Shit My Mens League Says

Like many of you here not only am I a fan of the game of hockey, but I'm also a participant. I've been playing hockey since the wee age of 8, and currently find myself playing in the Stamford, CT Adult Hockey League. Quite possibly the nastiest and chippiest mens league in existence. At the age of 26, I'm one of the youngest players in the league, and with that increased age you'd think you'd see a mellower playing atmosphere. My how wrong that is. You see Stamford, CT is located an hour outside of New York City by train and it and the surrounding towns are full of investment bankers, lawyers, investment bankers, and investment bankers. Think complete A type personality douchebags, except for the handful of cool ones like most of the guys on my team.

Working in NYC and working in such a high stress environment makes these men complete lunatics who have no outlet for their pent up anger and aggression then through violence at the hockey rink. I've seen more fights, shoving matches, hard stick fouls, and overheard for death threats in this league than I ever did playing and referring high school hockey in Ohio and Michigan. It's just down right nasty.

Stick with me though, I'm getting somewhere. The one thing these investment bankers lack is a sense of humor. They absolutely despise it. Nothing makes them madder. Now if you've ever had the pleasure of meeting me, you'd know that I'm a complete goofball with a weird sense of humor and the tongue to back it up. So instead of engaging these pissed off douchbags at their game, I generally resort to a battle of wits, and always come out on top. Because this is such a common occurence, I thought I'd say with you some of the funnier exchanges I've had over the seasons, and provide a forum for the other mens (and womens) league players in here to share theirs. I'll probably make this a randomly reoccurring feature as I partake in more conversation on the ice.

A warning for the after the jump content as I use some potty language.

Story #1

Scene: My teammate has just blatantly checked another player (a no-no as it's a non-checking league) and the ref has called a penalty.

SkinnyFish: Aww come on, he barely touched him.

Angry Man (that wasn't the guy who got hit): Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!

SF: Why are you sooooo angry?

AM: Shut the fuck up! (Gets in my face) You wanna fucking fight? Fucking hit me!

SF (with shit eating grin on my face): Wow, you are angry. You should calm down.

AM: Come on! Do it and I'll fucking kill you!

SF: Alright look. If you want to hit me so you won't hit your wife tonight, then go ahead and hit me. I'll do it for her sake.

AM: Oh yeah, we'll fight. I'll see you upstairs (in the rink bar) after the game.

SF (laughing): No you won't. Calm down and shut up.

(Guy never says another word for the rest of the game.)

Scene: Post-game handshake line after a blowout 2-7 loss. :(

SF: Buy ya a soda after the game?

 

Just one of the multitude of stories I have from playing mens league hockey in Stamford, CT. Have you got any from your time on the ice?

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