Prayers Answered!

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 2:15 PM EST in News

I don't often check the Ice Chips on TSN but MF37 alerted me that it held some wonderful news: Our prayers have been answered!

Andy Fucking Wozniewski, aka Herpes, aka Make-A-Wish, aka the number one reason that beer glasses would fly into my wall every other night has been waived. He'll go down to the Marlies and ruin their chances at a Calder Cup and in a year or so he'll be waived to the Memphis River Kings or whatever southern backwater hosts the Leafs ECHL squad.

Here's the daily prayer that I have been saying that appears to have been answered:

Our Interim GM, who art in the press box,
Cliff be thy Name.
Thy rebuild come.
Thy trading will be done,
On deadline day as it is in the off-season.
Give us this day our daily rumours.
And forgive us our booing,
As we forgive those who run up scores against us.
And lead us not into more rebuilding,
But deliver us from losing.

A-Fletcher

Update [9:00PM]: Loser Domi provides both a eulogy for Make-A-Wish's career and a great clip analysing his play. Are you shitting me indeed. What fan didn't gain a modicum of hope for their nascent NHL careers by watching the lost puppy that was #56 in your program.

Tonight we honour the career of Andy Wozniewski. Andy played for our beloved team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, and while his time with us was relatively short, he gave us so many fond memories. How we all laughed as we named him "Herpes" and "Make-a-Wish." How we rejoiced at the idea of his card selling for 49 cents on eBay (Momma Make-a-wish loves her boy.) Tonight, I raise a toast to Herpes.

Poll

What is your abiding memory of Andy Wozniewski?

The patented stumble turn

5 votes

Watching the Devils' Clarkson make up about 50 feet in a foot race before scoring

4 votes

His nicknames (Herpes, Make-A-Wish, Useless SOB)

9 votes

How he inexplicably kept Anton Stralman and Nicklas Kronwall out of the lineup

6 votes

His second career goal against Atlanta that pinballed and went in off of the goalie's back

3 votes

27 votes | Poll has closed

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Comments

Cliff's first move

was waiving Woz.

Cliff is so brilliant, I never would have thought of that.

I know, I know...babysteps.

by Evening News Team on Feb 6, 2008 2:36 PM EST reply actions

Baby Steps

Is right but I have faith in Cliff. This is step one in the overhaul!

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 3:08 PM EST up reply actions

congratulations

PPP, i know this is a day you have been waiting for for a long, long time...

i'm going for drinks after work to celebrate this momentous occasion.

fletcher is a GENIUS

by eyebleaf on Feb 6, 2008 2:54 PM EST reply actions

You dream

but you never really think that this day will come.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 3:07 PM EST up reply actions

Temporarily bad news

I wish I could say I'm happy about this, but I'd much rather it had happened after the season. Losing Wozniewski is likely to improve the team in the short term, as his replacement is probably better. (Unless it's Belak, who while I love just isn't a guy who should be taking a regular shift)

A better team probably doesn't bode well for our battle for last overall in the NHL, especially not with the Leafs slowly getting healthy.

by Rand on Feb 6, 2008 2:54 PM EST reply actions

No Worries

McCabe might be back Thursday so it balances things out.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 3:07 PM EST up reply actions

and carlo...

should be getting injured on saturday...

by eyebleaf on Feb 6, 2008 3:14 PM EST up reply actions

He'll fit right in with this team

LeoSC

by leosc on Feb 6, 2008 4:06 PM EST up reply actions

Options

there are other, better options that can come up from the Marlies even if McCabe isn't ready, Kronwall and Harrison are better fits than Woz ever....woz.

by jaredolondon on Feb 6, 2008 4:29 PM EST up reply actions

Anyone

Why not get Harrison up for a few games and make a decision on the guy.

And Kronwall should be on the roster anyway not just as the 7th defenceman. I can't believe he'll stick around if he doesn't get a shot at a full-time spot.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 4:46 PM EST up reply actions

Oh happy day

I'll post my Andy Wozniewski animated .gif on my blog when I get home tonight. Believe me, it's a good one.

by Chemmy on Feb 6, 2008 4:17 PM EST reply actions

Belak

I have been asking a buddy for about 4 months why they didn't put Belak on defense instead. Is he better at d than herpes? No. Is he worse? No. WIll he punch some one in the face or try to kill a man in the corner? YES. Value added.

by penaltyshotsca on Feb 6, 2008 4:34 PM EST reply actions

Good Summary

Although Belak skates miles better than Woz. At least we wouldn't see the stumble-turn-fall to knees-stand up play a few times a night anymore.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 4:45 PM EST up reply actions

Woz's only advantage

was that I felt good that an "NHL" defenseman turned as bad as I did.

LeoSC

by leosc on Feb 6, 2008 5:24 PM EST up reply actions

other Woz advantages

He provided us with ~~so much joy~~ such an easy target for jokes and insults, I feel I should saysomething in memoriam:

Tonight we honour the career of Andy Wozniewski. Andy played for our beloved team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, and while his time with us was relatively short, he gave us so many fond memories. How we all laughed as we named him "Herpes" and "Make-a-Wish." How we rejoiced at the idea of his card selling for 49 cents on eBay (Momma Make-a-wish loves her boy.) Tonight, I raise a toast to Herpes (Sweet Jesus, I thought I'd never say that EVER)

by loser domi on Feb 6, 2008 6:08 PM EST up reply actions

Now

for Ian White to say bye-bye.

by penaltyshotsca on Feb 6, 2008 5:23 PM EST reply actions

True

and then we can see Kronwall in the lineup.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 5:32 PM EST up reply actions

But what now?

The actual fan part of me knows this is probably going to benefit the team, but I'll miss the easy jokes...Maybe we can use White for that, but it just won't be the same. Maybe we should start making nicknames for people now. Any suggestions?

by loser domi on Feb 6, 2008 5:59 PM EST up reply actions

Nicks

Well, McCabe is The Anchor
Damien Cox is The Omen
Steve Simmons (for the Sundin story) is either Chicken Little or Cassandra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra) since no one pays attention to him anyway.

by PPP on Feb 6, 2008 8:41 PM EST up reply actions

nicks 2

I always thought of McCabe as "The spy who loved me" after this (which I got from you, by the way): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU_RC...

Nicely played on the Cassandra, but I think Chicken Little would work better since I don't know how many people here would know about Cassandra. I do, since I've looked at Greek plays and I used to be obsessed with Greek Mythology. Whatever you wish, P^3

by loser domi on Feb 6, 2008 9:30 PM EST up reply actions