Maple Leafs 1 v. Capitals 4: Behind Enemy Lines
The Toronto Maple Leafs fell 4-1 to the Washington Capitals to slump to their fourth loss in their last five games. They actually played a pretty good game to my eyes. Although it is tough to analyse the game as well from platinum seats. More on that after the jump.
As for the game, the sole goal came as a result of Tim Brent showing the rest of the team how to get to a rebound. Jean-Sebastien Giguere was the definition of a replacement level goaltender - James Reimer's call-up will hopefully inspire him to better - and the defence struggled to get shots through to the net. There were numerous times when the Leafs had created the necessary traffic and chaos in front of Braden Holtby but the shot would not make it through. Alex Ovechkin, probably aware that Chemmy had been preparing taunts, threw up a hat trick including an empty netter that displayed more hustle than during most of the rest of the night.
So a good Leafs' effort gets wasted because the team just couldn't finish. Oh well.
Corsi and Fenwick | EV Face-Offs | H2H Time On Ice
Game Summary | Event Summary | Japers Rink Recap

More importantly, this weekend was a gathering of the PPP braintrust. As you can see, Saturday started off with the breakfast of champions irate fans: waffles! We needed a lot of energy to get through the day which would include a tour of the ACC.

Media Row - 100 seats, mostly full every night
After finding out tour guide despite my best efforts at derailing our night (pro-tip: print off important things like phone numbers and names and meeting places because smart phones aren't always 'smart') we took an elevator ride up to the top of the ACC to start our tour. This is a picture of a barren media row. Although we did run into Howard Berger. We didn't want to get our tour guide in trouble so we just let him walk by. I'm sure Ben appreciated it.
The NHL employees in this room were pretty nice. They review plays and forward them over to the War Room if they can't get the right answer. They also laughed when Chemmy made a Mike Murphy crack. Their official answer: "No comment" but their eyes said "Dean Lombardi's a jerk."

Not Pictured: Dunce Caps
These are the extra chairs in Brian Burke's box. They are there as overflow seating when special ticket holders (we saw two of them up there during the game) get to visit the box. I am going to assume that this is also where Burke makes Dave Poulin sit for suggesting they sign Brett Lebda.

In The Penalty Box: Trouble Brewing
This was actually pretty damn cool. Now, because of the way the penalty boxes work, we had to be in the Capitals' box. We also had to sign waivers which didn't seem like such a good idea when Jason Chimera wanted to kill us. Some day someone is going to read those waivers and laugh at who was on this tour.
Some players started stretching in front of us including Jay Beagle. Ryan stepped up with a message for him: "Hey Beagle, 24/7 sucked." Beagle, to his credit, laughed. Our next attempt at chirping was not as well received.

Jay Beagle - In Our Good Books
Semyon Varlamov was another Capital that took up a spot in front of us so I stepped up to the plate:
PPP: Hey Varly!
Varlamov: *Turns head*
PPP: Pretend it's the playoffs, we need the win!
Varlamov: *rolls eyes, whispers to Jason Chimera*
Chimera: WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY?!?
PPP: *stutters* Pretend...
Chimera: That's what I thought *skates away*
PPP, Chemmy, SkinnyFish, Puckurgently: *howling with laughter*
Chimera: *skates big loop, comes back* SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!
Geez, didn't know it was so easy to get into Chimera's head. I used to think that when players' lost their heads that it wasn't quite fair to judge their reaction because you never know what was said to them but based on Chimera I have to think that maybe they are just really sensitive.
We had some other good chirps that we didn't get to deliver ("Hey Mike Green, you're our favourite Caps forward", "Hey Ovie, missed you in Vancouver") because our tour guide Ben was visibly shook and we didn't think the Leafs would save us if the Capitals came flying into the penalty box to kill us.
People that sit in the platinum seats get a lot of grief for not being in their seats at the beginning of periods. "The lines for food are long!" "There aren't enough bathrooms!" After sitting there, I have even less sympathy after sitting there. We didn't get out of our seats once until after the game. They deliver food and drinks to your seat! It was glorious. And dangerous.
That wasn't even the end of the fun. We got to go to the post-game presser in the bowels of the ACC. Once again, we were asked to be on our best behaviour so even though I bought a Mikhail Grabovski jersey before the game I wasn't able to geek out when I saw him in the hallway and we couldn't talk to Jonas Gustavsson since he was talking to one petrified 4 year old and his father (seriously, the kid was about to bawl). We did, however, get to see a classic Ron Wilson angry answer.

"Could someone please powder that bald head on the left, it's tossing up too much glare."
And then we went to drink with Archi, Jared, Clrkaitken, bkblades, and MC79hockey and we all lived happily ever after. Except Chemmy who basically died in the morning.
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Grabovski Butt-tap
Mandatory.
L'eggo my Eggo.
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. ~Gordie Howe
by happiergilmore on Jan 23, 2011 10:35 PM EST reply actions
In the media room, one of you should have said to Ron Wilson, “What a man’s got to do to get a slice of pizza pizza around here?”
That’s the first time three members of the media have ever been photographed together wearing suit jackets. I’m going to make the safe bet that they’re all on-air guys and carefully matched their suit jackets with jeans (or no pants).
Bitter Leaf Fan: Skepticism, not cynicism.
heh
Our tour guide looked really nervous after Chimera flipped out and he was really nice so we didn’t get to do anything that we had planned like doing the “cough Waive Lebda cough” or asking Bruce Boudreau whether it could ever be too late for ice cream.
OH! and we met Elliotte Friedman and Dennis Beyak. Great guys.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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Oh yeah, JOE BOWEN IS AMAZING AND HE TALKS JUST LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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Sounds like quite the excellent adventure
And now that your souls have all being bought with platinum I’m expecting nothing but lurve, slurping lurve, from the lot of you in all future coverage.
What, I thought you were team players?
Nevermind.
heh
The best part is that I don’t think MLSE is quite sure who was given these tickets.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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is chemmy pretending to grab your junk in the first picture? is that the breakfast sausage??
TOMAS KABERLE: LEAF FOR LIFE
Who’s pretending?
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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You look like:
who let this guy into my house?
by Leaf in Habland on Jan 24, 2011 7:33 AM EST up reply actions
Hilarious picture!
I tweet far too much. Follow me!
USA beat Canada because more kids in the US are playing hockey and the USA hockey system is producing better hockey players to compete with the Canadian youth hockey system, not because Ray Bourque got his fuck on in Boston. -Killer_Carlson
The Caps look dangerous now that they’ve abandoned the "lets just win every game 9-7 approach of the last few years. I have a lot of respect for Boudreau for putting a defensive side to this team. Ovechkin blocking shots was something to behold.
yes. but i was about ready to punch hughson/simpson in the face the last 5 minutes of the game. the way they were talking you’d think boudreau invented the idea of playing defensive hockey when you have a lead. those two are a fucking ridiculous.
TOMAS KABERLE: LEAF FOR LIFE
My dad texted me during the game:
“The best part of being at the game? Not having to listen to Hughson.”
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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We use the "Healy Scale" to measure broadcasting idiocy
Hughson, while oftentimes unlistenable (to?), rates about a 4.4 on that scale. Simpson comes in somewhere near 6. Bob Cole, of course, is basically the “Doomsday Clock” of the Healy Scale – about 1 minute to midnight (9.999).
At least we were spared the Cole/Healy Daily Double this week. That’s usually when we put on the radio instead.
by Thistle, Shamrock & Rose entwined on Jan 24, 2011 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
Bite your tongue.
Don’t speak ill of Bob Cole.
Harry Neale – feel free to slam.
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you are green lighting Harry Neale?
what happened to you man? you used to be cool
Rule #20
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 24, 2011 3:19 PM EST up reply actions
I have always hated Harry Neale.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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Long-time listener, first-time poster
jes’ learnin’ the rules – thanks for that head’s up
I score a 3.6 on the Healy Scale, how about you?
by Thistle, Shamrock & Rose entwined on Jan 24, 2011 3:52 PM EST up reply actions
We didn’t get out of our seats once until after the game.
I honestly don’t believe you didn’t have to use the bathroom. With the amount of beer the Leafs cause me to drink at games I’m usually lucky if I can go the period without getting up.
I did some serious dancing at the presser but never left my seat. Pro-tip: empty your bladder right before puck drop.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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you clearly weren’t drinking enough.
one aspect of the platinum experience you’re forgetting (or unaware of) is the corporate hospitality suites. sure they deliver food to your seat, but when i enjoyed platinums courtesy of the bank i was working for several years ago, there was a suite full of free booze and food during intermission waiting for me (plus a TV with the game on). in addition to the shitty bathroom line and bar wait (which are both legit reasons), a lot of people are back in the suites, watching the game on tv with free food and booze keeping them happy. if they miss 4 minutes of the live action they’re not sweating it.
TOMAS KABERLE: LEAF FOR LIFE
Hmmm we didn’t get the suite. Just the tickets and in-seat delivery.
Food and booze in a suite with the game on tv = your living room with friends.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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yeah. except the shitty bank you work for is paying for it. there’s nothing more delicious than free food.
TOMAS KABERLE: LEAF FOR LIFE
and booze
I kinda wish you guys had actually goaded Chimera more… I mean obviously this is easy to say from where I’m sitting… but if you had actually managed to get him to lose his shit that would have been significant news.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
by Steve Burtch on Jan 24, 2011 12:03 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
also
Chimera’s anger seems misplaced… he wasn’t the problem last season… it was really the inability of Semin and Fleischmann to put pucks in the net that ruined them.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
by Steve Burtch on Jan 24, 2011 12:05 AM EST up reply actions
Chimera was definitely a problem, I think. He looks terrible by Corsi, and when your secondary scoring suddenly dries up, that ain’t good.
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by red army line on Jan 24, 2011 9:19 AM EST up reply actions
We did keep yelling shit at them but after the stretching is done they aren’t sitting right in earshot anymore.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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I took a leak during the second intermission because I’m smarter than PPP.
Pension Plan Puppets*
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Random
Tampa has already played all 6 of it’s season games against the Thrashers… and won all 6 of them… that’s strange this early in the year isn’t it?
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
That was hilarious
If Chimera went off on you for that, I can only imagine how little Sean Avery has to try to get him off his game.
Twitter: RG62527
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ALSO!
We met Jimmy Holmstrom. That guy is AWESOME. He let us play the keyboard and told us what song he would play at the 6 minute break in the first.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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by PPP on Jan 24, 2011 1:35 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Woah. Now I’m officially jealous. You should have requested Smoke on the Water.
Bitter Leaf Fan: Skepticism, not cynicism.
He played Jump for us.
Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.
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by PPP on Jan 24, 2011 8:44 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Wait,
How did you manage to get platinum seats? I missed something here.
Oh, you better believe that's a paddling.
That secret died with the original owners of the tickets
Rule #20
by JaredFromLondon on Jan 24, 2011 1:55 AM EST up reply actions
I, for one, am shocked – SHOCKED!
that a client of Allan Walsh could be so sensitive and also kind of a jerk.
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The video review guy said something like “And we can also call the War Room to make sure we get the call right”
“Unless it involves the Kings, right?”
The guy laughed for a few seconds and then said “No comment.”
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by Chemmy on Jan 24, 2011 10:48 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
This is awesome, particularly the Chimera bit.
"The second violinist in a symphony is a special musician, but her name rarely appears in print." - Brian Burke on Ryan Suter.
I fully believe Chimmer just “lost it” because he was dying for a mention on PPP. I mean, who WOULDN’T be? :D
Either that or Varly told him you said something much more horrible…he’s kind of a brat, I wouldn’t put it past him. “Those guys just said you have a poster of Crosby above your bed. Get ’em, Chimmer!”
If anyone needs me, I'll be at Kettler.
We also told Steckel good work on waxing Crosby. Good thing Chimera didn’t hear that one!
If Varly told him we said something worse then I think that’s hilarious.
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Meh, Stecks can stand up for himself. Haven’t you heard? He’s dangerous. First Crosby, then Fehr…
If anyone needs me, I'll be at Kettler.
I would certainly hope so, since he’s probably in the top 20 in the league in height.
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by red army line on Jan 24, 2011 11:18 PM EST up reply actions
- 1 in taking out star players though. Amirite?
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