I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 26: Greg McKegg, drafted in the second round by the Toronto Maple Leafs poses for a portrait during day two of the 2010 NHL Entry Draft at Staples Center on June 26, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

Now go read my article over at The Leafs Nation about advanced statistics, or I shall have to taunt you a second time.

If Gimp was a half-decent program, you would all have been treated to a .gif of Greg McKegg's face actually taunting you, but this will have to do for now.

Plenty of more fun over the jump, as per usual.

Banged up Marlies Prepare for Calder Cup
Kyle The Reporter has the story.

The Flexible Elephant: On the Surprising Mobility of Bloated Contracts
Ellen Etchingham isn't the first to point out that long-term contracts aren't so impossible to move, but she's awesome, so I'm linking this anyway.

Martin Brodeur: A little above average for a very long time
Cam Charron is here to tell you to walk off your chubby for ol' Marty.

Meet Your Conn Smythe Candidates
Dirty Dangle has a list.

Are the Los Angeles Kings the best eighth seed ever?
James Mirtle points out that this L.A. group has a pretty good goal differential, given their place in the standings.

Updates And A Rapid Fire Mailbag
Jeffler answers a couple questions from his Twitter feed.

The Latest Tamp-tation of Brian Burke
At The Leafs Nation, Danny Gray takes a look at the Justin Schultz situation.

Remembering what it was like when the Leafs were getting ready to play in the Cup finals
I can't really imagine what that's like, but Michael Langlois at Vintage Leaf Memories can actually give you a first-hand account.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Pension Plan Puppets

You must be a member of Pension Plan Puppets to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pension Plan Puppets. You should read them.

Join Pension Plan Puppets

You must be a member of Pension Plan Puppets to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Pension Plan Puppets. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker