A Brain Aneurysm In 5 Minutes Or Less Or Your Money Back

TORONTO, CANADA - JANUARY 17: Dion Phaneuf #3 of the Toronto Maple Leafs fights Nick Foligno #71 of the Ottawa Senators in a game on January 17, 2012 at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. The Senators defeated the Leafs 3-2. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images)

Hey all, just in case you're in the mood to laugh and make your brain bleed this morning, I'd suggest you check out @AskBrianBurke. You see, if I ever attempted to compile a list of 140-character "thoughts" that encapsulated what it meant to be the dumbest hockey fans in the universe, I don't know if I could do this good a job. It seems that our dear friend @AskBrianBurke has taken to re-tweeting the worst/best questions for the Leafs' GM he can possibly find. Here's a choice example:

Screen_shot_2012-01-19_at_12

I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised to learn that this account is being run by one of our very own PPP users, so stand up and take a bow if it's you.

There's a quote from Clerks that I've been instructed to use here, despite the fact that I've never seen the movie:

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

Yeah, that's probably crossed Brian Burke's mind more than once. Jump for your links.

Leafs Links:

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Bubble Team
Preach on, Danny Gray. From The Leafs Nation.

What’s the next move with Nazem Kadri?
Michael Langlois has his say at Vintage Leaf Memories.

Dion Phaneuf can't fight in that situation
Personally, I'm OK with it, but Cam Charron has other ideas at The Leafs Nation.

State of Brian Burke’s Leafs
Better than last year. From David Johnson at Hockey Analysis.

NHL denies Winter Classic deal is done
Yeah, well, they also say that the Phoenix Coyotes have a future in Arizona. From David Shoalts at the Globe.

Armstrong turns to Crosby, others for concussion advice
Boneitis runs rampant. From James Mirtle.

Backhand Shelf Podcast
The Phaneuf/Foligno incident is discussed in this one, though I disagree with what's said about Phaneuf at the end of the game. Oh, and Rob Pizzo finally realizes how fast Phil Kessel is.

Do The Leafs Really Need A Number One Center?
Andrew Bates at the Silver Fox says 'no'.

Other Hockey Links:

Surviving the 5 on 6
Copper & Blue columnist dawgbone98 with another great breakdown.

Blues sign Brian Elliott to a two-year contract - The Globe and Mail
The $3.6 million deal will pay the 26-year-old Elliott $1.7 million next season and $1.9 million in 2013-14. He signed a two-way contract this season and is making $600,000.

The Whiteboard
A man with fourth-grade MS Paint skills (Justin Bourne) teaches us about neutral zone regrouping.

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