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A Return To The Province of Massachusetts Bay

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I come to you with a heartfelt request - a plea, if you will. Being an Englishman who spends most of his idle time on North American websites, I tend to take a fair about of good-natured flak about certain events that took place a long time ago in Boston. Not the fact that we lost some of out very bestest Puritans to those parts - nor the years of pain I endured as a child as my parents watched St. Elsewhere on TV, oh no. I refer of course, to 1773 and the Tea Party.

What I ask is this - let us once again, we Canadian and British folk, be a single nation and just for one night cry havoc and set loose the dogs of counter-revolutionary war! Tonight, let us retake Boston. Give me twenty men, strong of heart and sure of hand and I know we can do it. For twenty-four hours, Suffolk County will ring out to the sounds of The Who and Rush. The site of the place where they filmed Cheers will be torched. The Red Sox will of course be disbanded and their players put on a chain gang, working on the QEW.

Our master of deep cover espionage Kessel, has returned triumphant with the battle plans of the enemy. Given the ammo, our crack shot Finn Hagman's aim will remain true. Plucky doughboy Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo has taken up the fallen Monster's reins. Sergeant-at-Arms Wilson has organised the troop for combat. And watching it all, high on the hill overlooking the battleground, the Napoleon of Rhode Island - Brian Burke himself. As the Duke of Wellington once said - I don't know about the enemy, but my men certainly scare the hell out of me!

At the very least, we can throw the dreaded traitor Rask into the harbour. To the ramparts!

UPDATE