clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

A Call To Arms

New, comment

The Toronto Star is trying to compile fans' opinions of the folks that describe the play and provide their own thoughts. This is a tailor-made chance to let them know that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death) are terrible.

Nick Kypreos is Death because listening to him speak makes me want to kill myself.

Pierre McGuire is Pestilence because I would rather have a terminal disease than listen to any more of his screaming.

Steve Simmons is Famine because it looks like he is single-handedly responsible for African Hunger.

And my first hate, Damien Cox, is War because usually his articles make me want to launch a little Shock and Awe his way.

But I digress, in this poll The Star has Nick Kypreos under 'Best Hockey Analyst' with Pierre 'the louder I speak the more true my thoughts become' McGuire. However, they both would be more appropriate as write-in votes (how are they not on the list? someone should get fired) in the category of 'Guy whose mouth you'd like to duct-tape'. I guess 'Guy whose mouth you'd like to duct-tape before tying bricks to his feet and throwing him in Lake Ontario' was just too long.

In the category of 'Newspaper guy who should stick to newspapers' (clearly 'as they are put through the printing press' was dropped) we have both Famine and War! Both are worthy nominees and the only solution is to vote many times.

Here is the link vote early and vote often!