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Red Hot Special '2 Game Winning Streak' Edition

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Time for another foreign languages lesson today, me hearties. Our subject - Phil 'WHO ELSE?' Kessel.

As I'm sure the countless Deutsche-o-phones amongst you will already know, Kessel is German for 'Kettle'. You see? Works perfectly. He's a device for heating things up to boiling point. He makes the bubbles rise. He's an active element in a chemical reaction. He's where the tea comes from! Coffee too - it's a breakfast drink bonanza with PK81!

More? You got it! Kessel can be used to describe a cauldron. You heard me right. Witches brew and where shall we three meet again! How apt that he should now play in the fiery atmosphere of the ACC where....ah...where the hors d'œuvres are truly to die for!

But that's not all. Hell no. Kessel is also used to describe a boiler - as used in a steam train locomotive! That's right, his sole purpose is to move otherwise stationary objects (q.v. Rickard Wallin) down the tracks! He'll take you to your destination - first class! Damn straight solider, we're going places - 28th place, perhaps - with Phil Kessel!

His name can be used to describe a geographic depression. Are you depressed? THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! We may be occasionally moderately downbeat, but we are never depressed. Never!

Last thought - Phil Kessel has 8 goals in 12 games this season. More than any Bruin. In half the time. Auf wiedersehen!