FanPost

Vegas Odds: Canucks Post-Cup Celebrations

At each home game the Vancouver Canucks take to the ice to a weak-ass U2 track from 1987. The song is older than 25% of their roster. Nice work by the Canucks in-house A/V crew.

And it gets better.

When the Canucks won the Clarence Campbell Conference, green and blue confetti rained down from the rafters littering the ice surface. The confetti created the ideal setting for 23 men on skates to tear ACLs and fall on their asses like some drunken reject on Cops. Twenty-three San Jose Sharks dodged the ice-ladened confetti is if it were a thousand marbles. Somehow the three blind men officials made it into the bowels of the building without a single fall.

This promo was so short-sighted, I'm surprised the Canucks AV guys didn't just drop 10,000 green and blue marbles from the rafters along with several thousand angry bees like some ill-conceived outtake from Jackass 2.

If the Canucks win the Cup at home, this same crack team of in-house pop culture experts are going to be in charge of a spectacle for the ages. Given their fine work to date, here are Vegas-style odds on what we might expect from the Canuck's Stanley Cup winning post-game production:

1-7: We are the Champions by Queen (John Garret weeps on air like Jeremy Roenick in 2010)
2-1: Beautiful Day by U2 (Jim Hughson takes to the ice in full Canucks gear for post-game interviews)
5-1: Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlyle (Alex Burrows bites Gary Bettman during Cup presentation)
10-1: Elevation by U2 (At least 8 Canucks take a dive and call for a penalty while skating a victory lap with Cup)
12-1: Simply the Best by Tina Turner (A Raffi Torres flying elbow takes out the white-gloved dude who carries the Cup)
15-1: These Dreams by Heart (Canucks sell post-game celebration rights to American Inshore Divers Corp.)
20-1: The Wild Boys by Duran Duran (Colin Cambell rushes the ice,  "awards" Conn Smythe to Gregory Campbell)
25-1: Just Like Paradise by David Lee Roth (Mike Gillis takes to the ice in a Green Man suit)
40-1: Pump Up the Jam by Technotronic (One allegation of hair pulling/ biting/ spearing during post-game handshake line)
100-1: One Shining Moment by David Barrett (slow-motion video montage of Canucks & Frank D'Angelo spraying each other down with Cheetah power surge energy drink)

PensionPlanPuppets.com is a fan community that allows members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Toronto Maple Leafs and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editor of PensionPlanPuppets.com.

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