Why I Can't Cheer For The Canucks

I fuq’n hate prima donna Luongo. He is such a Drama Queen.

let me try to explain some of it to you.
1: With the exception of Ottawa fans (and even some of them), EVERY fan of other teams in canada points to their own’storied history’ and our lack of mugs. Yeah, some of them may have not won a cup since the year i was born, which was, btw, before the canucks were even a team, and some of them won like 5 in a period that ended over 20 years ago and some of them won 1 cup and have really done squat since, but we still get it. Every day of every season. Not just from fellow Canadians either… I don’t think any team in the league (or really any league anywhere except maybe the cubs) get’s the ‘They sure are cocky for a team that’s never won anything’ comment as much as we do. Should we be so douchey as to point out that the last time some teams won the cup there wasn’t even ubiquitous color tv (heck in canada there wasn’t even ubiquitous TV…), and that the last time other teams won there were no cell phones, internet, hybrid cars and ‘good rock music’ meant hair as tall as the body, the only response we get is “(insert cup number here) CUPS TO YOUR ZERO!”. So yeah, we’re a bit sensitive about that.

2: Long time fans of this team have seen very good teams with much promise fail us over and over again. You say we’re smug and feel like we deserve the cup, but frankly virtually every real fan has that little voice in the back of our heads saying ‘henrik, daniel, and kesler will all get injured next game and we’ll lose this series’ or ‘someone will bertuzzi somebody and it will kill the locker rooms’ drive’ or something like that. So, frankly we aren’t all that full of entitlement, just nervous excitement.

3: Canucks have all these wierd and not quite factual shots against them. Burrows is a cheap shot diver? He hasn’t dived in 3 seasons. And the hair pulling was bad, but tell u what…i’ll fishhook your cheek and leave u no option but my long curly locks (actually I have short str hair, but trying to be relevant to the incident) and see how u extricate yourself. Luongo is overrated and can’t win big games? You mean, like the olympic gold? How about his 2.11 GAA this year, bested only by timmy thomas? How about a team with the lowest goals against in the league and yet the highest goals for? No trap here. Which brings up the wierd thing of people who still call vancouver a trap team. Huh? How about the sedin sisters? Back to back art ross winners, one hart and possibly a second one. They face the biggest, best, grindiest d-men in the league every single night and unlike, oh i dunno, certain 2 #1 draft choice players they don’t disappear and become periphery players. Uh…until this series against nashville apparently, sigh…

4: The Bertuzzi incident. People STILL get on the fans about that, and still call the team dirty and rough because of it. Really? Seriously, REALLY? Most of us were as pissed as the rest of u at him for that. Even those of us who were huge fans of him before it.

5: Raffi Torres makes a hit on Seabrook and everyone’s panties get in a twist. Suspend him for 10 games! 20! Forever! 2 games later the EXACT SAME HIT is put on Bieksa…crickets chirping. Ryan Kesler get’s hooked, punched, grabbed and impeded for 5 seconds right in front of a ref who finally has to blow the whistle on it even though it’s playoff ot, and everyone calls him a cheater for it. Seriously, wtf? I guess the fact that nobody complained about the direct hit into the boards right on the numbers (textbook definition of boarding, btw) that wasn’t called about 10 seconds before that doesn’t meant squack. These things happen all the time…and kinda makes us a bit angry, not to mention depressed. All anyone can talk about is how Gillis made a little speech to the media about uneven reffing, which, if u watched that series, even chicago fans noted. Yet, kesler’s the bad guy for drawing a penalty in a game that had even penalties, and we’re hypocrites for it? Aggravating, that. Speaking of Kesler diving to draw a penalty, btw, anyone who isn’t a vancouver fan see Patrick Kane fall clutching his face in game 6 when the closest canuck to him had his back to him and arms down? Nobody comments on that world class soccer dive… funniest part of it was the ref saw it and came up and snow showered him while he was down. I’ll give u all the luongo one from the other night…but if u don’t want that penalty don’t go all Sean Avery on a goalie.

Frankly, the Canucks somehow have a combination the ‘Broadstreet bullies’ rep of the Philadelphia Prongers and the ‘Tin Hat conspiracy theorists’ rep of the Detroit Old Wings, and the ‘Boring Trap’ rep of the New Jersey Devils without really being any of these things.

So yeah, we’ll party in the streets if we go all the way. We’ll be damn proud of this team for finally doing the city a solid. I doubt we’ll riot…that really was a bit of a one off. We may make some cheap comments about the Oiler’s umpteenth ‘rebuilding season’ or how the Flames mortgaged their future for…well for nothing, really, or how Montreal fans are the worst in the league for various wacky things they do like booing their goalie in the preseason. Some of us may poke toronto’s 44 year dry spell, but in the end, we’ll mainly just be happy we don’t have to hear ‘your team’s never won a cup so you shouldn’t cheer on a win by them’ again.