “Jolly good, sir. Now, back to the matter at hand. I propose a balloon race! Around the world! Winner takes full ownership of US Steel.”
by Butterflies and Black Aces on Sep 8, 2010 11:15 AM EDT reply actions 9 recs
rec'd
for “essence of endangered dolphins’ tears”
"Tell Sigmund Freud not to worry about his mother, I took good care of her last night. BOOYAH."
Certified Grabbo lover
I believe the proper term is “fopfulness.”
by not norm ullman on Sep 8, 2010 11:50 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike: “Man, I totally owned that #DanEllisProblems hashtag on Monday night. Even got my Tweet featured on Puck Daddy!”
Dan: “…”
Mike: “Wait, you’re not Nittymaki…”
by dbfinch on Sep 8, 2010 11:18 AM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Dan: Can you lend me $20 man? Seriously, that 18% escrow is really hurting my pocket book.
Mike: WHo are you? Where am I? WHAT’S GOING ON????
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Sep 8, 2010 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
Dan: “Mike, it’s all about diversifying your portfolio. You should always have some liquid assets on hand though, but the key in the market is to get in and get out. It’s not brain surgery!”
Mike: “I like cookies”
This is my BOZAK!!!1
by blurr1974 on Sep 8, 2010 11:21 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Dan: “I’m not actually Dan Ellis, I’m a lowly commoner who has agreed to trade places with Dan so he can better understand the plight of the less fortunate.”
Mike: “Vesa?”
PPP ain't nothin to cuss with
The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway
by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on Sep 8, 2010 11:21 AM EDT reply actions 13 recs
MS- “…so then what’d you say?”
DE- “Then I said that they wouldn’t understand because they aren’t cursed to make lots of money like us”
MS- “And did that straighten things out?”
DE- “You would have thought so, but it just made things WORSE!”
MS- “Worse? What? Maybe they don’t get that WE’RE the ones with big problems? Lotta idiots on the Twitters”
DE- “Werd. Tell me about it”
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. - Churchill (Obvious Leaf Fan)
by Biff Carrington on Sep 8, 2010 11:38 AM EDT reply actions
“Will you marry me.”
“Whaaaaat? I’M the one doin’ the askin’ here. Now, will you marry me?
by not norm ullman on Sep 8, 2010 11:49 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Smith “Lecavalier’s a good man. He donated $3 Million to a local children’s hospital a few years ago. Proud to have him as captain.”
Ellis “Really, Mike, REALLY? That’s like 18% of his salary over 2 years. How could you respect such a terrible waste of money?”
Smith “…Out of curiosity, have you see ”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxgZyx23I_c" >what I did to Chris Neil?"
Ellis “Nah, been too busy working on my solid gold mansion.”
Smith “…you’ve got a five second head start.”
Dan: Don’t look now, but someone’s taking our picture.
Mike: (glances over shoulder) Oh yeah, I see the guy with the camera.
Dan: This is awesome!
Mike: Why?
Dan: Because that picture is totally gonna be front-paged on a Leafs blog, despite having nothing to do with the Leafs whatsoever.
Mike: So what?
Dan: So it’s gonna be viewed a few thousand times more than it would have otherwise… we’re practically internet celebrities!
Mike: Sweeeeet!
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 8, 2010 12:07 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Dan sez
DE: can u believe it? 18% escrow!
MS: get over it!
by hockeyphreak on Sep 8, 2010 12:17 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Smith: So why are we hanging out here at the rink? Everyone left and went home.
Ellis: I need the overtime.
Smith: So why are we kneeling?
Ellis: *&^% it, they don’t pay me enough to stand.
Smith: So why are you over here with me then instead of in your own goal?
Ellis: ….I was lonely.
He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Just because Jay McClement is the best defensive forward in the NHL doesn't mean he should win the Selke.
by Icion on Sep 8, 2010 12:24 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
Dan to Mike
Give it 110%, then hold 18% of that back until the end of the season.
In Burke We Trust
by Kohma on Sep 8, 2010 12:42 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Dan: What’s mine say?
Mike: Dude. What’s mine say?
Dan: Sweet. But what’s mine say?
Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.
by Chemmy on Sep 8, 2010 12:44 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Dan: Derp!
Mike: Derrrrrp!
Dan: hahaha, derp.
There is no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
by Matt_Roberts on Sep 8, 2010 2:00 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Dan: I got it. We can easily make back the 18% if we go all Pete Rose this year.
Mike: So we just let in a shit-load of goals and bet against ourselves?
Dan: Exactly!
Mike: In what way is that different from last year?
Loving the Leafs is like being in love with a drug-addled, gambling addicted prostitute with a heart of gold and a bunch of humanitarian awards from her youth. It’s hard. It hurts. But dammit! I just love them!
by Van Ryn's Neurologist on Sep 8, 2010 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
dan: we weren’t betting on ourselves last year.
"Tell Sigmund Freud not to worry about his mother, I took good care of her last night. BOOYAH."
Certified Grabbo lover
a little on the nose, don’t you think?
Loving the Leafs is like being in love with a drug-addled, gambling addicted prostitute with a heart of gold and a bunch of humanitarian awards from her youth. It’s hard. It hurts. But dammit! I just love them!
by Van Ryn's Neurologist on Sep 8, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
“I was gonna propose to you!”
“But I was gonna propose to you!”
“Well…let’s propose to each other then…”
“O…K…cool. Hey, should we be in Massachusetts for this?”
“No, our farm club is in Virginia.”
by Arenacale on Sep 8, 2010 2:18 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Dan:Dude, I’m getting eaten alive on twitter
Mike: Better than getting eaten alive by Brodeur
BS
by MapleLeafMole on Sep 8, 2010 2:23 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Smith: Those new pads bro?
Ellis: Yeah dude, custom. Had them stuffed with liger fur. Did you know Ferrari provides custom colours for their leather interiors? I ordered a brand new F360 so I could wrap these puppies in some artic snow seat-leather. Gave the rest of the car to my kid, kid is teething so I thought he could gnaw on the steering wheel for a while.
Nomine Burkie, Phaneufi, et Spiritus Universi
by Jo4nny on Sep 8, 2010 2:45 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
“I’m going to make a yellow line. Tee hee hee”
Who wants to hear a funny ass joke?
by ohshrit on Sep 8, 2010 2:47 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Ellis: Wanna grab coffees?
Smith: Alright let’s roll. Starbucks?
Ellis: Nah man, Tim’s it is. And you’re driving.
Blue on both sides: Maple Stir-up
And I'm on Tweetbook
Ellis: blah blah blah twitter blah blah blah 18% blah blah blah money….you hear what i’m sayin man? i think i’m justified here…
Smith: huh? what? sorry dude i missed all that, i tuned you out like an hour ago…i’ve jus bin singing Great Big Sea songs in my head “…hey hey hey its just an ordinary day and its all your state of mind…”
"i get paid for the practices...i'd play the geams for free" - Tim Horton
by Frat Pack on Sep 8, 2010 4:41 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Rec’d for Great Big Sea
"The only way out is in a body bag. Go Leafs Go." - Blinky
by Karina on Sep 8, 2010 5:00 PM EDT up reply actions
ALMOST rec’d for Great Big Sea.
Or a place where trunks, are mostly blueish green, with a waistband softer than the rain,
'Cause I don't care, what you want to wear down there...
by Sergei Puckizin on Sep 8, 2010 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions
GREAT BIG SEA!
I’m under 18 and I know what that is!!! (thanks to Sid..)
"Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience... hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive." - Stephen Leacock.
They’re his favourite band.. apparently
"Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience... hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive." - Stephen Leacock.
They were my favourite band too, from about age 11-13. I still give them a listen once in awhile, and at one of the Irish pubs I frequent the acoustic duo that plays on a weekly basis often whips out GBS tunes.
The artist commonly referred to as "Maple".
My Art Portfolio
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 10, 2010 12:32 AM EDT up reply actions
Ellis:..and that’s how I beat Shaq
"Tell Sigmund Freud not to worry about his mother, I took good care of her last night. BOOYAH."
Certified Grabbo lover
by loser domi on Sep 8, 2010 5:09 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
DE: I’m telling you, no sympathy at all when I told him how hard it was to find a turducken stuffed full of cash.
MS: Man, they can be so insensitive. I don’t see what BizNasty likes about homeless people at all.
Purveyor of Pension Plan Puppets Podcast Post-Production
by puckurgently on Sep 8, 2010 5:27 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Oh, I like this one.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Sep 8, 2010 6:13 PM EDT up reply actions
.
DE: “….and that’s why Stevie Y fined me.”
MS: “Where am I?”
"I have a formula for excitability actually." - RJ Anderson
MS: “18%? That’s fucking bullshit!”
DE: “THAT’S WHAT I SAID!”
MS: “These simpletons just don’t understand what it’s like to be us.”
DE: “Totally dude! How can these idiots understand the burden of having money when they have none themselves?”
MS: “Hahaha. You’re hilarious Dan. But really, you know we’re getting a shit ton of money to play hockey right?”
DE: “….wait, what?”
http://beyondbeleaf.blogspot.com/
by BeyondBeleaf on Sep 8, 2010 10:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Way to go assholes
You’ve scared Dan Ellis off of Twitter.
When I read the nickname Testicula, the first thing that popped into my head was a vampiristic scrotum that can only be killed with a silver cross driven through the vas deferens. - Certified Grabbo Lover
ROFL
Poor baby
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Sep 9, 2010 7:33 AM EDT up reply actions
I am shutting down my twitter because in no way shape or form do I want this to disrupt my team.
Pretty sure being on twitter isn’t going to disrupt your team as much as being in the net.
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Albert Einstein
by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Sep 9, 2010 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
I don’t visit Twitter often… what’s the huge deal behind why Ellis is shutting down his Twitter account?
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 9, 2010 1:06 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah I just flipped through about 4 pages of tweets. God I hate Twitter! I find it hard to figure out who is saying what (two weeks shy of my 23rd birthday and I’m gonna feel old saying “This damn new-fangled technology is fine for the kids but I don’t like it!”). He seems very defensive about having talked about money? I can’t seem to find where all the people who were supposedly attacking him did the attacking.
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 9, 2010 1:33 AM EDT up reply actions
He remarked
About how terrible the 18% escrow will be for him and we should essentially pity the fact that he’ll still be walking away with 7 figures this year.
He also went on to essentially infer how us poorer folk just simply can’t relate to his problems but how his other Richy Rich friends do.
Not good timing amidst a terrible economic downturn and when 1 out of every 10 home owners in the USA is looking at foreclosure.
Insensitive and ill advised to say the least.
I heard via PPP about his earlier comments about making fun of a Russian player by calling him a communist, then being called out by someone for making a “racist” statement, being lead to believe he had in fact made a racist statement, and having to apologize. Seems to me like Mr. Ellis is not all that intelligent, first for repeatedly making statements he later has to retract (and not learning from it until now) and second for apparently being stupid enough to be lead to believe that communists are a race of people. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just keep his mouth (fingers) shut and instead feels the need to shut down his Twitter account. Is he really so dense he can’t distinguish between what is offensive/inappropriate and what is funny?
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 9, 2010 1:56 AM EDT up reply actions
BizNasty
I heard via PPP about his earlier comments about making fun of a Russian player by calling him a communist, then being called out by someone for making a "racist" statement, being lead to believe he had in fact made a racist statement, and having to apologize.
You’re thinking of a different twitter account.
20 miles to Legoland!
Ahhh my bad! Seems like NHL’ers should stay away from Twitter… Bissonette and Ellis are definitely not shining examples of what can happen when they do join.
The artist commonly referred to as "Maple".
My Art Portfolio
by CanadianMaple09 on Sep 9, 2010 9:03 AM EDT up reply actions
biznasty’s agent got cold feet with the commie joke because a few dumb amerks thought it was racist.
bissonette is exactly what twitter should be about. i find that shit hilarious.
by Death_By_Leafs on Sep 9, 2010 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Just had to...
@33dellis: “I deeply care for the less fortunate and make many efforts to be of even marginal help”.
Oh thank you Dan for your efforts to be of even marginal help to charity.
The hole just gets deeper.
DE: I see you skatin’ ‘round rink with the job I love, and I’m like “Fuck You!”
Purveyor of Pension Plan Puppets Podcast Post-Production
by puckurgently on Sep 9, 2010 3:20 AM EDT reply actions 9 recs
I weep that only I only have one rec to give.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
Like reading thoughts confined to 140 characters? I'm on Twitter too.
by PPP on Sep 9, 2010 7:34 AM EDT up reply actions
Dan Ellis Says
No way Mike! I’m the girl in this relationship. I get to propose.
“YOU KNOW THAT TOKARSKI KID IS GONNA RUN US OUT OF TOWN.”
"I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to."
by Wrap Around Curl on Sep 9, 2010 10:45 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
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