Maple Leafs Fan Cheering Guide - January 31st

by SkinnyFish on Jan 31, 2012 5:00 PM EST

As the 2011-12 regular season enters the home stretch, the Playoff race is beginning to tighten. For the Leafs, their job is simple; win hockey games. For the rest of the league, it's a little more complicated; win or lose games based on how it would impact the Maple Leafs playoff chances. Now if you're of the sort to believe that wearing a certain article of clothing can affect a team's play, or that stepping on a crack with break Sidney Crosby's C1 and C2 vertebrae, then you also have some work to do.

Here is you first in a daily feature called the "Maple Leafs Fan Cheering Guide". It's a handy little go-to guide that lets Leafs fans know who they should be rooting for in Eastern Conference hockey game. Without further ado, tonight's guide:

Ottawa Senators at Boston Bruins - FUCK THE SENS!

New York Rangers at New Jersey Devils - GO LUNDQVIST!

Winnipeg Jets at Philadelphia Flyers - GO FLYERS!!!1

New York Islanders at Carolina Hurricanes - GO TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS CIRCA 2009!

Buffalo Sabres at Montreal Canadiens - VIVA LOS BUFFASLUGS!

Washington Capitals at Tampa Bay Lightning - GO ~~WASHINGTON OVECHKINS!~~ STEVEN STAMKOSES!

and most importantly

Toronto Maple Leafs at Pittsburgh Penguins - GO LEAFS GO!

Tweet Comment 32 comments | 2 recs |

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Comments

Tamp with nine fewer points than Toronto is more of a #8 obstacle than Washington with the same number of points? I get that Washington will most likely take the SE when Florida falls off the map, but before that’s a certainty, shouldn’t we be wanting Washington and Florida to both lose all the time?

Purveyor of Pension Plan Puppets Podcast Post-Production

by puckurgently on Jan 31, 2012 5:04 PM EST reply actions

Yeah I’m going for Tampa in that one.

by Dr_Furious on Jan 31, 2012 5:07 PM EST up reply actions

No. Somebody has to win the SE and right now that’s Washington. Cheer for Washington to be the only SE division team in it.

The First Certified Grabbo Lover

by SkinnyFish on Jan 31, 2012 5:09 PM EST up reply actions

http://www.sportsclubstats.com/NHL/Eastern/Northeast/Toronto.html

A Tampa win gives us a 0.5% boost to our playoff chances.

A Washington win gives us a -0.3% hit.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 31, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Tampa it is then

The First Certified Grabbo Lover

by SkinnyFish on Jan 31, 2012 5:13 PM EST up reply actions

Fuck the Sens because fuck the Sens.
Rangers are pretty far ahead, Devils are tied with us so go Rangers.
Right now I’m looking forward and not back, so a Jets win would be ok. Just not a 3 point game.
Islanders/Canes? Not even remotely interested.
Fuck the Habs because fuck the Habs.
Go Lightning. They’re too far back to matter right now.

1/1/11: Saw the beginning of the Optimus Reim era. And it was glorious!!!1
Oh...and Phil Kessel says YAAAAAAYYYY!!!1

by LeafBoy on Jan 31, 2012 5:10 PM EST reply actions

We should want the Habs to win just enough to turn from sellers into buyers at the deadline further sacrificing their future. Having them finishing 9th would be ideal in screwing them for draft position too.

"They build a statue, they knock it down and piss on it, and now they will be out there building it again."

by ThickSkinnedAlive on Jan 31, 2012 5:46 PM EST up reply actions

Who cares where they draft? They’re just going to take the French guy.

Purveyor of Pension Plan Puppets Podcast Post-Production

by puckurgently on Jan 31, 2012 5:47 PM EST up reply actions

Glad the last one is up there…I was really confused until now…

by Sonic_Screwdriver on Jan 31, 2012 5:14 PM EST reply actions

I like this feature and wish to subscribe to all future writings.

Goals scored on Stanley Cup winning goalies by Scott Gomez this past year: 0
Goals scored on Stanley Cup winning goalies by me: 1

by elseldo on Jan 31, 2012 5:17 PM EST reply actions

that is crazy useful!

.. I know the Leafs abuse me, but its because they LOVE me ..
.. 2/24/2011: I was there ..
@Vitamin_M_

by Vitamin_M on Jan 31, 2012 5:17 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

The bottom of the East is so weird…3-way tie for last, 2 points between 15th and 11th.

In the court of public opinion, Steve Simmons is Lionel Hutz.

by The Bag on Jan 31, 2012 5:20 PM EST reply actions

Parity, or as I like to call it, Forced Mediocrity.

The First Certified Grabbo Lover

by SkinnyFish on Jan 31, 2012 5:22 PM EST up reply actions

I’d kind of like Montreal to fall to the bottom of that. Actually I’d kind of like Montreal to fall all the way to the bottom of the whole NHL…but Columbus is just way too bad for that.

Why? Because fuck the Habs.

1/1/11: Saw the beginning of the Optimus Reim era. And it was glorious!!!1
Oh...and Phil Kessel says YAAAAAAYYYY!!!1

by LeafBoy on Jan 31, 2012 5:23 PM EST up reply actions

Think of it like this: Montreal in last means way too much Yakupov in the Leafs’ future.

Donny, please.

by scrambles the death dealer on Jan 31, 2012 5:25 PM EST up reply actions

The way Montreal is now, they’d figure out a way to screw that up too…lol.

1/1/11: Saw the beginning of the Optimus Reim era. And it was glorious!!!1
Oh...and Phil Kessel says YAAAAAAYYYY!!!1

by LeafBoy on Jan 31, 2012 5:27 PM EST up reply actions

That’d be nice. Still though, let’s keep the mediocrity going.

Donny, please.

by scrambles the death dealer on Jan 31, 2012 5:28 PM EST up reply actions

but Columbus already signed Lebda…

by SlickWill on Jan 31, 2012 6:52 PM EST up reply actions

Personally I’d rather they kept finishing 9th to maximize pain and keep giving them an average draft pick.

by ShahofToronto on Jan 31, 2012 5:25 PM EST up reply actions

In a perfect world, the 5 lottery spots would all be occupied by Western Conference teams.

The First Certified Grabbo Lover

by SkinnyFish on Jan 31, 2012 5:48 PM EST up reply actions

In a perfect world a Colorado would trade us a 1st round pick for Gus, giving us a free lottery pick

Finally got twitter...@mapleleafmjt

by Chi-town leafs on Jan 31, 2012 6:16 PM EST up reply actions

in a perfect world the Leafs would win the Stanley Cup. Come on, folks, get with the program or get out of this perfect world ‘cause you’re doing it wrong

by SlickWill on Jan 31, 2012 6:53 PM EST up reply actions