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Second Half Predictions

Editor's Note: Here is another installment in our quest to find a third contributor to the site. Please e-mail us your frank feedback even if you hate something. It'll help us come to our decision and since you folks have to read what the newcomer writes it behooves you to help. However, you do not get to benefit from their coffee runs.

As the Leafs ready themselves to face the Wild tomorrow, kicking off the second half of their season, I’m going to make a few bold predictions about the Leafs and their march towards a pretty awesome draft pick. 

Ron Wilson Attacks Media…Literally – I’ve actually been expecting this one for a while. Wilson must be taking some Zen Buddhism lessons or something. Sure, he’s been surly, and there have been times when he’s looked like he’s about to freak out, but it hasn’t quite happened in Toronto yet. That will change in the coming months. Wilson, while fielding a question from Berger about Wilson’s lack of concern for sick kids in the city, will lunge at Berger and administer a Mandible Claw. Not missing a beat, Wilson will stand up, straighten his tie, and continue taking questions.

Sundin’s Return to Toronto Will Be A Disaster – From the initial rain of boos to the final horn, Sundin’s return to Toronto to face the Leafs on February 21 will be an unmitigated disaster. Sundin will score no points and be a minus 4. He’ll also have to contend with Tomas Kaberle constantly shouting, “Why did you leave me with these…these…CHILDREN!?!?!?!” The situation will get so bad that Sundin will grant a second intermission interview to none other than Rosie DiManno, who will proceed to set the record straight with insightful and informed journalism.

Luke Schenn Will Annihilate Someone – We’ve yet to bear witness to it. You know what I’m talking about. A bone-crunching hit that will register across the earth. Anyone familiar with Lost will remember the end of the second season when The Hatch was blown up. The explosion caused the island to be visible on radar for a few seconds. Schenn’s huge hit will be along those lines. Let’s all hope it gets delivered to a senator or Canadien.

Brian Burke Will Make His Mark – Whether it be the numerous trades made on or before March 4th, the drafting that will take place in Montreal, or a linebacker-like tackle on James Duthie, Burke will put an indelible mark on the Leafs that will shape the team for years to come. There have been misgivings regarding the hiring of Burke, but I feel these next few months will put him on the road to a very successful run as GM and President of the Leafs.

Those are just a few of the things I’m looking forward to in the months to come. Hey, it’s not like a playoff spot is in our future anytime soon. We’ve got to have something else to look forward to, right?