Pension Plan Puppets, a Toronto Maple Leafs community

You ask me this every day Howard. It’s like water boarding or Chinese water torture until I crack. I’m not going to crack, I want to win every game. So it does get frustrating when you don’t win. We should send you to Guantanamo, we’d solve all the issues that we had.

You would drive some of these guys nuts. I would interview these poor guys, the prisoners, after you’ve interrogated them and see what they have to say. It would be fun.

Though the Maple Leafs obviously have nothing to do with Pittsburgh’s decision to leave Crosby and Malkin at home, it’s difficult to imagine a consumer receiving less bang for his buck anywhere on earth. Which is part and parcel of being a ticket buyer in this city.

The price range for tonight’s exhibition match — though not a surprise — is nonetheless astounding. According to Ticketmaster, individual prices start at $95.00 and increase to $150.00, $165.00, $187.00, $196.00, $203.00, $217.00, $226.00 and $416.00. If you so desire, you can log onto Ticketmaster.ca and purchase a single seat in the very first row of Sec. 107 [right at the glass] for $423.50, all fees included. You can take your wife to the game for $847.00.

The Rangers' Sean Avery won a settlement in his libel case against Toronto radio reporter Howard Berger following mediation earlier this month, Slap Shots has learned. The suit was brought in the aftermath of the pregame incident in Toronto on Nov. 10, 2007, after which Berger alleged that Avery had made comments to Jason Blake relating to the Leaf winger's previously diagnosed cancer. Terms of the settlement are confidential. Avery has at least one more pending suit relating to the incident.