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If Life Were Like That...

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I wouldn't be writing a blog and I wouldn't need a VISA because I would just pay for everything with cash. In the grand tradition of internet tagging fun I am responding to Sherry's invitation to the BoO to partake in a little bit of make-believe (which pretty much sums up a Leaf fan's existence) and imagine myself as an NHL player. E at A Theory of Ice has a roundup of some of the answers so far in what has become an interesting insight on the personalities behind the blogs. Since I am looking at a deluge of snow outside my window now is the time to daydream:

Team: God's Team. The Toronto Maple Leafs for the uninitiated.

Uniform Number: 22

Position: Right wing on the top line - might as well dream big.

Nickname: Most inappropriate for printing but probably Hector.

Dream Linemates: Dougie at centre and Wendel on the wing.

Rounding out the PP: Kaberle and Mats

Job: Finishing Dougie's passes and riding shotgun to Wendel.

Signature Move: Cutting in off the wing and ripping a wrist shot high on the glove side. It might miss, it might get caught, but when it goes in, oh boy!

Strengths: Size, speed (In this alternate universe I still have the speed from my youth), and silky smooth hands.

Weaknesses: The Flamingo, Cherry would hate it but I would make up for it by teaming up with Wendel for the most fighting majors by linemates in NHL history.

Injury Problems: I'm fine, stop asking me. I wouldn't tell you anyway!

Equipment: Same as now but I would make Bauer bring back the Supreme 3030 Stiff Flex. Sticks need to be heavy!

Nemesis: I would be Old School. Anyone without a Maple Leaf on their chest would be my enemy.

Scandal Involvement: 'Sean, I have no idea how Elisha ended up in my hotel room but she is most definitely not the Girl Next Door.'

Who Iâ•˙d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Since I would only be able to break the sens and Habs hearts in the first three rounds I would have to settle for one of the teams from Western Canada. I'll go with Edmonton.

What Iâ•˙d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: A month-long 5-city tour of the other Canadian NHL cities to share the moment with the Leafs legions of fans. Features of the trip would be Queen's We Are The Champions being in heavy rotation, large billboards of the Cup presentation being put up in highly visible areas, and an (Insert Canadian team) futility counter in front of each of the five arenas. Yes, if the Leafs win the cup I will be releasing a lifetime's worth of pent up rage.

Would the media love me or hate me?: They would love my grit, heart, Old School approach to hating everyone not on my team including any former teammates that would dare to leave, and my frequent dalliances with Hollywood's leading ladies (McAdams, Johansson, and Snow, Oh My!). Plus I would be a quote machine.

This should be a fun exercise for the boys during the break before the Name Game. I will tag Ninja, Bitter Leaf Fan, Wardo, J. Bluebud, and Andy and Matt in the hopes that they'll keep the game alive.