PHIL KESSEL SCORES, OF COURSE

Claus Andersen

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Troglodyte Chris Neil may have temporarily believed that his contributions mattered, but anyone with anything approaching a human brain realized that this was nothing more than a hilarious delusion. If you are a Senator, Phil Kessel will always own you, and you will never amount to more than a snivelling pile of manure.

If you are a Senators fan, write that down, now.

Nazem Kadri also laughs at your pain. He has no time to pity fools. Instead, he checks them dangerously from behind and scores on them. Your concerns are only of any relevance to losers. Nazem Kadri is a winner, which you are not.

You must also write this down, silly Ottawa fans.

LEAFS WIN.

END OF STORY.

CHRIS NEIL, GO HOME AND CRY ON YOUR GIANT PILLOW, YOU GIANT BIGHEAD.

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