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From The Branches - Playoff Hate

Ed.'s Note: Some of this is new, some is old, all of it is true.

If I were to say that the NHL playoffs were about one thing it would be the Stanley Cup. Pretty obvious right? But if I added a second thing what would it be? Personal sacrifice? Emotions run wild? Players leaving a legacy? Delirium-inducing highs and depression-triggering lows? Sure. It could be all of those things but the right answer is hate.

Last year Neate Sager penned a guide to the playoffs that focused on hatred. Andy Grabia seethed at the thought of bandwagon fans in Edmonton supporting Calgary of all people. He even suggested a Sporting Inquisition although he didn't think that a death penalty was necessary (personally, I would suggest a case by case approach) he did want to root out sports greatest evil: Bigamy. Now, there is some irony in that I, along with others, have decided to start supporting the Capitals. The difference lies in that we just want a little something to cheer for during another playoff-less spring and there is no way that we'll switch allegiance permanently. Is that having your cake and eating it too? Maybe but if you tell me otherwise you're wrong.

The reason that the Capitals are an acceptable proxy for the Leafs lies in the rationality of playoff hate. Personally, aside from the Leafs I make all of my picks based on hate and even then you could probably say that cheering for the Leafs is a kind of self-hate. The order of evilness this year is pretty simple:

  • First I want all of the Canadian teams to lose (no need to have their obnoxious loads of bandwagon fans in my face) so that eliminates the senators, the Canadiens, and the Flames.

  • Then it goes by past sins against the Leafs. That gets rid of Detroit, New Jersey, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh (screw that entire state!).

  •  Nashville is out because they should be in Hamilton.

  • San Jose, Minnesota, Colorado, Anaheim, Dallas, and Washington remain as acceptable Stanley Cup champions mainly because I do not know any fans of those teams so I won't have to put up with their crap during the next season through to whenever the Leafs win the cup (or the end of my life, whichever comes first...please God the Stanley Cup).

There is no cheering for other teams especially rivals. Much like Andy I have had people ask me if I will be cheering for the Flames or Canadiens or senators because they are Canadian teams. That entire concept is ridiculous. Hell, a national bank tried to bamboozle residents of Toronto into supporting the senators! Dilletantes that make that suggestion show that they have no grasp whatsoever of what it means to be a fan(atic). Last year the most Canadian team in the playoffs was the Ducks but no one in the country advocated jumping on their bandwagon.

Over at The Battle of Ontario I penned a series of posts titled "Playoff Memories" that basically served to highlight all of the senators' painful playoff losses in their club's history. A commenter accused me of writing the posts out of bitterness. I added that it was mostly hatred for the sens. That is what makes sports so wonderful. While cheering for your team is the majority of your fandom (take note sens fans: majority) an accompanying element is the schadenfreude of seeing your rivals fail. Come playoff time sometimes that is all you have left (see: Nation, Leafs) but at least it helps you figure out who to support.

Now, not everyone hates the same way so outline how you choose who to cheer against during the playoffs. Chemmy lives close to Philadelphia so maybe it's the stink of the city that seals the deal. Or the fans spitting on him at games. Or Bobby Clarke. Basically, what I am saying is that everyone hates differently. How do you hate?

While you're pondering that question here are a couple of posts to check out:

  • Steve looks at the Marlies upcoming playoff run. Jiri "Soon to be a bust" Tlusty potted two goals and picked up two helpers. Ni-ice.

  • Chemmy paints a picture of a perfect world.