We Are Not Alone

by Ghostsof on Jan 8, 2012 2:19 PM EST

Hi, my name is Kyle Furlong and I'm a depression sufferer

Doesn't have the same ring as an AA introduction does it? That's ok though, because just like with any problem, they say the first step is admission. I find that in talking to depression sufferers such as myself, the hardest problem is realizing that there is indeed a problem. I didn't know for years. I would always try to quantify my issues, tell myself "Meh, it's just a headache, it'll go away" or "You're just going through a bad stretch, it'll turn around" and bottle it up. I didn't want to admit (To myself and certainly nobody else) that I was depressed. To me, admission was a failure on my part. Failure as a human, failure as a son, as a brother and as a friend. A failure because I couldn't deal with my problems. I've since learned how big a mistake that was and how common a mistake that is.

In the years since I realized my problem, I've sought help in dealing with my issues. I've learned that I'm not alone and I never was. I've also learned that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. The vast majority of my friends could tell there was a problem but how do you tell a guy who's depressed that they are depressed when they themselves don't know it. It's a riddle wrapped in an enigma tucked inside a mystery I think.

I'm not here to tell my stories as to why I suffer, or to try to convince you of anything other than this: If you have the same problems or if you even think you might, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's really that simple. For whatever reasons you have, however big or small, no matter what your reason, trust me when I tell you that it's gonna be ok.

Part of what I do as a volunteer for the CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association) is talk. Actually most of what I do is talk, because most people don't like to. They don't like to be the one to offer their stories first, to be the ones to cross the threshold if you will. I tell my stories, inviting to opportunity for insight, asking questions to what other people may have done in my situation all while trying not to sound like a raving lunatic. Trust me folks, it's not as easy as it sounds. A self depreciating sense of humor goes a long way.

After I talk, I hope that the people that I talk to have built enough trust in me to share their own stories with me, and if not, that's cool. Sometimes all it takes is to hear somebody else tell share and its good enough. Other times it talks multiple visits and numerous trips to Tim Hortons for coffee before the trust is built. It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as people are either talking to me or listening to me, they aren't trying to hurt themselves. That's my goal. Everybody has a different technique that works for them.

I try and tell everybody that I meet and talk to that it's ok. They are normal, they aren't freaks and there is nothing wrong with them. Everybody has their ups and downs. Some just last longer than others. I'm not here to judge and my friends have been known to refer to me as "The Vault." Things I hear and know don't leave me until I'm told its all good.

I've learned that some people are ashamed of their past. They were abused as children (mentally, physically or sexually) or grew up in a situation with substance abuse. None of this matters to me. I don't care. You know what I care about? You. The person. I believe that you are not your past. You are not the situation that you grew up in. You are not defined by that.....I also realize that I sounded like Tyler Durden there, but that's ok too. We may have had our own Project Mayhem around here but I've yet to see anybody called a Space Monkey and to the best of my knowledge, we've yet to strap a soap bomb to a car in the parking lot of the Sun and the Star. PLEASE BE ADVISED I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS A GOOD IDEA

All that matters to me is that you are here and alive in this world. That's what I care about. That's what is paramount to me. And I'm here to do my best to keep it that way. Every day I wake up and I look down at my left wrist and I see my bracelet that says "Somebody Cares About Me" I got it last year on International Suicide Awareness Day, and it's maybe come off my arm once since last September. It's a constant reminder to me that I'm not alone and that I'm one of the lucky ones who realized my problem before it was too late. My Godfather wasn't so lucky. I've come to learn that he was afraid of asking for help and decided that his answers lay at the bottom of a bottle of pills. He was wrong. I'm not saying this to gain sympathy, but as an example of what can happen. We read about the lives of Derek Boogaard and Wade Belak and Rick Rypien and may feel detached as they are "Famous People" and not just like you and I, but guess what kids? They were. They faced many of the same problems as us, and those problems ate at them the same way ours eat as us. Well I'm not saying neurological issues stemming from fighting are innocent of blame, please understand that I'm not trying to get into a debate regarding the contributing factors of their tragic demise. No matter what info comes to light it doesn't change the fact that their deaths are tragic loss and a waste of precious human life

I've been contemplating writing this since last summer but I didn't know how. I'm not confident in my writing, in the least, and that's one of the many reasons that you don't see many comments from "Ghostsof" although I'd like to think I'm being more vocal and I hope I'm adding to other peoples entertainment with each and every comment. The main reason for writing this is a comment I made today in response to....Well you know what/ I don't even know what to call the commenter. I'm going to settle for "troubled individual". Anyways, I made a comment in response to this troubled individual about depression and in response I not only got my first "Greened/Blued" comment but after 10 recs I told myself that maybe I had a story to share. This whole post is that story. I hope it was entertaining, enlightening, hell anything. If you got a laugh, then I'm glad I could give it to you.

Under my post BCapp offered his email address up to anybody looking for help and I'm hoping he doesn't mind that I'm re-posting it here. bcapp.ppp@gmail.com. I quote "While I am only a medical student I have a passion for mental health and can help hook you up with local help and resources." You can't help but love the help and good thoughts that we PPPers show for each other. Just above that Chemmy remarked "Anyone who’s reading this who suspects they have depression, talk to someone. If there’s no one available email one of us at the bottom of the page." and I really hope that anybody here that has any issues really thinks about taking him up on that offer.

As for me, I'm always available at Kyle_Furlong@live.ca. If you are female and don't think you can talk to me, that's cool, I can put you in contact with somebody who I'd like to think that you can talk to. There is always somebody to talk to, but what we all have in common is that we aren't mind readers. We need you to come to us but if and when you do, I'd like to think that you won't be sorry that you did

Kyle Furlong

Aka

Ghostsof.

PensionPlanPuppets.com is a fan community that allows members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Toronto Maple Leafs and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editor of PensionPlanPuppets.com.

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Thank you for posting this

I feel as though I suffered through depression for the past few years (I’m not sure if there’s a way to officially “diagnose” the issue), however I’ve been slowly improving over the last few months. Sometimes I have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact that people DO care about me, and I feel very alone often. It probably has a lot to do with my past (bullying, social insecurity, etc) but like you said, your past doesn’t define you. Like I mentioned above, I am getting much better and am feeling happy for longer stretches of time than I have been in about 3-4 years. I’ve really worked hard at convincing myself that I DO matter, that people DO want me around, and that people DO care about me.

The world needs more people like you, BCapp, Chemmy, PPP, and anyone who offers their help for people with depression. I know what it feels like, and knowing that you guys are here for myself and anyone else suffering out there really makes me feel good. Thank you so much for your support. Also, if anyone out there is suffering from depression, or just needs to talk, my email is russel.prouse@gmail.com. I’d be happy to help out alongside all of you guys, it’s truly awesome to see this community come together to help out those of us in need.

99% of player salaries are payed out to only 1% of players. #OccupyNHL
I'm a Twitter twat.

by MLS on Jan 8, 2012 10:16 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

Great Post Kyle.

I’ve suffered bouts of extreme anxiety for prolonged amounts of time, and thankfully for me they seem to have stayed in the past. I never did seek help and, i’m sure if i did, i would have got out of my extended funk in a more timely manner. Even someone to talk to would have helped. It’s very hard to describe.

I’m around for anyone that needs an ear, too. russell.soares@gmail.com

by spoonie on Jan 8, 2012 10:47 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

Thanks for posting this Kyle

It is a great post and great sentiment. My offer stands and I am totally cool/happy you reposted it. I can’t offer much from a medical angle myself at this stage (but I’m always happy to just talk), but I’ll do whatever I can to help connect anyone with local resources. Take care everyone and as Kyle said people do care about you.

About time that people finally realized how awesome Gunnar is...
Certified Gunnar & Kule lover!
My new goal: To get the nickname Hebrew Hammer for Mike Brown to take off.

by BCapp on Jan 8, 2012 10:55 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

very nice post.

I am just beginning to go through recovering from extreme anxiety and depression. It hampered me very much during my first year at university. So much so that I flunked out and was forced to tell my parents about my issues. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but also the best thing. It took me quite awhile as well to understand that I was doing more harm than good by keeping my problems bottled up. I never wanted to admit defeat, I never wanted to fail, I never wanted my flaws to get the best of me. I always thought I could work out my issues. I thought going off to school would force me to work through it. But going off to university was the worst thing that could have happened. I was suddenly left to my own devices in a single dorm room and as you can imagine things did not go well. While the year was painful beyond belief I can’t fully regret it for leading me down the path of recovery. I admire your courage to talk openly about your bouts with depression and I hope I can do the same one day. What a lighthearted first comment…

I am a fan of a team in the NBA, MLB, NHL, and NFL. I haven't seen the playoffs since April 28th, 2008 (1st round exit by raps). I haven't seen playoffs past the 1st round since January 26th, 2006. Stop and think about how insane it is. And depressing.

by Eddie.Teach on Jan 9, 2012 12:48 AM EST reply actions 4 recs

Thanks for joining!

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Jan 10, 2012 1:36 AM EST up reply actions

I was ending up writing a post of my own in my comment, but I’ll just change it to say thanks. We all need(ed) that one thing/person/comment to help get us in the right direction.

Hopefully this post is that for someone.

by elseldo on Jan 9, 2012 7:06 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

That’s an excellent post Kyle, thank you. I’ve had bouts of depression myself over the years due to personal loss mostly but thankfully I’ve good friends and family members who could, and did, listen and advise. I’m in a good place now though; life is a lot better. It really is so good to talk about what is troubling you, no what what it is. A problem shared is a problem solved.

I’m glad to say I’ve been able to listen as well to others with problems and gave them the ear they needed, and subsequently guided them to the right resources where people more able than I could help.

I’d like to gladly add my e-mail to the list of those willing to listen – Revenuebuster@yahoo.com. If anyone, of any age, with any problem, wants someone to listen and offer advice, feel free.

Michael, in Ireland (and sometimes Malta) but originally from Hamilton.

Go Leafs. :)

by MOD on Jan 9, 2012 7:28 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

Thanks, Kyle. This is a fantastic post – and a really really good offer. I’ve suffered from depression before – I’m sure we all have – and having someone to talk to helps a lot. And I’ll add my email here as well if anyone needs to talk, or needs advice – obviously confidential. jtucker028@gmail.com

Cheers,

Jason (Hamilton, having completed a sojourn in oil country)

by Blue and White Expat on Jan 9, 2012 10:46 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

Its nice to see someone trying to make a difference with a health issue that many don’t take seriously. Thanks for taking the time to write this up Kyle.

[insert witty remark about being on twitter here]

by Tickle Me Aulie on Jan 9, 2012 11:00 AM EST reply actions

Thanks ghostof, a great fanpost.
I’m currently in an MA for therapy/psychology, somewhat because of my own experiences, hopefully pursuing more. I’m sure this felt good and I’m glad you got the courage to share it. Voicing it lets everyone know that their are others out there; we’re not alone.
More comments from you are appreciated!

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

by LeafsLover on Jan 9, 2012 11:31 AM EST reply actions

Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

by Nirbo on Jan 9, 2012 12:11 PM EST reply actions

Thanks

Great post,

I’ve been dealing with moderate anxiety and mild depression from that. The hardest part was realizing my symptoms ( stuff moving, sort of dizzy, panic attacks, loss of breath, iron band headaches, tingling fingers) weren’t from some sort of physical health problem but rather from my anxiety. Once I figured out I wasn’t going to die it was a little easier to work with.

Counselling is a good call I recommend it to anyone.

by not_Chemmy on Jan 9, 2012 12:25 PM EST reply actions

Been there too

Depression is in the family, I’m a musician ;) … thanks buddy!!

by GettinGiggy on Jan 9, 2012 12:43 PM EST reply actions

I saw the title and thought it was going to be a post about aliens. This is way better. Great stuff.

That's "Da-ooo". I killed a turkey once, with a shovel.

by daoust on Jan 9, 2012 3:29 PM EST reply actions 2 recs

Great post. Everyone knows someone who has suffered from depression or has suffered themselves. Thanks for this.

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jan 9, 2012 5:16 PM EST reply actions

I'm completely overwhelmed

by the response this post has gotten. I never imagined anything like it and I’m happy that I could share my stories with you all and that you could share with me. The more that people realize that there is nothing to be ashamed of, the better off we will all be. To each and every person who has read, commented, recommended, tweeted, or whatever else, I say thank you.

If you look up "Loyalty" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of a Leafs fan wearing a Todd Gill jeresy looking like he just got punched in the stomach

by Ghostsof on Jan 9, 2012 9:06 PM EST reply actions 1 recs

I am copying and pasting this from the FTB

We have been talking about mental health and the CMHA recently so I thought this may interest some
This years Detroit Free Press Marathon (there are lots of other options like half marathon, and other shorter options) has a Canadian charity as one of there official charities for the first time: The Windsor chapter of the CMHA (Canadian Mental health Association). So anyone in the Windsor or Detroit area should look into this if they are interested.

Cheers.

https://www.facebook.com/events/188465767919166/
http://www.freepmarathon.com/charities
http://www.freepmarathon.com

About time that people finally realized how awesome Gunnar is...
Certified Gunnar & Kule lover!
My new goal: To get the nickname Hebrew Hammer for Mike Brown to take off.

by BCapp on Jan 10, 2012 12:50 PM EST reply actions

Thank you very much for posting this.

well, that escalated quickly

by aelanK on Jan 11, 2012 8:11 PM EST reply actions

Awesome Post Dude !

Hey Listen ~ We determine our JOY ! You have to FEED your mind with “Positive Nutritional Food for the Brain” material.

While I am not a sufferer of Depression, I am diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from all the Gory Crap & B.S. that I saw and experienced in Iraq in 2005. PTSD Can very easily lead to Depression and while the Military compensates me with money on the first of every month, Ultimately I am the one who determines how positive or negative I am. And so can others. The Military also gives us Mental Health at the Veterans Administration (which didnt work for me ~ I’d rather surround myself with positive people at a Church or a local positive group like Habitat for Humanity or something). They also tried to “Dope” us with Narcotics which really Pi$$ed me off to no end that they would just “Dope” you for your troubles.

Here is what I found works for me that I may recommend to you.

If your not a reader and you read one book a year your already one step ahead of the Mass Population in America. I try to read Positive Inspirational Material to keep my mind right and not let my PTSD slip into Depression (and believe me with the death of my Sister, My wife’s Grandmother back in India, and My Father all in 6 short months really did put a strain on my positive outlook over the Holidays.) Plus anyone in sales will tell you that you have to read positive material to keep your positive outlook or you wont get sales. I mean, who wants to buy from a Grumpy Gus ?

What happened to Ryan Rypien, Wade Belak, & Derek Boogaard and also other famouse athletes like Andre Waters or other Celebrities like Kurt Cobain or the everyday average person down the street from you and I ~ is really a sad shame and I always feel like if I, Myself, Could have done something to help them I would have. If I had a time machine and go back in time to possibly change the outcome of them I wish I could.

Bottom line is I recommend Positive Inspirational Books or Motivational Books or Leadership books.

Books I have read that I recommend.

8 Steps to Success by Andy Albright
Richest Man In Babylon by George S. Clayson
The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon
Training Camp by Jon Gordon
Through My Eyes By Tim Tebow with Nathan Whitaker
How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie
Failing Forward By John Maxwell
The Creative Leader By Ed Young
Start Where You Are Chris Gardner
The Pursuit of Happyness by Chris Gardner
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
and of course the best book in the world One book with 66 other books in it “THE BIBLE”

F|73RR08 The fan and artist formally known as FLYERROB ~ I do not advocate to be the comments of any fan base or any NHL Team but rather my own individual self ~ if that upsets you - Sorry. ~ Lori Wilson Gray ~ April 07th 1967 - May 27th 2011 ~ Bob Wilson JR. ~ July 03rd 1944 - November 06th 2011 ~ ~ I love you Sis & Dad !

by FLYERROB on Jan 11, 2012 9:44 PM EST reply actions

Rob those doctors weren’t trying to “Dope” you up. They were trying to prescribe medication to help you with the problems you were/are having. Those same meds that you rejected are also the same meds that have helped countless people through their issues and shouldn’t just be brushed aside. They have real uses and real purposes and if used properly often have real effects that help.

I often have trouble reading into what you say but above you said

Ultimately I am the one who determines how positive or negative I am. And so can others.

I don’t know if you are trying to sound like you are contradicting yourself there but it certainly sounds like it. While YOU may be responsible for your own positivity or negativity, it’s not the same for everybody. Like most things in life, it’s different for everybody. Some people find meds work, some people find just talking works and other people have their faith. And that’s great. It really is. The more options you have is always better than hoping for one and hoping for the best.

Ultimately it’s up to the individual to take the first step but as I’ve aleady learned from this experience alone, we are all making a difference here and I thank everybody for their feedback

If you look up "Loyalty" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of a Leafs fan wearing a Todd Gill jeresy looking like he just got punched in the stomach

by Ghostsof on Jan 11, 2012 11:27 PM EST up reply actions

Ghostsof

Actually I am not Contradicting myself ~ any Mental Health Expert or any Positive Motivational Speaker will tell you the same thing. “We” as people ~ Ultimately Determine our joy. Human beings can choose to let fear or depression or sadness consume us or we can choose to stare it in the eye and say “Enough ! You will not have control over me.” I forgot to add one book that pretty much sums up what I am saying about this if you want to understand what I am saying look up a book or a DVD movie called

“The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne

This will further explain this

As far as the meds, thats my own personal choice, If you find Medication works for you, great ! Me ? I have seen allot of returning war vets taking meds like Zanax and Zoloft and Paxil and eventually over long periods of time all of these guys (3 to 5 years from 2005 & 10 to 15 years from 1991) have all wound up even more messed up health wise and mental wise.

I have only stated all this because I want to help you. If you are interested, check out those books and that one DVD.

(and with the exception of the Bible ~ No they are all not Christian promoting books ~ I am not attempting to brainwash you with Christianity ~ just trying to help you in your battle to overcome Depression)

by FLYERROB on Jan 12, 2012 8:59 AM EST up reply actions

Interesting thread. I'll chime in.

Sup, pension plan broppets. I’m a lurker. I would probably be more of a poster but I consistently forget to sign myself in or that I have an account XFD. Here’s a snippet in the life of a Generic Leafs Fan.*

If I recall, I do believe I have been suffering from some form of depression or at the very least some form of psychological disorder since around five or six years ago. I just turned 20. At one point I did seek some medical help when I explained to my parents what exactly my state of mind was, and went in to the psych ward for a check up. They concluded a few things: that I wasn’t getting enough sleep because of a lack of ability to go into REM, and that I was depressed. Of course, they gave me some meds. We sought a second opinion just to make sure they got the diagnosis right and the second opinion said he didn’t think I was depressed, but should remain on the meds.

So I did – at least for awhile. They helped me sleep somewhat, but didn’t alter my overall mental health. I noticed they were having the more negative effect of causing an addiction of some form whenever I forgot to take them, so I decided they were a bad thing and took myself off of them. In addition, it annoyed me to rely on medication to get me through my day to day life. Alternate strategies given have already been mentioned in this topic – self help books, self motivation or positive mind or attitude inspiring books. None of them work, and I consider most of them to be pretty silly – at least for myself. I am sure they have worked on many people, but to me they come off as a quick fix. There is no quick fix such as book for depression.

Fast forward to today: I still have it and it most often manifests itself in an overall lack of motivation or confidence for many things – succeeding in school, love life, going out for social events etc. I’m never not hard on myself and have difficulty in taking compliments for things that I consider most people ought to do. I am of the opinion that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and can never be completely corrected, which is contrary to a lot of thought that seeks to debunk this theory. Mine was never triggered by any traumatic event or loss or something specific. The closest I can pinpoint its origin is at some point during puberty when there was an influx of hormones and chemicals and the like. I was a happy baby and happy if not hyper child. Perhaps the stars didn’t align properly. I have noticed that this imbalance tends to balance itself in somewhat of a haphazard cycle. There are good days where I wake up feeling great and motivated to do the most trivial of tasks, and others where I put off those same tasks for weeks at a time. Going out on a grocery run comes to mind. Likewise with the things mentioned above. My personality shifts day to day from happy, positive, humourous and humble to sad, annoyed and arrogant. This is why scheduled counseling didn’t work – one day it would appear as if there was nothing mentally wrong with me, and the next day completely different. Often, I rely on close friends to snap me out of the twilight zone.

It is when those friends are not able to help I sink the deepest. Not because of an overall inability to help or something of that sort, but because of the time of day…or rather, night. When I’m supposed to be sleeping, much like now. Everybody else tends to be asleep during these times . When I am alone, I think about everything. This topic came to mind, which is why I am here. This tends to result in somewhat of a slippery slope effect, where one thought leads to another and so forth until half of me is contemplating suicide while the other half is wondering why such a thought is being contemplated and chastises it as irrational and the result of the aforementioned chemical imbalance. Other times it will be thinking about missed opportunities, how much I dislike a particular thing or individual, and so forth. It’s really quite the bundle of negativity. On the worst of these nights I’ll write out what my suicide letter would look like on my computer, then delete it all. I find that this process keeps me focused or distracted for long enough that the negativity subsides – such as writing up this wall of text.

Often I do wonder if there is something a little more underlying to everything above, and if or when it will ever get worse. I have begun to notice, for example, that the previously mentioned lack of motivation to do anything has resulted in motivation to do wrong things for wrong reasons. This, too, comes and goes in a cycle. If or when it gets worse which in my infinite negativity and dark humour surrounding myself I fully suspect will occur, the one thing I am confident in is my ability to adapt. When this occurs, I’ll be sure to put on a Leafs Man costume and mask for added effect.

by GenericLeafsFan on Jan 12, 2012 5:43 AM EST reply actions

Thank you

Thank you for posting this. I have struggled with depression for my entire life. Contemplated suicide on more than one occasion when I was going through high school. You volunteer work is commendable and I salute you for it. We need more people like you, because talking to someone is the key to solving any issue. Again, thank you.

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 17, 2012 12:25 AM EST reply actions

I was thinking about your post from last summer while writing mine, and while I’m not so bold as to say the stories are similar, I will say that your story was quite influential around these parts. As a fellow former high school student from Brantford I am aware of how small minded this town can be, it’s something I’ve heard a lot about and I only hope that it’s something that goes away soon. Thank you for sharing, both in your post and here

If you look up "Loyalty" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of a Leafs fan wearing a Todd Gill jeresy looking like he just got punched in the stomach

by Ghostsof on Jan 17, 2012 11:03 AM EST up reply actions

MY Ex Wife was from Brantford and I think she still lives there. Brantford is a nice friendly peaceful small community. She used to work at the Lynden Park Mall but I am going back about 7 yrs ago.

by FLYERROB on Jan 18, 2012 6:45 PM EST up reply actions

It’s nice and peaceful if you didn’t grow up here as part of the majority (White, heterosexual). Growing up here as any sort of minority, especially gay or Native, it’s pretty rough

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 20, 2012 1:13 PM EST up reply actions

~

Its pretty Rough growing up Gay or Native ANYWHERE in the World ~ But You stay STRONG ! Know that you are LOVED !

by FLYERROB on Jan 22, 2012 9:46 AM EST up reply actions

I wouldn’t say my story was influential (at least in my opinion). The people here at PPP mentioned it and advertised it on Twitter which was very nice of everyone here, and I appreciate it so much. But thank you for the kind words, it means a lot to me.

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 20, 2012 1:08 PM EST up reply actions

I would say that you’re story (Along with the Brendan Burke story) has taught people to rethink how they say things and put forth an effort into changing their vocabulary. And I don’t just mean using the terms “Gay” or “Fag” as derogatory terms either. I’d like to think most of us didn’t do that before, but I meant using those words (“Gay” especially) as just words without meaning (“This movie is gay”). And because of that, it’s moved on to other words with negative connotations. Try using the word retard around here and watch how fast BCapp or myself or any one of the other users jump all over it. That’s influence my friend. You may not have been the start, but you were/are (In my humble opinion) a damn good reason to think before we talk. We KNOW you. You post frequently and that always helps…..or at least in my case it does. I would wager a guess as to say we know many of the same people in this town, and I’ve learned many things from your story and it’s helped how I talk to many many people. That’s influence.

If you look up "Loyalty" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of a Leafs fan wearing a Todd Gill jeresy looking like he just got punched in the stomach

by Ghostsof on Jan 20, 2012 9:46 PM EST up reply actions

Wow, that’s actually very kind of you. Thank you, that means a great deal to me.

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 20, 2012 11:00 PM EST up reply actions

If you’re at all interested, I have a few articles up at my blog http://wccollective.blogspot.com/ the two newest ones are the ones im most proud of

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 20, 2012 11:55 PM EST up reply actions

I agree with this 100%

I’ve struggled a bit with eliminating those terms, but it’s normal if that’s what you grew up using. I’ve almost eliminated “gay” from my vocabulary, I’m struggling a little with “retarded” though. Even just a couple days ago, I was in a GDT and I think a ref made a really bad call (I don’t remember the exact context), and I commented something like “Wow that was such a retarded call” or something like that. Immediately, BCapp was on my ass about my language, and rightfully so. It’s wrong of me to use language like that, and I’m proud to say that you two have been part of the reason I’m stopping.

99% of player salaries are payed out to only 1% of players. #OccupyNHL
I'm a Twitter twat.
CanadianMaple09 is an effective Facebook stalker.

by MLS on Jan 21, 2012 12:17 AM EST up reply actions

I’ve caught myself on more than one occasion saying “that’s retarded” and I feel guilty after saying it. You’re making an effort and that’s very commendable, most people (not on here, but out in the world) don’t sadly.

"There is no big lie, no system. The universe is indifferent."- Don Draper
Follow me on Twitter! @Will_Collie

by Killer Sundin on Jan 21, 2012 12:21 AM EST up reply actions